I haven't read or watched any horror in a while, yet I felt those tingles again just by reading the first chapter of this novel. The introduction of the protagonist's personality and ambitions was done very well. The descriptions of the gloomy mansion and the frightening events are really vivid. The plot flow and characters aside, the writing itself needs some more improvement. First, "Hastin" the name of the protagonist is used too frequently that just makes it sound a script of a movie or game rather than a novel. I suggest "He" would be used at some instances since there are few characters around him and it wouldn't be hard to know who it refers to. One more thing is about the scene where innocent people get scammed by the app and are suddenly teleported to that spooky mansion. I suggest the author showed what happened and not told. For example, he could shift to the point of view of one of those people. This way, he could show how they thought toward this invitation and how sudden and frightening it was for them to find themselves immediately in that strange place. Overall, I say the author did a very great job. The story is unique and the characters are also distinguishable. Keep up the effort until this novel reaches the top!!!
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Thanks for the review and suggestions! Once again I went back and edited most of the 'Hastin's to 'he'. Hopefully, it doesn't look more frequent anymore. I will edit the chapters once again and try to improve the flow of the story as well as my writing. Just a spoiler: What happened to the first five and all other details will be described more clearly to another important character who will enter later in the story. Once again, thank you for the honest review!
nub this aint spoiler
