In Marvel with a Star Wars System

A young man with brown hair and blue eyes in a t-shirt and jean shorts slams his fist on the armrest of his theatre seat. 

"How dare they!"

"Come on, it wasn't that bad," another young man with black hair and dark skin, wearing a t-shirt and jeans laughs. 

"Not that bad? Not that bad? C'mon Dylan, it's an abomination. It was bad enough when they killed Han Solo in the last movie, but this? Luke Skywalker is drinking raw milk from that thing, throwing away his lightsaber, and then turning into Asgardian space dust at the end!

Who are these new characters? I liked Po and Finn...at least until this movie. What is he, Rey's simp? They did the man wrong, and speaking of which --"

"Okay, Ethan, think before you complete the next sentence." Dylan leaned in close to his friend, "Blue and pink-haired Imperials surround us," Dylan whispered. He laughed as his friend looked around and noticed that his friend wasn't lying. He managed a weak smile at the ladies(?)

"I'm just saying, this is not the Star Wars of my childhood. Even the prequels are better than this," Ethan said.

"Hey, you love the prequels!" Dylan was offended.

"I loved the prequels when I was a kid, I mean, I still like Revenge of the Sith, but it's the original trilogy that's the best," Ethan's face assumed a dream-like look before returning to normal. "That's beside the point, what I'm saying is, and it breaks my heart to say this." Ethan looked pained and sad. 

"What?" Dylan saw Ethan and knew this wasn't him being overly dramatic, there was something serious about his friend. Dylan jumped a little when Ethan leaped from his seat and pointed at the screen and its rolling credits.

"I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE STAR WARS!" Ethan panted and left the theatre while Dylan was so shocked that he couldn't move. 

Dylan snapped out of his shock and quickly followed his friend. It was amazing how fast Ethan could move when he wanted to. 

Running up to his friend, Dylan finally caught up to Ethan, "You don't mean that Buddy."

"Mean it?" Ethan stopped suddenly a swiftly turned to his friend, "Of course I mean it! Disney has betrayed us! Lucas must have been duped, or so hurt by the fans. You know, we fans were pretty hard on him for the prequels. I still regret how Ahmed Best was treated. Sure Jar Jar was an annoying character, but Ahmed isn't Jar Jar, and he did a really good job at being annoying. 

That's beside the point! The travesty we witnessed is as much the fault of Disney which is going insane, Lucas, and us, the fans. How can I hope that the franchise can survive? SIIIiiiighhhh..." Ethan's body relaxed and he bent his head back looking at the sky before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. 

"There's no saving Star Wars." Ethan looked down and shook his head. He took in a deep breath and placed his hand on Dylan's shoulder, "My heart is broken, my friend. It's worse than when I found out Princess Leah is my Grandmother's age."

"Don't you have any real-life examples," Dylan asked. "Well, the way you talk sometimes someone might get the idea that made-up things are the only thing capable of having an emotional impact on you," Dylan smiled. 

Ethan's eyes squinted as if he were trying to use heat vision to slice through him. After a minute of getting the laser eyes to stare, Ethan retracted his hand before letting out another breath, "You are right my friend. Let me think about a real-life example." Ethan pondered lifting his right index finger to his chin and bending it into the shape of a question mark. 

"Do you remember Jennifer Martha Berry?" Ethan asked Dylan.

"The tall one or the short one?" Ethan asked.

"Both, I suppose things worked out about the same with me and them. Who could predict that I would have two girls in my class with the same names, but unrelated to one another, there was one thing they had in common. Each of them captured my heart, on separate occasions. 

I don't know if it was because I was young, or that they had the same name and it confused me, but it doesn't matter." Ethan looked solemnly at Dylan. "They both broke my heart. I asked Jennifer Martha Berry the Shorter out on a date, but she made something up about her Dad not letting her go to the mall by herself. 

As for Jennifer Martha Berry the Taller, I asked her out and she told me that although I am handsome, I could never reach heights equal to her own. Ruthless creatures, women! I will tell you right now, brother Dylan, the pain I felt from them heartlessly ripping out my achy breaky heart is only one-thousandth the pain I feel right now. Star Wars broke my heart like no one ever has." Ethan turned and placed his balled-up hands behind his back as he began to swift walk again. 

Dylan's mind finally freed itself from Ethan's hypnotic nonsense and he was once more chasing his friend. 

"Wait, Ethan, Jennifer the Shorter, didn't you ask her out in the second grade, and Jennifer the Taller, that was like third grade. Plus, I've never understood how you planned to take her on a date. Were you going to pick her up on your bicycle and pedal her over there?" Dylan asked genuinely confused.

Ethan cast his eyes to the side and looked at his friend, "You're focusing on the wrong details, the point is how heartbroken I was. I've never asked out another girl since."

"That's because you just analyze the girls around you, but never ask them out. I happen to know that several girls would love to go out with you," Dylan said.

"Standards, Dylan, Standards! As far as my analysis of women goes, it is important to analyze, study, and formulate a plan. If it's possible to create a situation where you can spend time with one another in a group setting, then you can observe the potential prey."

"You know my sister likes you," Dylan began.

"She's too young.

"She's only a year younger."

"Yet that year creates an unbridgable chasm."

"So I should tell her to give up and find someone else?"

"For the sake of our friendship, I'm willing to wait a couple of more years. I've always thought being brother-in-laws would be a way to level up our relationship."

"You just want to see if she gets cuter!" Dylan finished his friend's thought. 

"Dylan, this is not about your sister or the Jennifers, or about you an me. This is about Star Wars, the Force is no longer with the franchise, and neither am I." Ethan stopped and looked slightly up as a gentle wind blew his hair. 

"I don't think this is where we parked the car," Ethan turned around heading to another parking lot. Dylan followed his friend while shaking his head, "So dramatic."