3.8- The plot starts in ame, and hanzo is alive, so way before cannon, like konan is a kid, about 25 or yrs before....very nice. IDK, try to develop or something, I am really praying u dont join konoha or someshit and do the usual shit. Use SI knowledge for advantage, for fiction to non fiction knowledge. Eye shit is dope but would be nice if MC uses other shit like kaguya clan shit, the new eye thing in boruto, jugo bloodlines or something.
1.2- FK UR PLOT. no offense but seriously, a plot which basically is an MC trying get all the chicks is not a story but a personal wishfullment *** fantasy type shit. not a bk. [ unless its removed ]
That said, urs is better cause it has actual content, and I will just ask this. add content. build ur story, unlike the other garbage in this site with degenerate MC and sluts. Some people like reading stories
Also. look...kinks are kinks, but dont have 12 yr olds having intense ***** relationships, its weird. take time and dont rush, and just build it.
**: I hope u dont do the shit u did with narcissa here, also ur other bk....the entire world was revolving around MC, everyone other than MC was a retard to the point it was funny. try to avoid that and make people sensible.
IDK , anyway GL, dont do the usual shit. if u do, nothing wrong just give a heads up