webnovel
SCP_0999
SCP_0999Lv43yr
2021-03-29 04:14

First! I wish you good luck author. The fanfiction is great, the development and interaction between characters is amazing. //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

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Bukaro
BukaroAuthor

It makes me happy that you are happy<3

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Yuri_is_Ntr
Yuri_is_NtrLv5

Now I remember why I dislike your first novel. You ask me what this novel about : Well... Something like this. 30 percent of mc thinking about how shit his personality is. 30 percent of mc thinking what girls personality is. 30 percent of thinking about his future plans. 10 percent of actual actions or dialogs between characters. You see a problem here? Maina characters thought is 90 % narrated what happens in retrospective or bitching about girls/his own problems /his future plans. That's not a novel. That's fucking diary. Of bipolar main character. Why I call him bipolar? He doesn't actually comes to conclusions. Develop over times. He switches opinion. If at first he was against long term relationships. He then just accept it. Without actually liking shigure in that moment. Harem? He likes only shigure but started to make plans. Why and how? I don't know. He doesn't actually receive any stimulus to think that way. System quest doesn't actually give him anything noteworthy. He doesn't come to like any others girls. He just wants to make harem now. Great. That's not a character development, mate. That's an illness. Changing you mindset without any reason - is literally bipolarity. Of course before you need to bitch about it. Half a chapter, minimum. Of course. His constant bitching is what get me mad. In first chapters we see someone who have obvious flaws but have a strong character - now he just a bitch who afraid of anything. And like to bash himself and talk how evil he is and how evil he's plans. Without actually showing it. Perfecto, comrade. I don't if his promised character development would actually make it more tolerated. But 10 chapters in, and all I see is nagging . It's like swimming in hot pot that every time keeps rising temperature. It's painful.

THORN
THORNLv1
SOMMO_ARCANO
SOMMO_ARCANOLv2
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