This novel is harder to review for me. When the dialogue between the mc and most of the other characters is happening, the story is enjoyable and immersive. The focus on including lots of character development through dialogue is a strong point of this story. I also think that the portrayal of characters from the world is done well, as they do not feel totally different from the original novel. The world building could use some improvements. It is there but some more introductions to the power scaling and important characters in the world would help. A lot of the time things are introduced but only in name and without context. The pacing is also consistent but could be faster(cutting out olivia alone would have things moving faster).
But other times, some sections are inconsistent, feeling forced, lengthy and not flowing with the rest of the story. This mainly happens with the mc’s interactions with the oc character Olivia. I held off on commenting about this in the early chapters and even deleted a comment as the author stated they were trying to inprove things. And while they do improve, it is not enough and still lacks believablility. Olivia is like Sansa Stark in game of thrones in that she doesnt add anything to the story. She constantly anatagonizes the mc, needs help from the mc, and almost every interaction the mc has with her doesn’t fit with how is his character is portrayed in the rest of the story. No one in the story frustrates, angers, or crosses the mcs boundries more than her, but he never acts according to those feelings aside from yelling at her. But he still helps her more than anyone else, even Kim hajun. I have seen friends in toxic relationships(romantic or otherwise) like this and it is frustrating to read when the mc is portrayed as someone who would never put up with this but continously does. After 40 or so chapters the reason for his patience was given as she reminded him of himself, but it is far from enough to explain his inconsistent character. In my personal opinion, Olivia, like Sansa Stark, could have been removed from the story and nothing would be different. In fact it would probably improve the pacing of the story.
I wont touch on the excessive cursing, but it is indeed excessive. Overall, I have hope for this story. It is unique and ambitious. The good quality grammer and spelling compared to other fanfics shows the authors care for this work. I really dont like olivia and the mcs interactions with her. I also worry that the author is being to ambitious with the over complicated backstory. But i do like how the backstory actually has meaning and isnt just there to elicit sympathy. In summation, there is some good, some frustrating and a lot of potential. Above average for now but could be much higher and i hope it keeps improving.