Item: Two_Times
Rating: 3
Author: impatientreader123

impatientreader123Lv55yr

2019-10-02 18:43

i just came across the story randonmly while reading some post in a forum. anyways, after reading I think it was good (not great because of some mistakes in reading flow you can say); specially considering it is author's first time. It's just a chapter, but god I felt that "thudd" along with uneasiness as i read last two line. Overall nice short story (not techincally a story, just a incident). Also, the dvelopment of story was a bit weird as it was confusing when he started remembering of what happened, so yeah a bit messy flow I would say.

Two_Times

Nou

Not enough ratings

1 Chs

Liked by 1 people

Replies2

NouAuthor

Thanks InpatientReader123! Appreciate the feedback!

5yr

impatientreader123Lv5

Ig I would have given higher rating, if I could have been able to differentiate when it went back n forth between past n present.. but heyyyy I'm a zero at creative writing... So all the best... U do have a way to get people's attention into story... 😀👌👍

5yr

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I like your concept, but somehow the writing couldn't get me. It was more like I was reading what has happened. It seemed a narration of the entire event. I didn't get pulled in the universe of this tale. Also, there were couple of errors. Perhaps, you meant them to write in Italics and then they would have seemed right but since Italics isn't allowed here, it looks wrong. You should put them in single quotes. But like you said that this is your first story - you've done a wonderful job if that's the case.

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