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JArJaR
JArJaRLv44yr
2020-10-31 05:38

soo uhh peanut butter?

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Riryz
RiryzLv5
VINCI88
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The fanfic is very nice. The simple novelty of having a ninja from another village other than Konoha grants many points to this story. Mc has many flaws, especially his arrogance, however this makes him simply human. I disagree with many choices made by the protagonist, especially those of the first chapters when he had to choose his skills. however there is tremendous potential in his Kekkei Genkai, you may want to read Sir Lucifer Morningstar's 'I am Mr Five' fic to find inspiration on the possible uses of his ability. honestly I would like it if the protagonist finds a way to use his skill in the same way as Whitebeard's Gura Gura no Mi, after all with explosions you can create seismic waves. becoming the man capable of literally shaking the entire ninja world would be awesome. Another flaw is its lack of development in Lightning-type techniques. His Kekkei Genkai grants him an affinity for Earth and Lightning, but we have seen very little development on lightning-type techniques. if mc has some knowledge of how the earth's magnetic field works, he could theoretically exploit its affinity for lightning to create real storms. another big flaw is the lack of medical or sensory techniques, not to mention the absolute lack of trying to learn some Genjutsu. ok! If you have no fantasy eyes, in Naruto's world it seems pointless to learn Genjutsu, but it's always a useful skill to have, Kurenai has become a Jounin with Genjutsu. Then there are the medical skills and honestly if you don't want to learn any medical jutsu you need to get your hands on the Tsunade technique. Plus there is also the poison issue to consider and I can't believe he went to war with Suna without poison training. Then there are the sensory and revelation issues. The easy way to get rid of this problem would be to get a summon, but he could also try to get a ninja dog. having a reliable partner like a ninja dog or even more ninja dogs like kakashi is a sure way to eliminate these flaws. Finally there is the fuinjutsu. During the invasion of Uzushiokagure he used the system to copy a lot of fuinjutsu but he never tried to use them. It almost seems like his fuinjutsu abilities are zero. Yet our mc knows that it is a ninja art that can defeat the most powerful creatures in the world of naruto and create OP techniques such as the Hirashin technique. Honestly I'm glad that as a ninja he has a lot of flaws, but I find it inconceivable that Mc keeps his arrogance without trying to cover up his flaws as a ninja.

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Pokemon Alternate Universe Adventures

A man from an Earth gets the choice to start over in any Universe and chooses an Alternate Pokemon Universe. Let us see if his journey to the top is succesful and the impact he will have on his new world. Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Game Freak and Creatures Inc. I just use their sandbox for the plot of my MC and my OCs. This will be a "slow" paced story, in fact it's "super slow paced", so please don't expect the MC to directly start his journey in 20 chapters or so, actually multiply that by like 15. A lot is going to happen before that happens. The first 10-20 chapters or so are information heavy, depending on what kind of reader you are. I try to keep my chapter length between 2000 and 3000 words per chapter. My release rate is 4 chapter/week for now. I have a patre*n for those that want to support me with access to some advance chapters as a thank you. patre*n.com/Azrail93 This is an alternate pokemon universe so there will be differences to the games, manga and anime. So if something in the story is different it is most likely on purpose. The original sources are seen as suggestions not laws. Differences can be: Type variants, evolution conditions, strength mechanics, world building and more. If I am at some point asking for reader input I will do so but otherwise I will ignore most suggestions. So please don't spam things like catch this pokemon or do that next. I have my plot planned and external input will be considered when asked for. If I see a suggestion that I believe fit my plot flow I will use it and will credit the commentor. Comments on spelling and grammar mistakes are welcome. I will try to correct said mistakes with time. Constructive criticism will be read and considered. Insult and hate comments will be ignored or deleted depending on severity. Readers naturally can comment their dislike but one worders will be ignored. If the reason for the dislike is explained I will read it. Like previously mentioned pure insults and hate comments will be ignored or deleted. The same is true for simple hate reviews or insulting ones. Reviews complaining about something I warned about, such as the slow pace, will be deleted as well.

Azrail93 · Anime & Comics
4.6
824 Chs