webnovel
50ShadesOfAss
50ShadesOfAssLv144yr
2020-06-22 04:21

This is obviously good. I’ve been looking for a fanfiction where main character has Mokuton. It’s my favorite in the Naruto world. The fact that Kushina is a love interest is even better. Only concern I have is that you don’t nerf or even down play MCs power.

Liked by 3 people

LIKE
Replies35
Evil_Dragon
Evil_DragonAuthor

That won't happen. Unless I show some specific reason, Mc won't be losing against anyone. Not just you, I also don't like to show my mc at the losing end.

Mortifer
MortiferLv14

MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFEDMC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFEDMC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED

General_Paragon
General_ParagonLv5

I don't know if this type of spam should be reported...

The content has been deleted
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFEDMC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFEDMC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED

The content has been deleted
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFEDMC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFEDMC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED

The content has been deleted
TiananmenSquare198
TiananmenSquare198Lv5

How fucking braindead and stupid must you be to think the author ""nerfed""" the mc ive met fucking Troglodytes more mentally capable then your dumbass , holy **** even a dolphin would be insulted if i compared your intelligence with its . Man youre not older then 12 but please bear in mind that op as **** MCs that face no hardship arent good writing stop wasting time reading garbage harem fics with some op SI so that the author can think their life is even slightly successful and go read some actual books and maybe then you will realize attacking an author because you cant comprehend basic sentences isnt a valid or good thing to do now please go to your fucking cave where you and all the people who got upset at chapter 36 live , off your puny lives and never get out again you'd be doing a great service to humanity if you would grant my simple wish. Thank you and with malicious regards -Royal

Mortifer:MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFEDMC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFEDMC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED MC GETS NERFED
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

Braindead enough to have fun doing this. Get more angry, i like it

TiananmenSquare198:How fucking braindead and stupid must you be to think the author ""nerfed""" the mc ive met fucking Troglodytes more mentally capable then your dumbass , holy **** even a dolphin would be insulted if i compared your intelligence with its . Man youre not older then 12 but please bear in mind that op as **** MCs that face no hardship arent good writing stop wasting time reading garbage harem fics with some op SI so that the author can think their life is even slightly successful and go read some actual books and maybe then you will realize attacking an author because you cant comprehend basic sentences isnt a valid or good thing to do now please go to your fucking cave where you and all the people who got upset at chapter 36 live , off your puny lives and never get out again you'd be doing a great service to humanity if you would grant my simple wish. Thank you and with malicious regards -Royal
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

Braindead enough to have fun doing this. Get more angry, i like it

TiananmenSquare198:How fucking braindead and stupid must you be to think the author ""nerfed""" the mc ive met fucking Troglodytes more mentally capable then your dumbass , holy **** even a dolphin would be insulted if i compared your intelligence with its . Man youre not older then 12 but please bear in mind that op as **** MCs that face no hardship arent good writing stop wasting time reading garbage harem fics with some op SI so that the author can think their life is even slightly successful and go read some actual books and maybe then you will realize attacking an author because you cant comprehend basic sentences isnt a valid or good thing to do now please go to your fucking cave where you and all the people who got upset at chapter 36 live , off your puny lives and never get out again you'd be doing a great service to humanity if you would grant my simple wish. Thank you and with malicious regards -Royal
TiananmenSquare198
TiananmenSquare198Lv5

So by being an unlikeable idiot you think people are gonna like you ironically?

Mortifer:Braindead enough to have fun doing this. Get more angry, i like it
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

Why would i want people to like me? I don't even know you guys lol

TiananmenSquare198:So by being an unlikeable idiot you think people are gonna like you ironically?
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

Why would i want people to like me? I don't even know you guys lol

TiananmenSquare198:So by being an unlikeable idiot you think people are gonna like you ironically?
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

What hardships are you talking about? He fought to a draw with a f*cking kid after killing a few handreds and being able to fight kages

TiananmenSquare198:How fucking braindead and stupid must you be to think the author ""nerfed""" the mc ive met fucking Troglodytes more mentally capable then your dumbass , holy **** even a dolphin would be insulted if i compared your intelligence with its . Man youre not older then 12 but please bear in mind that op as **** MCs that face no hardship arent good writing stop wasting time reading garbage harem fics with some op SI so that the author can think their life is even slightly successful and go read some actual books and maybe then you will realize attacking an author because you cant comprehend basic sentences isnt a valid or good thing to do now please go to your fucking cave where you and all the people who got upset at chapter 36 live , off your puny lives and never get out again you'd be doing a great service to humanity if you would grant my simple wish. Thank you and with malicious regards -Royal
TiananmenSquare198
TiananmenSquare198Lv5

Hardship wasn't in reference to this fanfic in particular as we discussed you cant read context , but let's go through this 1 by one , MC was holding himself back , he didn't use his most powerful and versitile technique , and used his less then desired Taijutsu , when he was 1 tired , 2 injured , 3 an 8 year old whos been training for a year and about the kage **** he didnt fight any fucking kages how do you all misinterpret using Kurama to hide and stall for time as fighting Jesus Christ i hope you never reproduce.

