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IwishtoDie22
IwishtoDie22Lv22yr
2022-04-13 14:35

What happened man happened mate?, you have written amazing Storys before but this one just feels plain weired, like the character development is wierd, you have a worse story progression than in your other fics, the Grammar is not bad but definitely worse than in your other fics, the describing of actions and places is also weird. This is no hate against you as a writer I love your other stories and all that, and understand that you may want a protagonist with better morals or something like that but this just isn't for me. Take care!

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VQuintessence
VQuintessenceAuthor

I'd say the grammar is definitely better. I was quite inexperienced in my past story because I am not a native English speaker, but I'm still improving, so I see how you wouldn't find it to your satisfaction. Ian won't have much character development because of what he is, but that's a spoiler, so I can't expand on that. Also, the story progression is slower than the other one and is not as action-packed, but things will pick up soon. Ian also doesn't have many morals if any at all, he might just be worse than Yasuo because of his spontaneous nature, the opportunity just didn't arise for him to show his nature. But I understand that to each their own, and if the story is not to your liking, then It's alright. Take care!

IwishtoDie22
IwishtoDie22Lv2

Thanks for not getting mad or anything, you are one of my favorite authors on this site, and I really like all your other stories.

VQuintessence:I'd say the grammar is definitely better. I was quite inexperienced in my past story because I am not a native English speaker, but I'm still improving, so I see how you wouldn't find it to your satisfaction. Ian won't have much character development because of what he is, but that's a spoiler, so I can't expand on that. Also, the story progression is slower than the other one and is not as action-packed, but things will pick up soon. Ian also doesn't have many morals if any at all, he might just be worse than Yasuo because of his spontaneous nature, the opportunity just didn't arise for him to show his nature. But I understand that to each their own, and if the story is not to your liking, then It's alright. Take care!
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