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LostInFictions
LostInFictionsLv45yr
2019-11-20 16:21

I like your concept, but somehow the writing couldn't get me. It was more like I was reading what has happened. It seemed a narration of the entire event. I didn't get pulled in the universe of this tale. Also, there were couple of errors. Perhaps, you meant them to write in Italics and then they would have seemed right but since Italics isn't allowed here, it looks wrong. You should put them in single quotes. But like you said that this is your first story - you've done a wonderful job if that's the case.

Two_Times

Nou
Not enough ratings
1 Chs

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Other Reviews
Gourmet_DAO
Gourmet_DAOLv7

Reveal spoiler

5yr

impatientreader123
impatientreader123Lv5

i just came across the story randonmly while reading some post in a forum. anyways, after reading I think it was good (not great because of some mistakes in reading flow you can say); specially considering it is author's first time. It's just a chapter, but god I felt that "thudd" along with uneasiness as i read last two line. Overall nice short story (not techincally a story, just a incident). Also, the dvelopment of story was a bit weird as it was confusing when he started remembering of what happened, so yeah a bit messy flow I would say.

5yr
PeachyPearl
PeachyPearlLv4

Since it's said to be a one shot, I think it's okay to review it. It's a MUST read for those who love to read about LOVE I'm not talking about romance here but a pure kind of love. Above those physical things, that sweet feeling, you have delivered that feeling really very well, Author. I'm really impressed. Please create more such stories. Thank you for letting me read this one of the Pure Love based stories on WN. I'm contented.

5yr
Tyramisu
TyramisuLv14

Reveal spoiler

5yr
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