webnovel
Johnjayjay
JohnjayjayLv136yr
2018-05-23 23:39

Sorry RebirthDao... I tried, I REALLY tried, to read your novel but you need to continue studying the English language before writing a novel in that language. Well, perhaps you are writing in your native language and translating it over to English. Whichever it is, I could only get about half way into your first chapter before I had to just stop. There are just too many grammatical errors and such, making it far too frustrating to continue on. I wish the best of luck to you.

System Creator

Broughtwaorld2
4.1
7 Chs

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
Replies5
Broughtwaorld2
Broughtwaorld2Author

Sir, if u could give a try again, I would really appreciate it as I have already edited chapters for grammatical errors. I thank u for your patience in advance

6yr
imenload
imenloadLv5

man i didn't try it but i think it will be better than mtl translations, right?

6yr
Mondo
MondoLv5

The 1st chapter is super confusing for me because of the shrimp stuff but if u read past that point it doesn't quite explain it still but the rest of the story starts to flesh out and the grammar gets way better.

6yr
Broughtwaorld2
Broughtwaorld2Author

yes sir

imenload:man i didn't try it but i think it will be better than mtl translations, right?
6yr
1
Broughtwaorld2
Broughtwaorld2Author

please try again as its re-written

Mondo:The 1st chapter is super confusing for me because of the shrimp stuff but if u read past that point it doesn't quite explain it still but the rest of the story starts to flesh out and the grammar gets way better.
6yr
Other Reviews
Broughtwaorld2
Broughtwaorld2Author

Hi author here, till chapter 9 I will try to lay down the foundation for mc and after that I will start to develop character and world. Please try and bear with the writing. As for Indian characters, i am an indian and would like to promote the culture of India( I really dont have much knowledge of chinese culture) thank you, and appreciate you guy's viewership.

6yr

FanHarem
FanHaremLv14

I don't understand all the bad reviews, most of u didn't even read the story before commenting. The author himself said he is still a noob and will make some mistakes, so cut him some slack people, the author has some good idea, don't let it go to waste.

6yr
Mythfury
MythfuryLv6

Very interesting and unique novel...keep it up .just do not quit halfway.also plz explain more in world background ...................................................................................................😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

6yr
Broughtwaorld2
Broughtwaorld2Author

hi author here. Sorry for such a mess up. I assure you this story is even better than last time. please do support me by reading this again as i commit myself to atleast 1 chap update

6yr
Nileon
NileonLv15

Reveal spoiler

6yr
mugglemortal
mugglemortalLv5

Let's see how that ***** shweta brags now huh. Absolutely loving this novel, hopefully you can go all out in production after your exams thanks for the great story

6yr
Luft_Rauser
Luft_RauserLv7

5 star for u now give me more updates ................... .................... ..................... .. . YDysfzufxfuxgjgjgjxjfhffjxzfhydzzfhzfxjggcjgcjhfxfhxfhxfhfjfjxgcgjgxj .. .... .

6yr
Skully_
Skully_Lv13

**Brutal Mode** Engaged Starting a story is easy! Just drown the reader in so much info dumping and exposition that they can’t possibly escape! Once the reader is stuck, then trap them in a series of MC weak to strong building and ass-kicking of arrogant masters. They will never escape then and will be forced to read the rest of your story. . Originality - 0/5 - It's a cultivation novel. No, wait! It's a System novel. Why not throw in naruto fanfic while you're at it? Oh LOL he was watching Naruto! Close enough. Wait Wait. Let me guess his cultivation system will be based on Dragon Ball? That will be the trifecta of Webnovel fads. Please ascend. Story - 2/5 There is a story. There is. This is not a paper on a system cultivator, is it? Am I reading one endless monologue? I am sure this story would be great if I could get past this wall of text hiding Mount Tai. Characters - 1/5 The characters speak to me. Literally. The MC rarely speak to someone else, unless its a cardboard cut out cliche. Parent, Grandpa. Quite literally named Grandpa trope so the author doesn't have to show anything about him to the reader #shortcut #efficientwriting. The reader will know from all the other copy and paste novels who use Grandpa. Teacher - angry and hates MC. Why? Who cares we need people in authority to be irredeemable illogical antagonists so the hero MC can make them look like fools in a few chapters. Flow - 5/5 The flow is excellent. I enjoyed reading this exposition. The Authors note explaining the yet to be introduced system was perfect. Why let the story show the system. Just tell the reader and yeah Authors note works perfectly. Btw When does the story start?

6yr
mercifuljourney
mercifuljourneyLv10

The op name and the op summary got me.🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

6yr
RiskyA
RiskyALv7

Mooooorreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee V ^ V ¥ 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥

6yr
Related Stories

What?! I am the Reincarnation of the Magi King?!

