webnovel
Parisian_Moon
Parisian_MoonLv104yr
2020-08-25 08:10

Please support the work of my favorite voice actor, you guys. He's a really great writer plus he's creative and a handsome minor. It was generally well-written there are a few minor mistakes but overall it's good.

Liked by 8 people

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Replies6
ayaneisme
ayaneismeLv1

minor mistakes? hohohoho

Parisian_Moon
Parisian_MoonLv10

he's a minor after all

Ripcorez
RipcorezAuthor

Bruh thank you <3

Crimson_Assassin
Crimson_AssassinLv12

Handsome minor? Please face the wall

Parisian_Moon
Parisian_MoonLv10

i see you are an assassin , huh

Crimson_Assassin:Handsome minor? Please face the wall
image
HotRedFlaming
HotRedFlamingLv3

fbi

Parisian_Moon:he's a minor after all
Other Reviews
Magical
MagicalLv3

RIV
RIVLv4

*PLEASE READ THIS REVIEW ALL THE WAY THROUGH BEFORE DOING ANYTHING* I absolutely love the idea of this book and it should have been an enthralling story. However, as I read into the book it became more and more apparent that the plot of the story was being made up on the fly and that there was only thought as to that exact moment in the book. The main character was made fairly okay in the beginning but very soon he became like the traditional cardboard cutout of an isekai protagonist bearing no unique qualities and his voice and actions we as though they came right from the authors head making the Main Character fell less like a person and more like a puppet. and the "People" around him were even worse, not only were they used to info dump every few chapters but they orbited around the main character draining the chance that they could have had to have a well fleshed out personality. The plot feels forced and like a match made in heaven, making me feel a little weird because although I am not opposed to it, it makes it harder for me to really place myself in the character position and it breaks the immersion I would normally feel from a book. Now with all my nitpicking out of the way I actually really liked this book. The idea and concept behind the book were phenomenal I was so happy to see someone finally make a book within this category of multi-dimensions, and I must say good sir that this author did a wonderful job with his world-building and how he structured the way everything is supposed to work. I think that this author is not bad at writing but just needs some experience with the wording because info-dumping is okay in any book the only thing is that you need to word it so that it is easier on the reader. The characters need a little more fleshing out and they need to be a little touched up but that can be fixed with time and a little bit of hard work. Overall, I liked this book and to the author. This is a bit of constructive criticism and I hope you take it with a grain of salt as I really liked the concept of your book and I would love it even more if it can reach new heights with this review. I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.

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