This book helps you in understanding your skin and getting to know what it needs!

Hi lovely readers! Welcome back. In the last chapter, I talked about my personal experiences and tips I can give you based on them. However, a huge part of my self care is inspired by and guided by a lot of youtube videos. I am very picky with who and what content I choose to trust so I can ensure that the youtube videos I am sharing are helpful, insightful, and practical. 💋

1. Aly Art posts a lot of videos about the Kibbe body types and faces. Basically, it's not your conventional face shape categories, but looks at bone structure, fleshiness, and overall vibe. She has recently started a series for makeup for the body types. 
Faces for the body types: https://youtu.be/lbN2pRNYQkU

2. All of Alexandra's Girly Talk's videos had been very helpful for me. I see most her tips coming in handy when I go into my twenties, but her shopping tips have helped me so much in terms of saving money and space in my closet. Her tips are more towards classy and womanly vibes. 
The art of sexy: https://youtu.be/6tQagifnBLY

3. Gabby Whited has recently uploaded a girl talk series: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSZlxO0pPPs36qMcmkX3tEU6sgLo5E4MF
I love her workout videos too. They're very quick, so it's suitable for a busy IB student like me, and they're very effective too. I see results in a couple of days (seriously!) 

4. Cooking for yourself is a huge part of self care, especially for me. A wholesome meal is always better than junk food for improving my mood, and the sense of accomplishment I get from whipping up a good meal is UGH. Also, it's always heartwarming to cook for your loved ones. I love watching simple videos such as One Meal A Day's videos. They're less than 10 minutes, use simple but nutritious ingredients, and is definitely tasty. 
Omurice: https://youtu.be/V9a7AL_6Od0

5. If you are already deep into self care and skincare, then you might find yourself overwhelmed with products and hypes. Sometimes it's best to clean out and have a minimal routine. 
Skincare you don't need: https://youtu.be/QMJiRhb6fzE
If you guys want to know about my personal skincare routine and tips, please comment to let me know! 

6. Wishtrend TV has a series called Teen Beauty Bible, which uploads videos about mainly skincare for teens. 
Is my skin dry or dehydrated?: https://youtu.be/O0yeS5GlkLA

7. I love all the videos from Charisma On Command. A big part of glowing up and having a healthy social life is having charisma and EQ. It also breaks down the mannerisms and charisma of celebrities and movie characters. Very straightforward and we'll explained. 
How to turn anxiety into charisma: https://youtu.be/xm100J0nDy8

8. I really like Ladies First's videos, but they might not be that useful for people who don't live in Singapore, since it's a Singaporean channel. But one particular video is really catered for teens and pre-teens universally and I would like to share it with you guys. The title might is a little misleading but it is a very chill and real talk video. 
Puberty hacks: https://youtu.be/7t-KRoD8h3U

9. I don't know how many of my readers take IB in high school, but I know the feeling of helplessness and stress that an IB student can have. I found this channel called IB Like Cole, and he gives tips, delivered on a mini whiteboard and a voice over. 
Never do this while studying for IB exams: https://youtu.be/VWx72PLatNQ

10. 7 years ago, Lisa Eldridge uploaded a gem on youtube talking about makeup bag essentials. The video is 14 minutes long but it is worth watching. She explains how to choose your everyday makeup depending on your needs. This has helped me so much in decision making and minimising money wasted on makeup I won't use. 
Makeup essentials tutorial: https://youtu.be/93KVXEjUX20

Phew! That's it for now. I spent 3 hours looking through my watch history for compile this list. Hope you took some of these tips home and see you next time! 💖

By the recommendation of my Husband I started my Youtube channel, featuring Natural Hair Care for women with 4c hair and Bueaty Tips. Helping women to love themselves, naturally being themselves.
Even though this came though my self realization, I have noticed that there are millions of women worldwide who are suffering from self depridation, afraid to show themselves for who they really are, not wanting to push through the cacoon and become their beautiful selves.
With this I have decided to share my story, to help these women who are beaten down by society, stereotype and sometimes themselves. To build up the confidence to break through whatever rough patches they are facing. 
This how I found myself.......By breaking through the stereotype of what society thought of me and the stigma that I held my self under. I became trainable and started learning new things about building myself without borrowing from someone's personality.
This made me realize that I started loving myself more and I was able to give advice to other women on how to love themselves. 
Of all my mother's childern "I love me the most"

"Self love is the greatest love, only by loving yourself can you truly love the ones around you".

My book is about my self discovery and how the  reality of my present self came to realization, waking me from my slumber.

a message popped up from an unknown number.

'Helppp Masterrr!' was stated on the message.

"Master? this was probably Jae...but how? and help? with what?" I'm so confused right now.

'Why?' I replied to his message but he didn't respond.