Mortifer:What hardships are you talking about? He fought to a draw with a f*cking kid after killing a few handreds and being able to fight kages
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

Against a f*cking kid? Why not create a valid scenario to f*cking induced hardships rather than force it by making him draw against a f*cking kid

TiananmenSquare198:Hardship wasn't in reference to this fanfic in particular as we discussed you cant read context , but let's go through this 1 by one , MC was holding himself back , he didn't use his most powerful and versitile technique , and used his less then desired Taijutsu , when he was 1 tired , 2 injured , 3 an 8 year old whos been training for a year and about the kage **** he didnt fight any fucking kages how do you all misinterpret using Kurama to hide and stall for time as fighting Jesus Christ i hope you never reproduce.
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

Against a f*cking kid? Why not create a valid scenario to f*cking induced hardships rather than force it by making him draw against a f*cking kid

TiananmenSquare198:Hardship wasn't in reference to this fanfic in particular as we discussed you cant read context , but let's go through this 1 by one , MC was holding himself back , he didn't use his most powerful and versitile technique , and used his less then desired Taijutsu , when he was 1 tired , 2 injured , 3 an 8 year old whos been training for a year and about the kage **** he didnt fight any fucking kages how do you all misinterpret using Kurama to hide and stall for time as fighting Jesus Christ i hope you never reproduce.
TiananmenSquare198
TiananmenSquare198Lv5

"Agaisnt a f*cking kid?" NEWS FLASH MC IS FUCKING 8 idk what world you live in but man drugs aint good for you

Mortifer:Against a f*cking kid? Why not create a valid scenario to f*cking induced hardships rather than force it by making him draw against a f*cking kid
TiananmenSquare198
TiananmenSquare198Lv5

"Agaisnt a f*cking kid?" NEWS FLASH MC IS FUCKING 8 idk what world you live in but man drugs aint good for you

Mortifer:Against a f*cking kid? Why not create a valid scenario to f*cking induced hardships rather than force it by making him draw against a f*cking kid
Mortifer
MortiferLv14

8 strong enough to kill hundreds of genuine shinobi despite the assistance of extra chakra

TiananmenSquare198:"Agaisnt a f*cking kid?" NEWS FLASH MC IS FUCKING 8 idk what world you live in but man drugs aint good for you
TiananmenSquare198
TiananmenSquare198Lv5

Yeah that extra Chakra was nothing special it wasnt like the Kyuubi who while split in half defeated every other bijuu nah that would never happen in the history of existence its impossible, oh wait thats exactly what happened.

Mortifer:8 strong enough to kill hundreds of genuine shinobi despite the assistance of extra chakra
TiananmenSquare198
TiananmenSquare198Lv5

Yeah that extra Chakra was nothing special it wasnt like the Kyuubi who while split in half defeated every other bijuu nah that would never happen in the history of existence its impossible, oh wait thats exactly what happened.

Mortifer:8 strong enough to kill hundreds of genuine shinobi despite the assistance of extra chakra
Other Reviews
NotYourCat
NotYourCatLv11

There are times when the story that you like, become the story that you dislike because of the idealist of author want to force some plot he want... Example: The Last of Us 2 And this story It become annoying when author nerfed the MC just because he want to write bull**** rivalry... Moreover the rival is random OC, we don't care about him, and it's make the story less enjoyable. Good Rivalry needs some build up, and not randomly he is as strong as the MC, altho you write some reason why he is that strong, that just become like your unneeded reasoning for that forced plot. IMHO, rivalry plot is not gonna works in fanfics, because majority of the reader doesn't care for the rival. That will be different in original novel.because you can build up the rival, but in this story... No... I don't think it'll works... You just make many of your reader feel irritated if you forced it... Will still read it but let's see... Maybe I will drop it if some forced plot that's make me feel uncomfortable still happen... Oh, forgot to say, I recently always commented something like this when do review Please thinking about what kind of feeling you want to deliver to reader, do you want the reader feel blood pumping while reading your story, feeling relaxed, feeling sadness, or feeling happy, you should incorporate it to the plot... Think if you write this chapter will the reader feeling what I want they to felt, if I write this paragraph, will the reader feel what I want they to felt, etc... So the story you make will not become random plot without feeling, and also not triggered your reader

