webnovel
QTi
QTiLv34yr
2020-05-08 14:17

First, the quality of writing is 2 stars because there are many voids in the story and you could make it mysterious in order to avoid some common flaws, for example, when he died, the system responsible for his desires that could be implemented against karma died, if the strength was strong, he could put defects to make it cheaper, and so on. Because she can leave her at any moment, it is an unstable situation. The development of the story is one star because you made him Obi from the beginning, and this will affect the story greatly, meaning that I am the next chapters will never be good. As for the background of the world evaluated by 1 star, it is possible for the writer to improve the background until the person’s death method did not explain it well, and why a higher creature will waste time to meet a human being. This is a big and very common mistake, please change it if you can. Character design I do not know very well in order to establish an accurate evaluation 2 stars, according to the oldest, it may rise or fall more. You have a Google translator.

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Replies5
SomeSpookyGuy
SomeSpookyGuyAuthor

Thanks for leaving a review. But I don’t use google translator, English is my 1st language. And, i believe i have fixed most of the mistakes. And i also think you didn’t fully read the description.

QTi
QTiLv3

I told you that I am using a translation program

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IPreferLonerMc
IPreferLonerMcLv5

Capitalize “i”, bruhhh

SomeSpookyGuy:Thanks for leaving a review. But I don’t use google translator, English is my 1st language. And, i believe i have fixed most of the mistakes. And i also think you didn’t fully read the description.
Cookie4Life_
Cookie4Life_Lv4

Ummmm...

Deadlydeadly
DeadlydeadlyLv3

Hi what language do You speak because i Just want to knOw

QTi:I told you that I am using a translation program
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