I'm starting to lose my patience and I'm starting to panic.

I took a deep breath to calm myself and patiently wait for more seconds.

then a call from him came.

'Ringggg!'

"Shin...help me"

"What's happening? are you ok? where are you?" I asked in frustration.

"I'm fine, I just need your tip for a perfect look on dates" he said with a chuckle.

His voice on a call soothes me, it was deep yet calming. His chuckle sounds very cute.

"Date?" I asked the obvious. Gosh, is he serious?!

I almost had a heart attack when he said he needed help yet he just need some fashion tips?!

I can't process what he just said...I  feel my nerves being triggered and I'm about to burst in anger.

Be calm self...

"Why can't you be straight forward? Why did you make me feel nervous and YOU JUST NEED SOME FASHION TIPS ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR ON DATES?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOU'RE MIND?!" and there you go, I bursted out and now panting at my sudden burst.

"Whoahh, calm down master, I didn't mean to make you nervous and I'm glad you're concern about me" he replied.

"Gosh don't yo-" He cuts me off.

"Concern, maybe you're secretly in love with me!"He chuckled.

I felt my cheeks went hot from blushing.

"What?! No way!" I aggressively denied.

"Why so defensive? Don't worry master, I'm not dating anyone" He's driving me mad...

"I SAID I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!" I can't take it anymore so I ended the call immediately.

We just became friends, how could I be in love with him all of a sudden?

I'm sure I'm not in love with him!

He's not dating anyone? Does it look like I care?!

But why is he asking me some fashion tips for dates?

Liar!

Why do I even care?

Well I don't, do I?

Gosh I should just sleep!

'ding!' a message from him popped up.

'Master, I was just kidding...About the fashion tips hehe, can you help me?'

I replied, 'you can browse on the internet'

'should I be casual or formal? I trust your judgement, no need to search on the internet ;)' he replied instantly.

'Well, it depends on who you're going to date with. But I prefer casual, that way I can see the way he dress up as himself and that way he'll feel very comfortable.' I replied.

'Alright, Thank you master ;)' he replied back.


-


I was walking alone in a grand hallway. My eyes keeps wandering around as if I'm lost.

'creak!' a door suddenly opened on the corner of this hallway.

A ray of light passing through the door, a figure of a person is vivid, I ran through it and saw Ji-ho.

He was standing with his godlike features, face stoic yet alluring.

He held my chin and put a hand at the back of my waist and pulled me closer.

His reddish lips was attractive. I was hypnotized and I leaned forward holding his face.

I swear, I saw him smirk at my sudden move but went stoic instantly.

And there you go, we kissed passionately and slowly.

His minty-

'Ringgg!'

My alarm clock rang and gosh I still feel sleepy-

Who is Ji-ho?!

I unconciously touched my lips.

"I can't believe I kissed a stranger!"

'Arghhh!' I shouted out of frustration.

"But I just woke up? It's just a dream...IT'S JUST A DREAM!" I felt relieve after realizing it's just a dream.

Gosh, I'm so dumb HAHAHAHA

I laughed at my foolishness.

Time to prepare for school!

BTW, I go to Whateva' International School.

Here's the story why it's named Whateva' HAHAHAHAHAHA

It was said that when they built the school, the owner couldn't think of a great school name and he's way too lazy to think about it.

So the owner came up with the name Whateva'.

He said, 'that way it'll be unique and it'll make some students day great'

After taking a bath, I wore my uniform of course then put some tint pn my lips and charannn!

It's time for breakfast!

"Good Morninggg!" I greeted them in a jolly tone.

"What are you so happy about?" Hyun ki asked annoyed at my high pitch tone.

"Bleee!" I replied with my tongue strung out.

"immature tsk." Did he just call me immature?

'Calm down self, don't let your crazy brother ruin your day'

"Do you two want to eat or not?" dad said in a very strict tone.

My brother glated at me with daggers on his eyes, so I glared back with the same intensity.

Gosh, why is everyone mad? haystttt.

We ate our breakfast peacefully and I went to school after.

-

"Hi Master! I appreciate that you're in love with me 'cause I know I'm so handsome but I only want to be your friend, I hope you're okay with that?" Jae the crazy narcissistic assuming burp boy.

"I'm not in love with you, so shut up!" I said bluntly.

"Don't hide it, it's fine if you tell me the truth. I know that you're in love with me" He's not making me kill him, is he?

I ignored him and just walk straight to our classroom.

"Shin is in love with meee~" he sang then he chuckled after.

"By the way master, I have something to tell you!"

I ignored him still.


"Yah! Masteeerrrr! please don't ignore me!" He said pouting.


I still ignored him.


Hmp! 

You're gonna freeze with my coldness.

Gosh, I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM!

