webnovel
jaoui
jaouiLv53yr
2021-01-08 15:25

The novels extra was one of my favorite novels. and im happy that theres a ff. but tbe characterdesign and their interaction are really not my favorite. they seemed so forced and useless because of maybe not enough information or thinking. bc of that i cant see growfh in power in romance and in thinking. But the writing helps a little. if youre a fsn of the novel, then i think its something wortheile to read or atl if you have nothing else to do. and it seems that there will be many chapters. but yea.. its ok :/

Liked by 8 people

LIKE
Replies1
dvelasquez
dvelasquezAuthor

Thanks for reading, man! And yes... It will have many chapters... xD So any feedback during this journey to help me grow as a writer will be appreciated.

Other Reviews
lJeDl
lJeDlLv1

It ain't that bad, if you can ignore all the cursing and edgy stuff. My problem with the cursing is that there's too much of it, I myself curse daily but not to the extent that every sentence I say contains cursing, basically the MC sounds like a brat who just learned swear words. Another thing I didn't like is the MC being too edgy and a prick all the time, like if my friend just says for me to do things all the time and that if I complain one bit he will get angry at me and says for me to 'just get on with it and do it!', I will probably punch him in the goddamn face. Another thing is that this fanfic is basically a wish fulfillment, Why do I say this? well first of all the MC is too fukin' strong! unnecessarily at that, like you can just give him a powerful gift but no... you just had to give him another type of power that doesn't belong to that world, Why?! One more is that the MC is basically a retard, he wants to lay low but he answered almost all the questions correctly, I mean come on buddy that's just a retarded move! if you want to lay low just answer 40-50% of the questions! This is also one of the reasons I hate some novels who has MCs laying low but does it in a retarded manner EX: Guy wants to lay low so that he doesn't get noticed, does a physical exam(running) and stays in the middle but after the exam he didn't even pretend to be exhausted while everyone else was panting from exhaustion, like dude! of course your ganna get fucking noticed! Well enough of that, apart from those things it is pretty good, also please don't write anymore singing its horrible. here's a gif of what I think of the fanfic

The_Almighty_Lord
The_Almighty_LordLv5
Reevoo
ReevooLv11

Author seems to understand Novel's Extra quite well, so I was excited for this even though the grammar was nothing to praise. However... it went downhill fast. (FULL OF SPOILERS BELOW) Some things that really bother me are, - The MC curses all the time. Like... In almost every conversation he has, he's going to curse. It just honestly results in an off-putting MC that has a small vocabulary who can't speak without feeling like he's superior to everyone else. - Out of nowhere, we get some real chunni shit dumped into the back story of the MC that becomes his extra powers in this world. Some weird, cringe dragon stuff. He also has other power systems other than mana... that add nothing special to the story. Just another way of making the MC OP. Any enjoyment we could have gotten out of someone using their meta-knowledge to get stronger is instantly taken away as the MC is already one of the strongest in the world... while also at school and doing nothing other than cursing other people out. - Progress is slow. Now, that usually means we see character development with other characters and with the MC, but like I said before, he spends most of his time cursing out other characters and saying the same shit 10 chapters in a row to this OC archer girl. ... However, the banter between the MC and Kim Hajin is actually really good. Even though he starts pushing for character growth from Hajin even though its only been like 3 days... C'mon. Anyway, it's not horrible, but I feel this should be used as a draft for the author to rewrite it without the shitty out of nowhere power up, tone down the cursing and increase the pace of the story.