Tsukimikado
TsukimikadoLv4

I do not see a lot of grammar mistakes so that part is good but others?? Ohh boi, where do i even start. First, Tsunade only left Konoha nearing the end of second war because Dan die near the end of the third the reason being she is still there in konoha during Anko's cursed mark sealing flashback helping Anko with Hiruzen. Do u remember who is the same generation as Anko if not earlier? Kakashi and bunch meaning she still there during third war. So your baseless bashing of her in last few chapters left a bad taste. Yes Nawaki may died during the Second but not Dan. Also that means Tsunade is also at Konoha during Mito funeral, i mean seriously, u r forcing Tsunade who loves her grandparents way too much too out of character. Lastly, really, i mean really of all female character u chose Kushina, make no mistake, i like her and all but this also botched the canon future and i can not see the good point about it. Just way too idealistic. Plot armor is only in moderation plus doing your research about characters before u write them. Uzushiokagure case is a curious one since Kishi left a black hole in that plot in any case Hiruzen is the best military leader since he won two wars with scheming and all but he is a joke during peace time, i mean he won the second war when he do not have many SS class shinobi with him iirc only him and sakumo since the sannin were still young during that time only at the end they fought Hanzo and became famous and during the third war he prolonged the fight to nuture Minato and BOOM. He may have profitted from Uzushiogakure and Iwa, Kumo, Kiri war i do not see him selling info about the seals. Those three village only aim at Uzumaki clan because they want their bloodline and seal technique and being eliminating one of Konoha's main ally is a huge bonus to that. If Hiruzen knew about it quicker he can two pronged the villages and won it rather than prolonging it at the cost of its many shinobi lives.

Baki9933
Baki9933Lv3

First, I have to say that this story has a decent grammar, alongside the similarly-decent pacing/structure. Nonetheless, the clarity could indeed be somewhat better, honestly speaking! Currently, my biggest problem with this story is actually the author's relatively weak comprehension of the English language itself; So, let me explain now what I mean by that: He likes to write many glaring awkward sentences in a paragraph, and it's not just one or two sentences, here and there, - the entire chapters are filled with them, to be honest! It simply doesn't 'flow' well with the native speakers, such as myself, as it really takes away from the overall immersion, and the readability, of the entire story we're supposed to read here! Therefore, even though he has a nice vocabulary, and writes in a grammatically correct way, it still doesn't feel authentic to an English native speaker, who likes to read with care and doesn't just skim over the words, looking for wish fulfillment moments, Basically, even though it's not exactly on the "Engrish" level of writing, so to speak, it's really coming close to that, in fact! However, if you're in a similar bracket as the author, regarding your English grasp levels, then I guess that this won't be much of a problem for you, in the end! As for general writing; It has some nice ideas, but it also appears quite unrealistic, most of the time (this could also maybe attributed to the previous point). TL/DR: If you're an English native, I genuinely recommend staying off this story in the future!

Related Stories

Bleach: The Invincible Slacker from Rukongai

Bleach: The Invincible Slacker from Rukongai Reborn in the world of Bleach, Uehara Shiroha wakes up to find himself in the chaotic streets of Rukongai. But unlike the countless souls struggling to survive, he has one overwhelming advantage—an absurdly overpowered Mission Task System! With every "effort" he puts in (or doesn't), the system rewards him with broken abilities. On day one, he stumbles upon his first bugged skill—the Shadow Clone Jutsu—turning even laziness into a superpower. By the time he reluctantly enrolls in the Shin'ō Academy, he's already leagues ahead of his peers. One simple task later, he earns an S-rank Stand—White Album, granting him control over absolute zero! From then on, Uehara Shiraha sets his sights on the easiest, most carefree path to ultimate power. Becoming a Shinigami captain? Too much responsibility. Protecting the world from destruction? Not his problem. Revering the Spirit King? Even a stray dog has more significance to him! All he wants is to complete some tasks, sip fine sake, and enjoy the company of beautiful women—all while becoming invincible across the Three Realms without lifting a finger. Because true strength isn’t about effort—it’s about mastering the art of slacking off in style! This is a translation and editing of Bleach: The Invincible Slacker from Rukongai 死神:从流魂街开始无敌的摸鱼佬 Author: 扛把子的熊猫

Garuda_Translation · Anime & Comics
4.3
97 Chs

World Traveler Villain

Mc is killed but he’s saved by the Villain System. He has to go to different movie worlds and complete tasks to earn villain points. There’s more to the system and the story than just going to movie worlds. The story is somewhat simple, sometimes doesn’t make sense but it’s funny and entertaining. I think it’s definitely worth the read. Just don’t expect a serious literary masterpiece or something. Obviously. Movies: Captain America. Transformers. RE. Marvel. HP. Fast and Furious. Underworld. The Monkey King. Avengers 2. A chinese odyssey. Spiderman. X-men. And more. Harem: Main girls from these movies. No girls left behind. There are some originals too. Mc steal girls from the og characters obvs. Basically netori. No NTR at all. And, for those who care, all girls are ‘pure’ even if they had bfs, lovers husbands before. *** Tags: Anti-social Protagonist, Antihero Protagonist, Arrogant Characters, Evil Protagonist, Death, Beautiful Female Lead, Evil Protagonist, Killing, Fan-fiction, Fanfiction, Fantasy Magic, Fantasy World, Gate to Another World, Handsome Male Lead, Harem, Harem-seeking Protagonist, Harry Potter, Incest, Male Protagonist, Marvel, Modern Day, Modern World, Movies, Netori, Perverted Protagonist, Movie Worlds, Polygamy, R-18, Sadistic Characters, Sexual, Stockholm Syndrome, System, System Administrator, Villain, Weak to Strong, Multiverse, Omniverse, Multiverse Traveling, World Hopping. ***** You can support me by joining my Patreon and get upto 60 chapters in advance. patreon.com/Translator_God

Translator_God · Anime & Comics
4.6
216 Chs