The writing is decent enough, almost no typos or grammatical errors and the story in itself it really thought out well but our mc seems very underwhelming with the information she has For example, occlumency seemed to be the most obvious thing in the world for her but wasn't mentioned
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LIKEYour problems seem to stem from the fact that you never gave the story a chance to grow. Why would the MC be instantly trying to cram lessons as advanced as that within the first 9 chapters? Or even need to worry about it till much later along. Fun little fact. it is mentioned, and she does slowly learn it.
Anyone with half a brain would cram the absolute **** out of occlumency if they had read the books or even just watched the movies just ones in their lives... It's not that I'm mad about her not studying properly cause she probably will in later chapters but she doesn't even think of trying to learn occlumency until she could've already been ****ed if their head of house tried to read her mind
I don't think you are giving the character enough credit. And unlike most stories that we see with reincarnation or self-insertion, she is treating this as her life. It's not some big old game. Waking up, from a beating from an abusive father. Placed in a terrible situation, with terrible living conditions, terrible health conditions and a glaring lack of safety. The last thought on your mind should be "Oh, just woke up in the Harry Potter universe, with all my past memories mostly obscured, the memory of the deal to come here basically forgotten, Let's get on that Occlumency grind." An art that is considered high level and mostly unused and therefore mostly out of reach until she has the means to access it. So, no I doubt the first thing would be let's cram magic into out self before we are even old enough to use magic let alone before we escape the abusive household and brush off the extended childhood traumas. Yes, the is a problem for the future in the mind-reading. However, that was a future problem she had more pressing issues on her plate.
So I haven’t read the story yet just checking the reviews before I do and this conversation was a little interesting so thought I would just say from reading the comments I’d agree with you on everything but just if I was in the situation you described I would definitely try and learn everything I can about magic so I could protect my new life haha but I’m off to read the story now and see what you were all discussing
Good luck with the story. I also get where you are coming from. Being sent to a world of magic and danger and not taking every advantage as you can get would be incredibly foolish. However, we must remember that this is supposed to be a second life and life is so rarely easy that you can power grind like some fantasy hero. Otherwise, everyone would be doing it. The muggle-born, the purebloods with a lick of sense would all be cramming their heads with magical knowledge because in this world magic = power and they be a power-hungry people. So, it would be common sense to learn as much, magic as you could, however, circumstance would be against most not born into the right place in society to abuse the privilege to learn.
Yes I agree with you there I’ve read about 100 chapters now and she is in her second year at hogwarts and I do believe she has a solid understanding of her situation and is learning magic at a good rate and don’t really think it could be much if any faster so I can only say it’s well balanced