"Master, there's something I want to tell you..." he said dramatically a blush was vivid on his cheeks.

"What now?!" I said, still mad.

"I li...

to be continued

Do dreams come true? She kept on wondering yet she know it's impossible. There's this vivid face of a man whom she
feels a great spark with. Everything was romantic when she's with him. Clearly, she feels safe and obviously in love.
Cherishing every moment with him in a big castle where she is the queen and he is the king, or maybe they were opposite
and differ from each other yet slowly, they'll end up together and end their waging war. Sounds very cliche but for her, it's
dainty. Their love story seems to be ethereal but everything is just a part of her dreams. Would they ever come true? Is he
even existing? What if he is? Will they have the same story and probably end up together or this is a tragedy wherein
everything doesn't fall into their places? or maybe she's meant for her newly friend who calls her master?

The Beginner's Guide to Continuous Self-Improvement
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What is Self-Improvement?
Let's define self-improvement. The definition of self-improvement is pretty self-explanatory: Self-improvement is the improvement of one's knowledge, status, or character by one's own efforts. It's the quest to make ourselves better in any and every facet of life.
Best Self-Improvement Articles to Start With
Self-improvement almost always starts with self-awareness and the ability to transform your habits. If you're serious about transforming your life and improving yourself, you should start with these two articles:
How to Stop Lying to Ourselves: A Call for Self-Awareness: If you're serious about getting better at something, then one of the first steps is to know—in black-and-white terms—where you stand. You need self-awareness before you can achieve self-improvement.
Forget About Setting Goals. Focus on This Instead: For most of us, the path to self-improvement starts by setting a specific and actionable goal. What I'm starting to realize, however, is that when it comes to actually getting things done and making progress in the areas that are important to you, there is a much better way to do things. It all comes down to the difference between goals and systems.
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I discuss almost every aspect of smart, science-backed self-improvement on this website. You can explore some of the sub-topics of self-improvement with the links below:
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Manual for Living by Epictetus
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If Nothing Changes, Nothing Is Going to Change
Olympic Medalist Dick Fosbury and the Power of Being Unconventional
What Happens When You Believe You're Taking Steroids
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  "Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a type of death." – Anais Nin
Our Self Help, Self Improvement, and Inspirational Articles include a variety of authors who'd love to help you get the most out of life and the most out of yourself.
Self Help Articles by Joi Sigers, Self Help Daily
"Different Paths in the Self Help Industry"
The Self Help industry has reached such monstrous proportions that it's a wonder the world can even contain it. The public is ravenous for information, so book publishers turn the books out by the thousands. Personally, I think this says a lot of positive things about our society… (Continue reading Different Paths in the Self Help Industry)
"How to Blow the Blues Away"
Around this time of year, you can find endless charts and articles comparing colds and flu. Is it a cold or is it the Flu? The symptoms of each are then compared, with the hope that the reader will pinpoint what's making them sick, then be able to brag to their family that they either have the "worst cold ever" or the "most severe flu known to man…"  (Continue reading How to Blow the Blues Away)
"Reasons are the Building Blocks to a Better Life"
They say that if you have enough reasons you can do anything. So, unless I miss my guess, if we want to build a better life for ourselves, that makes REASONS the building blocks we'll need for our project. Even those of us without any architectural expertise know there's no such thing as building from the top/down, we have to start at the bottom with our blocks. More to the point – with our reasons…  (Continue reading this Reasons are the Building Blocks to a Better Life)


Marguerite is oblivious as she folds Arthmael's body into beautiful silhouettes. Following the familiar choreography, she dances relentlessly.

Grand Jete! Penche! followed by a series of graceful pas de chats. All concatenated in front of the enthralled emperor.

When the music reaches the outro in a full stop, Marguerite falls gracefully on the floor in a pose. She stays there and waits for the king to tell her she can leave.

She stays on the ground for a long time but hears nothing from him. Wondering if she did anything wrong, she wants to lift her head to look at the king's face, but quickly remembers the warning he gave her. If she disrespects him any further, who knows what he might do to her.

She suddenly feels her chin being lifted, her eyes meet the hazels of Demian. She forgets to breathe and falls from her pose onto the floor. She doesn't have time to regain her senses before two strong arms lift her off the floor.

She is about to question him on his weird behaviour when her mouth is suddenly covered by his in a kiss.

-------------------------------------------------
Marguerite is very talented. She has a beautiful voice, a great passion for music and various talents in the arts. Unfortunately, her bright future gets compromised when she is forced to leave her world to fulfill the wish of someone else. Marguerite wanting to go home as soon as possible, accepts. However things turn out quite unexpected for her.

