webnovel
BrewingFantasiesLv33yr
2021-06-11 23:21

[Reviewed on: 12-06-2021] GOOD POINTS: - Comical vibe through the chara of female demon/devil - MC is reasonably smart, not too dumb to cringe at all - The flow and pace is fine too - Apparently there are no issues in grammar [will explain further below] - Storyline somewhat resembles 'my pick up artist system' but no it's not a fanfic - MC has a goal to achieve or he will die - At first it gave me 'death note' vibe, then the devil felt a succubus to me as she emerged - It was entertaining~ WEAKNESS: - Synopsis doesn't really tells what's inside, it should be more elaborative on the contract aspect - The initiative strategy in chapter 1 is extremely wrong - No one wants to read the routine of MC, his house, work, what he is wearing, food, etc - The narration is in personal/1st person but the repetition of 'I' is annoying, in about five lines 'i' is overly used seven times! - 1st chapter should have begun by the later half, the upper half is completely dump in my opinion. Since 2 and 3rd chapters are without fillers and absolutely good with hooks, while 1st [initial half] is a turn off. - Devil can read his mind but at places she doesn't respond to his thoughts, why?

Soul for a Girlfriend?

lon_okami
4.8
323 Chs

Liked by 8 people

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Replies1
lon_okamiAuthor

Thanks for taking your time and write this review 🍀. Will work on the weakness of the book 🤧🤧

3yr
6
Other Reviews
lon_okamiAuthor

As the author of this book, I will really appreciate if people who are reading this book, add this to their library. It really helps out a small creator like me. 🍀

3yr
33
7

lon_okamiAuthor

Hello Author-san here ;) This is my first novel and plot development is a bit slow because I want it to be as detailed as possible. So please bear with me. ^W^

3yr
20
5
The_ProcrastinatorLv12

Reveal spoiler

3yr
8
5
RyakudanLv2

Reveal spoiler

3yr
4
1
GumyWrmLv11

I like this novel its similar to an anime i watched called The World God Only Knows btw if you end up liking this novel then the animes is worth a watch also this works vice versa if you liked that anime you will probably like this novel. [img=recommend]

3yr
3
Mel_AnivLv4

Hello author, hope you had a good day (or night) depends. So I have seen your work, today I will review your novel and I think you are doing fine with your narrations. I can still see that it can be improved. The narrations were direct and concise. It was a nice story all in all and Such cuddly and heart pumping in some places. What a beautiful novel you have. I think I have to read more as I am just on the tip of the iceberg. Making me see just a shallow part of it. But so far, I can see its potential. Good luck in the Spirity! Hope you win! Have a five star to brighten you up. ✨

3yr
3
3
lon_okamiAuthor

This is just to tell you guys who are reading my novel or going to read it, that I update my book on weekly basis. Every MONDAY and THURSDAY I post new chapters. Since it's not possible for me to update daily. 🍀

3yr
3
mskim133Lv1

This is very good and I like that the story starts right away. I also like that the character seems well developed and we can see how the character thinks from the onset. I think this is a really good book and I can't wait for other chapters. good luck to the author!

3yr
3
2
ZephyirLv13

A fantastic piece of work from Author-san. A marvelous concept storywise. Although the pacing seems to be quite slow compared to some other stories I've read so far, Author-san has done an amazing work using it to give the readers a detailed, in-depth look into the characters' interactions, relationships, and machinations of our seemingly impassive and calculative MC. The interactions between the characters also feel quite natural and realistic. The only slight criticism I have is about the grammar. There's usually some misplacement of pronouns or other tidbits during most chapters, and some descriptions of the characters' interactions that just feel a bit wrong detracting from the story, but otherwise it's quite good. I recommend using Grammarly if you don't already. It effectively and efficiently aids in helping fix grammar mistakes and also allows you to learn from them properly. It's also free which is always a plus. Moreover, personally, I'm somewhat sad it doesn't seem to be a harem-type story so far but hey, that's just me. It would be quite interesting to possibly have a side-story or development where all the girlfriends that the MC has helped, remember him for it or whatnot. However, Author-san may possibly have some plans regarding this already. That aside, I'm definitely enjoying the read so far. I can't wait to see how Author-san develops this since it has so much potential and they're absolutely smashing it so far. Keep up the good work Author-san, you have my support! [img=recommend]

3yr
2
1
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