webnovel
LLP_G10
LLP_G10Lv44yr
2020-08-06 05:48

Mc is a shinobi iwa, very rare to find in other fanfics The beginning is very strange as he was born for example and the grammar is full of errors, but from chapter 5-6 onwards the grammar improves a lot

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Riryz
RiryzLv5
VINCI88
VINCI88Lv2

The fanfic is very nice. The simple novelty of having a ninja from another village other than Konoha grants many points to this story. Mc has many flaws, especially his arrogance, however this makes him simply human. I disagree with many choices made by the protagonist, especially those of the first chapters when he had to choose his skills. however there is tremendous potential in his Kekkei Genkai, you may want to read Sir Lucifer Morningstar's 'I am Mr Five' fic to find inspiration on the possible uses of his ability. honestly I would like it if the protagonist finds a way to use his skill in the same way as Whitebeard's Gura Gura no Mi, after all with explosions you can create seismic waves. becoming the man capable of literally shaking the entire ninja world would be awesome. Another flaw is its lack of development in Lightning-type techniques. His Kekkei Genkai grants him an affinity for Earth and Lightning, but we have seen very little development on lightning-type techniques. if mc has some knowledge of how the earth's magnetic field works, he could theoretically exploit its affinity for lightning to create real storms. another big flaw is the lack of medical or sensory techniques, not to mention the absolute lack of trying to learn some Genjutsu. ok! If you have no fantasy eyes, in Naruto's world it seems pointless to learn Genjutsu, but it's always a useful skill to have, Kurenai has become a Jounin with Genjutsu. Then there are the medical skills and honestly if you don't want to learn any medical jutsu you need to get your hands on the Tsunade technique. Plus there is also the poison issue to consider and I can't believe he went to war with Suna without poison training. Then there are the sensory and revelation issues. The easy way to get rid of this problem would be to get a summon, but he could also try to get a ninja dog. having a reliable partner like a ninja dog or even more ninja dogs like kakashi is a sure way to eliminate these flaws. Finally there is the fuinjutsu. During the invasion of Uzushiokagure he used the system to copy a lot of fuinjutsu but he never tried to use them. It almost seems like his fuinjutsu abilities are zero. Yet our mc knows that it is a ninja art that can defeat the most powerful creatures in the world of naruto and create OP techniques such as the Hirashin technique. Honestly I'm glad that as a ninja he has a lot of flaws, but I find it inconceivable that Mc keeps his arrogance without trying to cover up his flaws as a ninja.

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