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Akkikuro
AkkikuroLv132yr
2022-02-02 13:07

Yeah I don't know why I haven't seen any reviews say this but the synopsis says he reincarnation 1000 years in the past but I'm on chapter 8 and no it starts 1992 and tages say weak to strong from what I can see no he's are ready strong. And I don't even know if he's reincarnated. From what I can guess from look at the titles of chapters is that he's going to do his things in hogwarts with flash backs whenever he feel like it . The synopsis is a lie it would have you believe that this story is about a person being reincarnated as a devil 1000 years before the story and going through his adventure till the main plot but no at the start of the story he are ready past all that is he reincarnated I don't know what devil how is he from I don't know was he even reborn as a devil because he was a hogwarts student when he was 11 I don't know why / how didn't he get his wifes I don't know . I don't know about you but I hate when the story just starts at a later point in a mc life and randomly tell you tidbit about his past especially why the synopsis would have you believe otherwise.

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Replies7
DonnutHermit
DonnutHermitAuthor

Well, you would know If you kept reading. And there's one flash back during all the HP arc. But you would know If you kept reading.

Akkikuro
AkkikuroLv13

Yeah I did say there's flash backs and my main problem is that the synopsis makes it seem like we would see a person be reincarnated and his journey to the main story time line ( with time skips of course ) but that's not what happens.

DonnutHermit:Well, you would know If you kept reading. And there's one flash back during all the HP arc. But you would know If you kept reading.
Zero_619
Zero_619Lv5

Author I have read your novel till ch 48 and it seems to me that he is more of an OC than a reincarnated person. Because it seems like he has no recollection of HP world or DxD world at all so if you could clarify that for me it would be appreciated.

DonnutHermit:Well, you would know If you kept reading. And there's one flash back during all the HP arc. But you would know If you kept reading.
Ototsu_Yume
Ototsu_YumeLv11

It's because the true 'start' is at chapter 73 where he reincarnates, the starting HP arc is basically just showcasing how the worlds history has changed with his existing even though he had not stepped foot in magical britain for hundreds of years.

Zero_619:Author I have read your novel till ch 48 and it seems to me that he is more of an OC than a reincarnated person. Because it seems like he has no recollection of HP world or DxD world at all so if you could clarify that for me it would be appreciated.
Konrad_The_Fourth
Konrad_The_FourthLv4

Thanks just save my time

Akkikuro:Yeah I did say there's flash backs and my main problem is that the synopsis makes it seem like we would see a person be reincarnated and his journey to the main story time line ( with time skips of course ) but that's not what happens.
Eins_Mensch
Eins_MenschLv14

you make it seem like the journey to the cannon is the story, but its not.

DonnutHermit:Well, you would know If you kept reading. And there's one flash back during all the HP arc. But you would know If you kept reading.
Akkikuro
AkkikuroLv13

Man if only I could edited my own comment, it's hard to read.

Other Reviews
Victortoery12
Victortoery12Lv2

The fic itself is not bad, not my cup of tea but not bad. In the first few chapters, there are some minor spelling mistakes but nothing that makes the story unreadable. ("Ok them," instead of "OK then," in Chapter four) My main grievance is how wordy some parts of the story are, and how inappropriate some of the words used by certain characters are. Helena using "evolves" in Chapter one (Not something a 1010 Y/O Ghost should know) really hurts my soul in particular. (Could have used 'changes'?" I'm not a fan of the whole 'explaining of history' thing that goes on, it makes sense in regards to how you've crafted your fic but it is definitely too wordy. The verbal lashing the mc gives to Dumbles in Chapter Four is also too wordy. The Baron? or Fair? (Ghost) explaining the couple's history to the Weasely boys is also too wordy and has a few spelling mistakes. The readers don't need to be spoon-fed information. Orignal: "That person that the headmaster just addressed as 'my boy', is the husband of Selena Sally Ravenclaw, older twin of Helena Hela Ravenclaw, and daughter of Rowena Ravenclaw. His full name is Erik Runes Ravenclaw Lord of Ravenclaw and the Hogwarts castle. He married his wife, Selena when they were 20 year old. Today, he is 1010 years old. And the headmaster just called him 'my boy'." Less wordy: "The person who the headmaster just addressed as 'boy' is the husband of Selena Ravenclaw, twin sister of Helena Ravenclaw. His name is Erik Ravenclaw, and he's over one-thousand years old." (Not a paragraph of useless info.) There is no real need to include most of the information. Helena being Selena's twin implies that Rowena is her mother, no need to write that Rowena is her mother as "TWINS" should say enough about their relationship in one word. "Older" isn't necessary either, no one cares who the older twin is. Arguably it doesn't matter when you are 1010 years old. Including the Mc's full name is also unnecessary, he's lord Ravenclaw it's obvious his last name is Ravenclaw. Him being Lord Ravenclaw is literally yelled by the elf earlier in the chapter so it doesn't need to be mentioned a fifth time... Lord of Hogwarts (*Eyeroll*) obviously it's mentioned a lot and doesn't need to be included in every chapter, it also doesn't need to be mentioned to the students at Hogwarts, they are not your audience, your audience is your readers. Married at 20 Y/O is unnecessary, who cares when they were married? Him being called Lord Ravenclaw should also imply that he is married to Selene... Today he is 1010 years old... Using numbers instead of words is lazy, though I do it myself. This wordiness never ends and makes reading your fic painful. I don't need to be told every single bit of information, most of it should be inferred (Thought of or worked out by yourself) and not rammed into someone's brain via words. Writing is good because a majority of it is up to the imagination, if you are too specific or 'wordy' it makes it much harder to imagine what's happening. Dialogue between characters shouldn't be a paragraph long, do you let someone just stand there and belt a storm of words at your face for a minute? It just comes off as unnatural if you have a 90-word long speech as dialogue. I don't quite have a better way to convey the wordiness, maybe watch stand-up comedy and look at how trimmed their stories are? Comedians don't include useless information in their story's as that makes them un-palatable. Anything that should be guessed or implicitly understood shouldn't be so obviously stated in the story... Sorry if this is explained poorly, I don't know how to better put it into words. Feel free to message me or reply to this comment if you want to talk a bit about wordiness.

Zero_619
Zero_619Lv5
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