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PragmaticoLv153yr
2021-11-13 09:08

So I read until it was no longer free for a reference point. Didnt see any kingdom building up to that point and Del as a character didnt really grow just got money to buy gear. I would imagine going through enough trauma would change his character in some way. Grammar needs improvements. Like saying she when talking about cassander and other minor errors. Also have not seen why stat points matter when he just uses a firearm. Wish you luck with your story

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XerstorenLv13

4 stars for me. Just read 10 chapters, I wish to read a little bit more but I find a point in the novel where I'm sure many people would drop it. Let's go to the facts; - MC characters is... awful, it's clear that he was a childish and incapable person previously. He has no ambition whatsoever and is very impulsive in his behavior. He doesn't reflect upon his actions nor think about his future. All in all, is quite distateful as a main character, for me he seemed like a random character in a book who died later on. -World building: In this aspect I can say that is well written, although there's nothing crazy, it fits quite well and you don't have a hard time imagining it. Pretty solid. -Interactions: This is a point where I think that while it's not bad, it can improve much more. It's okay but seemed somewhat lacking. There's also little monologues or other tools that could tell us what the MC and other characters think about their situations. All in all, it could clearly improve. -System?: Yes, there's a question mark there, because I keep wondering myself in these 10 chapters, is that really a system? It feels more like a shop. Story wise, i see a clear problem with the novel, which is, the main character. There's no signs or whatsoever that he could improve, there's no goals and anything like that in these chapters that could give you the hope to keep reading it. There's also another point I wish to say this early, is quite simple to see how the author didn't wished to point out in the development of some business or something for the MC, I'm aware this isn't a kingdom building novel, whoever, knowing how his system function, is clearly somewhat a cheat if he could gain quite amount of money, which would ease out his problems. But since this would eliminate the drama and plot for the author, since there would be little to no struggle for the MC, there's no words nor indication from the MC in that aspect. Like a said, 4 stars novel, which is quite good in web novel standard. Just hope for the Main character personality to improve since it makes harder for me to keep reading it. Wish you good luck and success author.

The_ProcrastinatorLv12
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