webnovel
Aaron_McLeod_1690
Aaron_McLeod_1690Lv153yr
2021-05-20 21:03

horrible english. not worth the read as you spend more time trying to figure out what the author is trying to say as opposed to enjoying the story or characters.

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
Replies1
Ripcorez
RipcorezAuthor

Thank you! I'll try to fix my English even more!

Other Reviews
Magical
MagicalLv3

RIV
RIVLv4

*PLEASE READ THIS REVIEW ALL THE WAY THROUGH BEFORE DOING ANYTHING* I absolutely love the idea of this book and it should have been an enthralling story. However, as I read into the book it became more and more apparent that the plot of the story was being made up on the fly and that there was only thought as to that exact moment in the book. The main character was made fairly okay in the beginning but very soon he became like the traditional cardboard cutout of an isekai protagonist bearing no unique qualities and his voice and actions we as though they came right from the authors head making the Main Character fell less like a person and more like a puppet. and the "People" around him were even worse, not only were they used to info dump every few chapters but they orbited around the main character draining the chance that they could have had to have a well fleshed out personality. The plot feels forced and like a match made in heaven, making me feel a little weird because although I am not opposed to it, it makes it harder for me to really place myself in the character position and it breaks the immersion I would normally feel from a book. Now with all my nitpicking out of the way I actually really liked this book. The idea and concept behind the book were phenomenal I was so happy to see someone finally make a book within this category of multi-dimensions, and I must say good sir that this author did a wonderful job with his world-building and how he structured the way everything is supposed to work. I think that this author is not bad at writing but just needs some experience with the wording because info-dumping is okay in any book the only thing is that you need to word it so that it is easier on the reader. The characters need a little more fleshing out and they need to be a little touched up but that can be fixed with time and a little bit of hard work. Overall, I liked this book and to the author. This is a bit of constructive criticism and I hope you take it with a grain of salt as I really liked the concept of your book and I would love it even more if it can reach new heights with this review. I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.

Related Stories

Primordial Villain with a Slave Harem

Quinlan, a simple office worker finds himself transmigrated to an extremely dangerous fantasy land as a level 1 Commoner with nothing to his name but his wits - and a unique gift that accompanied his teleportation. No one in Thalorind could have predicted that this unassuming arrival would one day rise to the top, redefining the very meaning of the term 'power'... And that he may have achieved said result by joining a criminal organization and clawing his way through its ranks. In the beginning, Quinlan was painfully weak and alone but thanks to his severe trust issues, joining a team was... hard. However, he soon noticed that a lot of people have collars around their necks in this world... People that couldn't exactly betray him. Follow Quinlan's journey as he grows in strength, amasses wealth, fights to the death, and meets lovely ladies. ... Discord: https://discord.gg/bjunEkswQ3 ... After writing over 750 chapters, here’s what you should know: 1. About the beginning: The early chapters are a bit rough. I'm not saying that it's horrible, in fact, I believe the story to be very enjoyable right from chapter 1. But, at the end of the day, this is my first original novel, and I stumbled in some areas, especially with the MC's attitude. He's too reserved and occasionally too "simpy" with the first female lead. However, the MC grows into a confident, powerful, and composed figure. No long-term cringe. He becomes the kind of MC you want to root for. 2. Quinlan’s morality: He’s not a cruel, sadistic villain. Most of the time, he won't even be acting like a real villain, only when pushed to the limit. Meaning he won't torture puppies or civilians for fun while cackling manically. However, he’s greedy, shameless, and opportunistic. If the lives of his loved ones are at stake and he can only save them by burning a city with innocents inside down, he’ll do it. He's ruthless toward strangers when necessary, but doesn't delight in cruelty. 3. Regarding slaves: Yes, Quinlan becomes a slave master. However, he treats all his women—free or enslaved—with care and respect. 4. More than smut: Every love interest has a real story, a real presence. No girl will be left behind. As of Chapter 750, Quinlan has 7 lovers and a few more "in-development" love interests. This is not a "catch them all" story, adding one girl every 20 chapters. I prefer harems made up of girls with richly developed characters over giant harems full of shallow ladies. Quality over Quantity. 5. Balanced storytelling: My aim was to create a work where romance, action, and slice-of-life blend together naturally. There’s high-stakes action, power progression, romantic developments, comedy, and some chill downtime to let both the characters and the readers breathe. 6. Weak-to-Strong Progression: Quinlan will become OP. But he rises slowly, not overnight. His journey will hopefully feel earned. 7. Not every female character listed in the fandom is a love interest: Some women are important to the plot but are not part of the harem or a planned to be, such as his two mothers. 8. No Yuri. No NTR. That's it, thank you for taking your chance on my novel! I'll make a promise to you, showing how much I believe you'll love the novel if you get over the somewhat bumpy beginning! If you read 750 chapters and hate the story even after investing so much time into it, then you may burn me alive!

NecroBin · Fantasy
4.6
767 Chs