The cover belongs to the rightful owner. If you are the owner of the art and want me to take it down, DM me on discord burlesque_dancer#2837

This song is for my novel "Darling In the FranXX"


      ⚫Come to me, as our inhibitions crumble


Please don't fear me.


The flightless bird dreams of a sky. Whose color blends into the wrong shade of red.

I tried to block out the banging on my door..


Are you banging on it? or is it someone else?


    Will your lips taste the kiss of death?


Darling, our destiny courses through our veins..


A change in sweeping across the world.... Is it love?


I want us to come together more than anyone, Darling.


Please don't fear me.


Kiss me now!


Won't you come my way?


My self-restrain is crumbling..


It's just me..


So don't you be afraid.


A flightless bird was dreaming


That it could touch the sky... But that blue. color's changing.


To a bright shade of red.


SOMEBODY'S....knocking on my door...


I cover my ears at the sound.


Could it be you I'm waiting for..

Or is it someone else?


      Will your lips taste the kiss of death?


DARLING DESTINY....


is racing through me body... world in motion finally.


Could this be Love?


Let me melt away... In your embrace my Darling.


It's just me...  So don't you be afraid.


Kiss me now!


I just want a taste...


I'm sorry if That's strange.


But it takes two to find LOVE!



And to Kindle that FLAME.


We hold each other close to heal.


All of there scars fresh in our hearts...


And if you let me I will steal.


The breath left upon your lips.


       Will your lips taste the kiss of death?



Darling my heartbeat... Is racing through my body.


Oh this love is melting me... But I don't mind.



Won't you come my way?

My self restrain is crumbling.


It's just me... So don't you be afraid.


Kiss me now my love!


I came close to facing... My own end.



But it was a taste of you...


That led me back instead.



   DID YOUR LIPS TASTE THE KISS OF DEATH?


DARLING DESTINY.... IS RACING THROUGH MY BODY


WORLD IN MOTION FINALLY!


COULD THIS BE LOVE?


LET ME MELT AWAY.... IN YOUR EMBRACE MY DARLING. 


It's just me...


So don't fear me.


Let me near...


So I can have a taste.


         JUST KISS ME NOW!



Come over here beside me. My self-control collapse.



Please don't fear me.




A flightless bird dreamed of the sky...



The color mixing there are a different kind of red.



I covered my ears from the sound of knocking of the door...



Is it you who's knocking? 



Or is it someone else?



   
      Will your lips taste the Kiss of Death?




Darling, my fate runs through my veins.



As this world starts to move..... is it love?



I want to blend with you more than anyone, darling.



So, please, don't fear me.




Kiss me now!




I want to taste you.... Does that make me weird?



It's something you can't feel on your own.


We embrace each other to Keep our wounds sealed. 


So I'll seal Your breath with my lips.


   Will your lips taste the of kiss of Death?



DARLING, MY HEARTBEAT IS POUNDING TO THE TIPS OF MY FINGERS...


WHAT IS THIS MELTING FEELING...?


COME OVER HERE BESIDES ME. 


MY SELF-CONTROL COLLAPSES.


PLEASE DON'T FEAR ME!


KISS ME NOW MY LOVE!


I felt something alike with the moment of death while tasting you.


    Did your lips taste the Kiss of Death?


Darling, my fate runs through my veins.


As this world starts to move.... Is it love?



I want to blend with you than anyone, darling.


So, please, don't fear me.


Let me have a taste of you.


Kiss me now!

They dream of one day flying into the endless sky, even though they are painfully aware of how far away the sky is beyond the glass that blocks their flight.


In a distant future, humanity has been driven to near extinction by giant beasts known as KALAXOUR forcing the surviving humans to take refuge in massive fortress cities called plantation. Within the city were pilot quarters called Mistilteninn, otherwise known as the 'Birdcage'. That is where the children lived... Not knowing anything of the outside world. 

Childrens raised here are parasites and are trained to pilot giant mecha's known as FranXX, the only weapon known to be affective againts tje Kalaxours, in boy-girl pairs, breds for the sole purpose of piloting theae machines, these childrens from the squad know nothing about the outside world and are only ae to prove their existence by depending their race.

Hiro, an aspiring franXX pilot, had lost his motivation and self confidence after failing an aptitude test, skipping out on hia class graduation ceremony, Hiro retreats to a forest lake where he encounters a mysterious girl with two horns growing out of her head. She introudes herself by her codename Zero Two which is known to belong to an infamous franXX pilot, known as the "Partner Killer". Before Hiro can digest the encounter the plantation is rocked by a sudden Kalaxour attack. Zero Two engages the creature in her franXX but it is heavily damaged in the skirmishes and crashes near Hiro. Finding her partner dead Zero Teo invites Hiro th pilot tje mecha with her and the duo easily defeats the Kalaxour in the ensuing fight with a new partner by his side, Hiro had been given a chance at redemption for his past failure. But at what cost?