Currently injured. As soon as i can use my arms again i shall resume writing. *Update: have two slipped discs with one pressing on my nerve root as well as arthritis. Will require surgery. Surgery March 12th* It’s Dax’s first year at the prestigious Excelsior Academy and he is excited to attend. As is the tradition of the school every student that attends are granted nanites that will give them access to a vast network of strength and strange abilities that they could only dream of before. However, the gifting of these nanites to Dax does not go well, and he is placed in the lowest class. His happy day was ruined, not to mention his future. The bottom class of the academy is expelled at the end of the year. Will Dax be able to get enough points for his class to stay secure? Or will he find a way to exit a doomed class? Do his constant nightmares have anything to do with his current problems? Well of course they do you read the title. Shouldn’t be hard to piece two and two together at this point. So go read. This is a tale of an overpowered magic user reborn into a realm of science and technology. Although it is the same fantasy world, he once lived… Just far into the future. Please vote with your powerstones! This work is entered into the fantasy carnival and needs your support!

Alphachoas · Action
5.0
184 Chs

Apocalypse Cheater

What would happen if a man happened to travel back into the past where he can undo his mistakes and regret? Near in the future, an unknown being appeared and claimed that a new reality shall be opened up for humans to enter, creating havoc across the world. However, what they didn't know is that 10 years later, monsters from the unknown void broke through the world and caused massive destruction. The powers obtained from that reality can be brought out to the real world, hence, Earth could defend itself from these monsters. However, another 10 years later, Daniel Bell has been killed by a bunch of monsters, and suddenly he has travelled back to the past. Is this a fortunate outcome or will history repeat itself? Only the future can tell. (This novel contains tags that may not be to your liking specifically Yandere, milf, overpowered mc, Incest) (https://discord.gg/yqK3JrS4jX)

ADboy245 · Action
3.8
264 Chs

Genius Grandson of the Loan Shark King

Kim Mu-hyuk, the grandson of the Loan Shark King Cheon Tae-san, whom even the wealthy elites of South Korea bowed to, strives to be recognized as a member of the Cheon Family. Despite his efforts, Mu-Hyuk is betrayed and killed by his uncles in a vicious struggle over his grandfather’s inheritance. However, instead of dying, he wakes up in the 1990’s, with a second chance to rewrite his fate. Determined to prevent the death of his grandmother, who raised him, and reclaim the legacy of the Cheon family, Mu-hyuk sets out to preserve his severed friendships and take brutal revenge on his uncles and anyone else who stands in his way. Will Kim Mu-hyuk, the grandson of the loan shark king be able to ascend to the throne of the ruthless Loan Shark Empire, feared by even gangsters?

Dhe_0919 · Action
Not enough ratings
840 Chs

Rubik’s Man: I’m Rich & You’re Dead

Smoke Pac, a top gangster of Clown City fell to the lower rung of the criminal ladder and became a sewage rat left for dead. He was betrayed and brutally killed by his former mafia associates. During his death, he accidentally awakened the mysterious powers of the Rubik's Cube System. With his new lease on life and newfound powers, he vowed to regain his title as number one Crime Lord of Clown City while relishing in his sweet-sweet revenge. Authors Note: Feel free to share your feedback, drop a comment, leave a review and big thanks to everyone who supports this story. Here are my other books on Webnovel: 1. The Jamaican Blur: Island Superheroes! [ https://www.webnovel.com/book/the-jamaican-blur-island-superheroes!_27279642105011205 ] AuthorsDread Contacts: https://linktr.ee/authorsdread https://www.patreon.com/AuthorsDread Twitter: https://twitter.com/Authors_Dread Discord: https://discord.gg/MMqjgX4dRd

AuthorsDread · Action
Not enough ratings
147 Chs

The Awakening of the Tarantula Emperor

Aren was born without emotions. He couldn’t feel happiness, sadness, or even loneliness. He was unable to connect with his family or surroundings; the world always felt distant to him. Yet this never seemed like a deficiency to him, because he had no concept of what it meant to feel. Over time, he grew accustomed to living with this emptiness, relying solely on his intellect to understand the emotions of others. But then, a fight changed everything. For the first time, Aren felt emotions—pleasure, wildness, and a torrent of complex feelings that made time seem to slow down. This experience both shocked and captivated him. Somehow, this new discovery felt like it had completed a missing part of him. Gradually, Aren began to realize that what had blocked his emotions was, in fact, a unique ability within himself. But what would learning to control this ability bring him? What path would he be led down as he uncovered emotions he had never experienced before?

Therionas · Action
Not enough ratings
72 Chs

Abyss Draconis

"Born of Dragons, yet cursed by the Abyss—a king of two dooms." ---- Ryuk Knull was nothing—just another powerless human in a world ruled by Titans, Vampires, and Fallen Angels. Until the Knulls came and took the only family he had left. On the brink of death, he awakened the Draconic Pets Evolution System—a power that doesn’t just tame beasts but binds them to his very soul. With it, mere monsters become apex predators. And Ryuk? He is their master. But power alone is not enough. He is a fusion of the most hated and the most divine—A being that should not exist. The abyss whispers. The dragons call. And when he rises—none will be spared. This is the Tale of the Abyssbourne Draconis! ========== Join the Discord for character arts and talk with the author: https://discord.gg/gTkMp93wxW

SnowySmoos · Action
5.0
343 Chs
Login