webnovel
Sage_HiddenBear
Sage_HiddenBearLv64yr
2020-06-30 08:31

Seemed interesting. I thought, Hey a story about a sytem that slowly turns tbe mc into a fill blown vampire, neat right? While the idea is certainly cool, and the world backgrojnd at least plausible in the sense that its slightly different from the usual people from regular earth now have powers trope, its...dull. The characters are currently extremely shallow, there is the most strange contrivances and forced behavior. Now trust me I want to enjoy the story but the amount of hand waving required is rather high. Im at the point where its required that I simlly forget about any semblance of logic or reasoning. Heck even just basic plot flow requires me to have immense suspension of disbelief. Tbe idea has great merit. The method the author uses to slowly change the mc into a monsterous creature is neat. The actjal implementation within tbe story and how the mc and surrounding characters react is not neat. Its dull. Keep trying author, I am sure you will make it better and better as you go. Just dont force stuff. You want something to happen, ok, them think about the most logical and realistic way it could happen in the world setting. Dont just force things to occur a la deus ex machina, hand wave miracle juice. Good luck!

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Replies2
JKSManga
JKSMangaAuthor

Thanks for the review, Most of what happens in the begins make sense later on, everyone has a reason for what they are doing, Just noticed that you are on chapter 24 so if you keep reading you will find out :)

ArisinsKareem
ArisinsKareemLv4

Hye, I'm a fellow webnovelist who goes by the name ArisinsKareem. Can you check out my new novel "Berserker... Crank Wars!"Your feedback would be very much appreciated. Also I ask for your forgiveness if I've offended you in any way(even by adding this extra sentence for you to read)

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Kekekekekekek
KekekekekekekLv15

Cloud999
Cloud999Lv5

In my opinion, this novel isn’t #1 rank material, but the author is a genius for bribing ppl with extra chapters for power stones. Writing quality is not the worse but still pretty bad, lots of misspelling and wrong words used. Once example, ‘integration’ is frequently used instead of ‘interrogation’. Although this happens quite a lot, the real problem is the way the story is written. The writing style is too shallow, it doesn’t give you the sense that you are immersed in the story world. There are not enough details to describe the character and environment. Up to now I still can’t picture what the characters and the school look like. One reviewer compared this with Lord of the Mysteries, which is just absurd. The writing style of LoM makes you feel like you are inside the MC’s head, immersed in his thoughts, emotions, and actions. This novel feels like you’re reading a summary of the MC’s daily activities, it is detached and doesn’t bring you up close and personal. Story development is progressing nicely so far. Contains your typical tropes and plot armor, but it’s not as absurdly done as other webnovels. Not much else to say since the novel is just beginning. Character design: It’s too early to tell but so far just 2 characters have hints of hidden depth, which could lead somewhere interesting. For now, the characters seem very shallow. The characters need to be fleshed out more, especially regarding their physical descriptions. Vague descriptions like ‘short brown hair and tall figure’ and ‘long blonde hair and perfect proportions’ doesn’t cut it. World background has great potential. Not much is revealed yet, but there are portals to other worlds and different species and factions, which leaves much to be discovered. Overall, I like the novel. There are only 108 chapters released so far, so there is room for improvement. I look forward to seeing how this novel progresses, it definitely has great potential.

Supsooped
SupsoopedLv2

Fairly mediocre read. Nothing that's offensively bad, though also nothing special, creative or particularly good. The writing quality is "so-so". For starters, there is plenty of simple spelling mistakes. I personally don't really mind, though still somewhat annoying. What's more annoying, is the occasional grammatical error. Also nothing too bad or too frequent. It's still there though. The thing that annoys me most about the writing quality, is the really simply and at times clumsily written sentences. A lot of simple word usage and simple sentences and the prose at times doesn't really flow too well. Update stability is fine. Story is fairly generic though interesting enough to keep most people reading. Characters in this novel are one of it's other downfalls. They are all fairly two-dimensional. There just isn't much too them. What you see is what you get. There is also plenty of weird logic leaps all over the place, which make the characters feels more like NPCs, than like actual characters. Big 'meh' for me. If this was done well, this novel would have been so much better. The world is okay. Some thing are pretty interesting, while others are straight ripped out of any generic anime. The world is also pretty childishly put together. The reasoning and motivations for the way things are the way they are, only make sense if you don't really think about them. Could overall be a decent read if you haven't read many novels like this and aren't bothered too much by the occasional writing issues and the childish portrayal of the world and characters. If you're looking for real quality and/or creative, look elsewhere.

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