The two combines together, defeating the Kalaxour in a girl-boy pair, transforming the franXX into it's true form known as "Strelizia". Soon Zero Two joins the squad with Hiro, as her partner. The runors goes like Zero Two as a partner killer and no one can pilot the franXX sith jer more than three times. However, Hiro survives the third round with Zero Two, astonishing others. Zero Two also killed her parents and her partners. She tries to kill her partner to check the capability of her partner. If the person is capable enough to survive sith her till the third round, the peraon passes her test and the person can be her partner. However, Zero Two only pilots the franXX with Hiro, calling him as her "darling". 

She joined them as in to reunite with her childhood "Darling" and as they promised to meet when they'll get together in the future. While when there's a sudden attack from a giant kalaxour and Zero Two reaches to fight with it on her own. Hiro was almsot killed by her but using her blood he catches up with her and they both fight the Kalaxour while the other children's prayed for Hiro for his safety as Zero Two told them to pray for her Darling.

I want to get into the topic of self love today. If you have any tips please share!Thank you! And make sure to leave a comment below on the next topic you would like to discuss!

When you wake up in the morning, what's your purpose? What is the first thing you think about, why do you get out of bed? I get out of bed because I want to experience all the wonders and joy the day will bring me. But if you get out of bed and think "oh no, another day." You better change your mindset, because this mindset could lead to depression or anxiety. Here are some ways to fix that. 
Before you go to sleep for the night make a list of thing you need or want to get done. Chores you've been putting off or crafts you've been wanting to make. You could even put down a new hobby you would like to start or a hobby you would like to get into. Another thing you could do is during a hard stressful day take 20 or more minutes and get in your car turn the radio on or turn on Spotify and jam out. Let loose, sing and dance to the music. If you don't have a car go outside and take a walk or go for a run. And lastly make a day to treat yourself, go to the salon, get your nails done, go on a shopping spree. Do something you think is fun and exciting. Doing any of those methods by yourself or with a friend is going to increase your happiness and it's going to motivate you to love your life. 
If you have body image issues one way that could help is looking in the mirror and point out all the things you like about yourself. Say two or three things everyday and you might see improvements. Change your roll models, we all have goals we would like to achieve and those are good. But if you start not liking yourself because of your favorite Instagram influencer then that's an issue. And lastly a method that might help is trying to achieve what you think is an ideal body but healthily. If you want to lose a little weight start exercising and eating healthier. If you want to gain a little weight start by eating bigger portions or eating more of something that your body might lacks like protein. - luv the girl who loves you 😁

These are all methods that have helped me in my like with body issues and self love. So if you have any critiques or want to add to the list please comment!!! Make sure to suggest the next topic in the comments below!

Every week I create short 3-4 chapter series’s that will tell short stories with tragic endings.

Screaming I wake up tears running down my face afraid and shaking. My heart Pounds against my tender ribs causing my ears to throb. Realizing I am alone. Gripped by panic and fear. I pull my self from the bed. My legs fold underneath me causing me to crash harshly to the floor. Hitting full force I cry out and writhe in pain on the floor. Pulling the wires and leads off my body. I strip the Iv from my arm. Trying to pull my self from the floor my body sinks in to a heap. Crying in pain a frustration.  I lay on the floor. Smelling the light scent of pears. I close my eyes and whimper softly " Shadow." Crying As my body melts in to the floor unable to move. The sensation of hands sliding under me gently lifting me. Causes me to stop crying. Still shaking and gasping. I open my eyes and see a figure in all black with its arms gently wrapped around me. Reaching up I try to pull the black cloth that covered its face. Gently grabbing my wrist stoping me it shakes its head. Looking up at me directly in the eyes. I am stunned by a familiar set of emerald green eyes. " Shadow ..." I gasp softly as my breath catches in my chest as tears roll down my face. Reaching up gently this time. I slide my finger slowly under the fabric. Gently touching its lips with my finger tips. 

Feeling the warmth as they softly quiver against my fingers. Slowly I run my finger tips over its face. Suddenly aware of its arms wrapped around me tightly. I pause realizing I wasn't afraid. I felt warm and safe strangely connected. Looking up I catch those beautiful emerald eyes looking at me tenderly. Suddenly unable to to stop my self. I lift the fabric slightly. Leaning in I kiss the softest lips that hid just underneath. Kissing softly and gently my lips tingled. I softly moved my lips against its. I felt it's tongue gently meet and slide against mine. I feel it gently kiss me back. My body ignited i could feel my insides beginning to burn. As my soul felt like it would burst out of my chest. I moan softly as my body gives in to the moment. I pulled it towards me as it stopped me and gently begin to pull a way. Letting the fabric fall back in place. Dizzy as i gasp for air softly.  I reach up running my hands up it's sides. Then slowly across its chest. Stopping suddenly my hands shudder. I realize I am groping two amazingly prefect round breasts. Pausing I look at her eyes. I slowly snake my arm around her. Gripping her tightly I whisper " Please stay with me." Lifting me from the floor she gently presses her forehead to mine. " In time little dove right now you rest." Feeling a cold icy sensation spread through my veins I look at her eyes " Shadow please I .....need you." sinking to the bed I begin to slip under. I hear Shadow whisper softly " Rest my Dove. I still have unfinished business." 

