webnovel
Groenendaal
GroenendaalLv13yr
2021-09-29 14:41

terrible grammar, almost unreadable.

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4

Aeternabilis
AeternabilisLv14

I'm not gonna lie, this has very interesting ideas but to me, it was poorly executed. The mc is just way too strong it is a joke. He is basically a god... I loved his backstory (other than the part where the fam should have been killed by Grindelwald and not Voldemort) For me, his three wishes should have been the family background, his looks and maybe something like potent magic power? Then it should have shown the mc growing up, learning all the secrets of his house and the things with the dragons maybe even getting his own. So he won't be a god but is still pretty op from the things he learns in his travels and from his family. We can watch him learn these feeling closer to the character. Then he comes back to do everything mainly build his city and focus on that. Forget all these other things such as controlling muggle world all the magical market's etc He can link his islands as resorts etc that you teleport to from the city, create the private school, the stadium etc. This can then grow and build on into canon and see how it affects the world. Maybe even have it mixed into marvel or something. Having your own magical city in marvel etc. I feel these would have been much more interesting to read tbh. Cause instead I feel what I am reading is a god mc where everything just jumps about, skipping massive parts, making random sht up and adding it in with no thought... It goes way to fast to the point you get confused about what has happened and how. Like he is suddenly friends with the goblin nation, he has all these girls that he gains in seconds etc etc The book is also wayy to focused on how amazingly handsome the mc is and how every girl or person that sees him is start struck and want to worship him... it's honestly like half the story is about this. I hope the author reads this and slows down, think about the plot more etc gl to him

Tri123
Tri123Lv5
Related Stories

Harry Potter: The Legend of Nero Ravenclaw

In a world far more dangerous than the one he once read about, Nero Ravenclaw is reborn as the heir to Rowena Ravenclaw’s legendary bloodline. Armed with knowledge of the books and a mind sharpened by experience, he quickly realizes that this isn’t the same Harry Potter universe. It’s darker, deeper, and filled with wizards far more powerful than he ever imagined. Determined to carve his own path, Nero seeks to reach the apex of the magical world. As he unearths the secrets of the founders, navigates political intrigue, and clashes with forces both known and unknown, he must forge his strength to survive. With new ranks of wizards, powerful bloodline abilities, ancient magic, and a reimagined magical system, this is the untold story of a Ravenclaw who refuses to be bound by destiny. The wizarding world is far greater than anyone imagined. And Nero intends to claim his place within it. Disclaimer : I don't own Harry Potter or its characters (except the original characters I create). PS: It is my first time writing a fan fiction. I welcome all reviews and constructive criticisms. I really hope that you will enjoy it. PSS: I plan on releasing 2 chapters a day until i reach 20 chapters, then at least 6 chapters a week. PSSS: I have been releasing much more chapters than my plan, but do no expect an EVIL Dumbledore here, instead, expect a new take on him, compared to usual FanFics. If you can, please support me on Patreon: patreon.com/Suiijin (up to 75 chapters in advance)

Suiijin · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
82 Chs