WiLeYBiGhEaD
WiLeYBiGhEaDLv12

This novel is harder to review for me. When the dialogue between the mc and most of the other characters is happening, the story is enjoyable and immersive. The focus on including lots of character development through dialogue is a strong point of this story. I also think that the portrayal of characters from the world is done well, as they do not feel totally different from the original novel. The world building could use some improvements. It is there but some more introductions to the power scaling and important characters in the world would help. A lot of the time things are introduced but only in name and without context. The pacing is also consistent but could be faster(cutting out olivia alone would have things moving faster). But other times, some sections are inconsistent, feeling forced, lengthy and not flowing with the rest of the story. This mainly happens with the mc’s interactions with the oc character Olivia. I held off on commenting about this in the early chapters and even deleted a comment as the author stated they were trying to inprove things. And while they do improve, it is not enough and still lacks believablility. Olivia is like Sansa Stark in game of thrones in that she doesnt add anything to the story. She constantly anatagonizes the mc, needs help from the mc, and almost every interaction the mc has with her doesn’t fit with how is his character is portrayed in the rest of the story. No one in the story frustrates, angers, or crosses the mcs boundries more than her, but he never acts according to those feelings aside from yelling at her. But he still helps her more than anyone else, even Kim hajun. I have seen friends in toxic relationships(romantic or otherwise) like this and it is frustrating to read when the mc is portrayed as someone who would never put up with this but continously does. After 40 or so chapters the reason for his patience was given as she reminded him of himself, but it is far from enough to explain his inconsistent character. In my personal opinion, Olivia, like Sansa Stark, could have been removed from the story and nothing would be different. In fact it would probably improve the pacing of the story. I wont touch on the excessive cursing, but it is indeed excessive. Overall, I have hope for this story. It is unique and ambitious. The good quality grammer and spelling compared to other fanfics shows the authors care for this work. I really dont like olivia and the mcs interactions with her. I also worry that the author is being to ambitious with the over complicated backstory. But i do like how the backstory actually has meaning and isnt just there to elicit sympathy. In summation, there is some good, some frustrating and a lot of potential. Above average for now but could be much higher and i hope it keeps improving.

Alex1911
Alex1911Lv6
Related Stories

The Asshai's Bloodmage

After dying on Earth, the protagonist wakes up in the world of A Song of Ice and Fire. Armed with the knowledge from the books and coming from a more evolved society, he accepts his new life and identity and decides to learn more about this world of magic and dragons. However, things are not as simple as he imagined. Sent to a very distant past where the Targaryen conquest has not yet happened, his knowledge of the renowned literary series is not of much help, and to make matters worse, he was reborn in the worst place and at the worst possible time. [BEEP] [System activated] [7 days until the doom of Valyria] [New mission!] [Run away!] TAGS: Game Of Thrones, Valíria, Targaryen, System, Magic, Adventure, Dragons, Pirates, Slaves, World Building, Weak to the Strong, Rituals, Horror, Monsters, Firearms, Multiple POV, Secret Organizations. Hello everyone, I hope you like my fanfic, it takes place 400 years before the events of Game of Thrones, in this fic I will show my own vision of Asshai by the shadow using my experience that I gained from reading many magic novels. I hope you like the city of shadows that I created. The system is not powerful and will only help the protagonist with small facilities and some minor benefits. This is my first time writing and I do not have an editor, feel free to correct anything in the grammar. I really like the sinister environment of Asshai where no magic is forbidden, and because there are few mentions in the books about this place, I started to have these ideas about what Asshai and its society would be like, so I decided to share these thoughts with you and write this fic. I hope to gain more practice and experience as an author, to later release my own book that is also already in development. Enjoy the book everyone!

RedSage · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
67 Chs

Harry Potter: Sex Oriented Hogwarts

“Please, Daddy fuck me. I need you so much!” Lucifer let go of her bum and slid his hand under her hip, going straight for her pussy. Her petals were silken with want, and he nodded, deciding that it was wet enough. “Get on your knees, pet. Suck me hard again.” Hermione backed off his lap and knelt to receive his offering. Tickling and tapping him with her tongue, she worked it back to full strength. His hand sank into her hair, slowly dragging her mouth closer to his pelvis. “That’s my good girl. Are you ready for that dip you’ve been begging for?” Hermione released his cock and looked up at him in a daze. “Did you say dip or dick?” “Dip,” Lucifer repeated, smirking. “But since you’re a good girl, you can have both.” ______________ Synopsis - Lucifer Morningstar, The Devil escapes the Underworld to have a vacation on Earth. But due to some unexpected problems, he would be forced to enroll into Hogwarts, and meet a certain Bushy-haired girl, Hermione Granger. All characters doing sex age is 18+ Lucifer, The Devil is Billions of years old, with Hermione Granger having multiple personalities, her other self's age is 18+ (Hermione - Blessed by Amenadiel, time works differently for her, she has already surpassed age of 18+) __________ Remember do not compare reality to fiction. No copyright infringement intended. All characters rights belong to their owners. Updates - Mon, Wed, Fri, Sun 1 Extra Chapter - 125 Power Stones! ________________ To Read 45+ Advanced Chapters, and support this novel, pls join me on Patreon. Link - patreon.com/SmutDxddy Thank you so much for your Support!

SmutDxddy · Book&Literature
3.8
221 Chs