My body woke me aching and dipped in pain causing me to moan softly. Started a bit I sigh softly realizing. I am back in the bed and attached like a puppet to the machines around me. Turing my head I look for Lora. " Lora..." I weakly cry out. Feeling her hands on my other shoulder. I shudder softly as she gently touches me. I calm down and sink in to the bed. " Its ok Beverly relax." Lora says gently urging me to relax. 

Looking around I begin to question if what happed was a dream. Seeing me looking around intently. Lora breaks the silence " What's the matter?" Lora asks gently prodding me. I sigh and answer " I had a dream I guess" pausing "I dreamed I fell out of bed and all of this." Pointing at the wires and Iv. "Was ripped out." I say softly waiting for her response. She sighs " Must have been a dream I would definitely noticed if you took all this off." Lora answers softly. Sighing I lay back. Thinking to my self as I sink in to the bed. So it's a dream is Shadow a woman? Or I just want it to be? Groaning softly in frustration. I puff out a blast of air from my lips. " Ok what is it ." Lora asks looking at me with her eye brow cocked. " Ughh  it's stupid" I moan as I hide my face in my hands. " What tell me ." She nudges me to go on. "Ok fine." I say softly as I begin to tell her about my dream. 


" I dreamed that I woke from a nightmare. I was all alone and when I tried to get up. I fell to the floor. Shadow appeared out of no where. Calmed me  picked me up putting me back in bed. I then reached up and kissed Shadow." Sighing I left out the fondling her breasts part. If it was a dream no need to embarrass my self anymore than I already had. "Really."  She said softly as huge grin slid across her face. She asks " So what was it like?" Looking at her I sink in to the bed. " It doesn't matter I wasn't real." 

Sighing I look at her and say " It was amazing by far the best kiss I have ever had." Sighing I blush " I have kissed a lot of people and nothing comes close to...." Felling my heart twist in my chest I moan softly " It felt so real." I curl up and begin to sob softly in to my pillow. Tears fall one after the other soaking my pillow until my body finally fails me. I drift to sleep softly sobbing exhausted and whimpering. 

Walking up I feel my lips tingle as I replay the kiss from my dream. Moaning I turn looking for Lora. " Ughhh " I grunt trying to move in the bed. Reaching and sliding her hands under me Lora helps me shift. Breathing raggedly I push back the pain. She helps me sit up a little. Laying my head on her shoulder. I freeze and whisper " I think my heart is falling in love or i am kissing my mind." Lora gently peels me off of her. Looking at me gasps and says " Ohh God your falling for Shadow." Sinking in to the bed I moan loudly " I know it's stupid." As I begin to cry softly she comforted me. 

She wiped my tears and replied softly. " It's not stupid if your heart feels it then it's real." Looking at her I sigh " What if Shadow doesn't feel the same about me." I ask softly. She laughs looking around and smiles. " All of this for you. " She asks smiling softly. " Shadow definitely has significant feelings for you that's for sure." Smiling I look at her and say " I hope so I really want to feel those lips against mine." Smiling she looks at her laptop and then at me she whispers " Rest a little more we will try to get up and walk a bit soon." 

Cringing at the thought I try to smile. " Ok " I answer softly as my mind begins to wonder. " Can I have a note book and a pen." I ask softly. Reaching in a cabinet she pulls out a new leather bound note book and hands it to me. Opening it I find a small note inside the cover. Sliding my fingers over the tiny envelope and pop it open. The slight hint of pears whiffs thru the air " Ummm I love that smell" I whisper softly. Sliding the small note out. The same beautiful hand writing filled the small note to the edges. 

Beverly my Dove,
I have left this for Lora to give you. When you felt up to writing again. My heart prays it's soon that I get to hear your voice echo thru the halls, I crave to taste your lips against mine one more time. 

Shadow 

I put the note down and look at Lora unable to speak. " What ?" Lora asked as she moved closer. " You look like you have seen a ghost." Looking at her I say stunned " I kissed Shadow." Lora's jaw drops as she try's to process what I am trying to tell her. I hand her the note. She reads it and smiles. " Ohh girl Shadow is totally falling for you." She pokes my shoulder. Laughing softly I reply 
" I don't know... I think I am falling in love Lora." I groan softly. 

