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Mel_Aniv
Mel_AnivLv43yr
2021-06-16 11:40

Hello author, hope you had a good day (or night) depends. So I have seen your work, today I will review your novel and I think you are doing fine with your narrations. I can still see that it can be improved. The narrations were direct and concise. It was a nice story all in all and Such cuddly and heart pumping in some places. What a beautiful novel you have. I think I have to read more as I am just on the tip of the iceberg. Making me see just a shallow part of it. But so far, I can see its potential. Good luck in the Spirity! Hope you win! Have a five star to brighten you up. ✨

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Replies3
Mel_Aniv
Mel_AnivLv4

Review swapping done 😎

lon_okami
lon_okamiAuthor

Ayy Thanks mate, much appreciated 🍀

Mel_Aniv
Mel_AnivLv4

welcome and no problem

lon_okami:Ayy Thanks mate, much appreciated 🍀
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Zephyir
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A fantastic piece of work from Author-san. A marvelous concept storywise. Although the pacing seems to be quite slow compared to some other stories I've read so far, Author-san has done an amazing work using it to give the readers a detailed, in-depth look into the characters' interactions, relationships, and machinations of our seemingly impassive and calculative MC. The interactions between the characters also feel quite natural and realistic. The only slight criticism I have is about the grammar. There's usually some misplacement of pronouns or other tidbits during most chapters, and some descriptions of the characters' interactions that just feel a bit wrong detracting from the story, but otherwise it's quite good. I recommend using Grammarly if you don't already. It effectively and efficiently aids in helping fix grammar mistakes and also allows you to learn from them properly. It's also free which is always a plus. Moreover, personally, I'm somewhat sad it doesn't seem to be a harem-type story so far but hey, that's just me. It would be quite interesting to possibly have a side-story or development where all the girlfriends that the MC has helped, remember him for it or whatnot. However, Author-san may possibly have some plans regarding this already. That aside, I'm definitely enjoying the read so far. I can't wait to see how Author-san develops this since it has so much potential and they're absolutely smashing it so far. Keep up the good work Author-san, you have my support! [img=recommend]

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