Looking at me confused she says. " It's not like that is a bad thing." Sighing softly I say " I have never been in ....love." Shocked Lora responds " What for real ?" Sighing I answer " I write and sing about it. Until now it's been mostly a concept that I try to shape to fit my desire for the moment." Groaning I look at Lora I have never felt like this. 

Smiling she laughs handing me a pen. Smiling she says softly " Then write about it... tell Shadow how you feel." Looking down at the notebook on my lap. I put the tip to the paper and my hand shakes. I write slowly my hand stops shaking. I fill several pages up with random thoughts. Laying my hand on the note book. I fall asleep exhausted.

After developing a deep friendship two women Beverly and Alice loose touch after collage. Beverly’s life has fallen apart after being kidnapped tortured and rescued by a mysterious and reclusive hero. Beverly needing an out let. Beverly pulls up the last email address she has for the one person who would understand Alice. She begins to send daily accounts of what happens to her thru her every day life. When it goes unanswered. Thinking the email is an unused account she begins to write her thoughts deepest secrets and desires. Unaware the past is going to come crashing in to her present at any moment and change everything.

After the mildly comedic incident, Meru successfully took a bath, feeling refreshed but the embarrassment she felt currently was immense. To think that at her age someone had to drag her to the bathroom to take a bath; it was, for all sense of the word, an utterly disgraceful moment of her life.

Getting out of her bathroom, she swiftly took out some clothes, slightly appealing ones, and changed her clothes. Putting on the clothes, she shyly exited her room going towards the living room, where Kyle was patiently waiting for her.

As soon as she arrived, Kyle turned his head towards her. He had already noticed her arrival even before she entered the room, mainly because she wasn't even trying to hide her presence or hush her steps as she approached the room. This hinted that she wasn't trying to hide from him anymore even subconsciously, if she did she would've hid her presence, it would've been done unintentionally, which would've made noticing her a bit harder for Kyle.

His gaze was fixed at Meru whose hair was wet and untied. This was the first time he had seen her long hair flowing freely like that. Her long slightly messy yet beautiful blonde hair was far longer than he had first estimated. It prolonged to the end of her butt covering it fully. With her hair undone and slightly flushed cheeks due to the recent bath, he had to admit, she looked far more attractive than she ever did before, it was enough to mesmerize one's eyes.

"Done bathing?"

"Mhm.." She nodded, her eyes however were positioned downwards, not daring to meet with Kyle's gaze; it was mostly because she was too embarrassed, underlying that however was the cocktail of happiness, despair, sadness and shame that she felt toward the owner of said gaze.

"Okay, then now sit down and tell me why are you avoiding me? Tell me a valid reason why? No more bulshits, only the absolute truth." He spoke sternly, directing towards her a gaze that expected to be met with its demands.

She could feel his intense gaze locking on her, she still didn't dare to look at him, currently she looked like a meek child being scolded by their guardian for doing something wrong.

Seeing her meek, fragile posture made him leak out a tired sigh. "Meru, I'm not angry with you… what the hell happened to you, you're unlike your usual self the Meru I know is a confident, strong, prideful woman, but now.. look at you? Why are you looking down like that?"

"N-no..t-this just….." She bit her lips, stuttering, too emotionally compromised to even coherently form a single sentence. She knew that he was right, she wasn't her usual self, though the reason for said situation was Kyle himself, she couldn't deny that blame lay solely on her.

"Alright, alright I won't force you okay? Geez you don't need to be so tense.. anyway for starters wanna play a game?" He suggested, said suggestion was made carefully, he knew Meru, knew of her passion and love for gaming and from that knowledge hoped that playing with him, the boy she liked will let her calm down enough so that she could at least hold some meaningful conversations with him, it would be able to break the ice and absolve this sunken atmosphere, he hoped it could, because he was running out of ideas if it didn't work.

Astonished by the unexpected and abrupt invitation, she finally drifted her gaze onto Kyle, he was smiling, ever so gently at her, like he always did whenever they conversed, a single, slightly embarrassing, thought riddled her mind. 'Ah… this man.. was he always this handsome?' 

Unknowingly her cheeks flushed and dyed itself in a pinkish hue, she agreed to his suggestion. "Okay.. let's play."

Kyle smiled, relieved that his plan was a success, Meru was able to gain some of her confidence back. She slowly moved and sat just beside him as she asked in an expectant tone. "What game are we going to play?"

He pondered for a moment before responding. "Then let's play street war."

"Okay..then let-" Kyle cut her off and added before she could finish.

"If I lose, I will do anything as long as it's within reason and my capabilities." 

"H-huh?" She was bewildered, she couldn't understand why Kyle proposed that condition.. but...for some reason she was sure that now, her desire and drive to win had shot through the roof. A burning drive to win started revolving in her eyes.

"Now, let's start, pick a character."

"O-oh! W-wait a moment." She immediately picked a character.

[ Ready Fight! ]

Kyle's character rushed toward Meru's immediately attacking her, not giving her any space to dodge, as expected it caught her off guard! It was too late for her to mitigate this situation, Kyle wasn't holding back, he immediately followed by doing a rapid attack combo, his attacks were connected, flowing from one to the other smoothly increasing the combo at a swift rate.

2

5

20

25

35 Hits!

Meru didn't even have the chance to counter attack and her character was already K.O'd!

Instead of being happy that he won, Kyle frowned. 'This...to think even her gaming skills have decreased so drastically.. if it was the usual her, she would've dodged and counter..' 

He decided to tease her, taunting her by telling that she became weak. "Hoho~ is your hand freezing? Look! You can't even hit me once! Ahahaha, so it seems I'm stronger than you now!"

His words were effective, as Meru made a pissed of expression and growled in annoyance.  "H-huh?! I wasn't even taking it seriously, it's just a handicap! You'll see in the next round I'll definitely beat you, I'm going to let you eat your words!"

Without her even noticing, she had begun to calm down, the constant tensed state she was experiencing had now lessened by a great margin.

Kyle grinned, provoking her in a playful yet challenging tone. "Is that so~? Let's see, if the great Hatenko Meru-sama is telling the truth or she's just bluffing all along.."

She gritted her teeth in annoyance, she didn't like getting provoked using her title, so she bellowed out to Kyle. "You! I'm going to beat you, stinky delivery boy! Let's start round 2!"

He smirked, and replied. "Alright."

The game resumed, in the second round Kyle used the same attack pattern from before, Meru wasn't going to make the same blunder twice and as expected flawlessly dodged every single of his attacks.

"Ahahaha! See that! I'm going to defeat you this round!" Meru, in her excitement, failed to realize that her lost confidence was slowly coming back, she was finally having fun.

Regrettably, she lost yet again. The second round victor was again Kyle and with it he had now one the first match. Meru was greatly angered at this outcome and vowed to definitely win the second match!

Alas! On the 2nd match she still lost.

3rd match, another loss.

..

..

..

The 10th match; Meru was finally able to win by fully converting back to her past self, the one hailed to be the God of Games. Her smile was beaming, glad that she was finally able to win a match; she was extremely happy, smiling and laughing cheerfully, a contrasting sight to the one she had been donning for the past few days. "Hahaha! See?! I won against you now you shall eat your own words!"

While Meru was laughing merrily at her victory she unknowingly glanced towards Kyle, she noticed that Kyle was smiling at her; it wasn't a smile of self deprecation at losing, nor a mocking or sarcastic smile, it was a gentle smile showing happiness at seeing her happy.

And at that moment she perceived that all of this was Kyle's plan. From the start, that provocation, those hateful words, that derision he showed to her was to help her regain her passion for gaming, she had angered her so that in the midst of said anger she would let loose her inhibitions and get her confidence back, to regain herself that she was slowly losing. She had understood that… 

...that It was all for her…

'Ah...this man...why? Why is he like this? It's unfair.. why do you have to be so nice and gentle to me? Why do you have to be so perfect?'

Her thoughts ran amok in her mind, thoughts revolving solely around Kyle, of how he was all she could ever ask for and in the midst of all those thoughts the thoughts regarding her own feelings became clear… just one thought mattered, she loved him.. she loved this man with all her being… every cell in her body was screaming at her these words… that she was in love with the boy named Kyle

'I see… so that's how it is.. the reason.. the reason why I was acting like that before… the reason why I was so jealous… I love him…'

She clenched onto this wonderful feeling, gathering it and in one sweep poured them into words which her whole being wanted to convey to him, she confessed. "I love you…"

"Huh?" Kyle was astonished by this out of the blue confession by Meru, he clearly heard her but he decided to play dumb.

"What did you say again? I couldn't hear you properly. " Kyle hoped, he hoped that Meru had uttered those words unknowingly, he wasn't ready for this, no boy could ever be ready for those words, not with the circumstances that revolved around Kyle.

Meru didn't want to avoid her own feelings anymore, she had by going through excruciating pain and the nigh loss of her sense of self finally encountered the answer to all her questions and she didn't want to hide these feelings, hide her resolve so she confessed again, loudly and clearly. "I said, I love you!"

Kyle lost hope, he couldn't deny it again, he would be hurting Meru if he did that. It was out of his expectations, this confession, it caught him off guard. Nevertheless, he needed to answer her, otherwise he would be a scum to leave her hanging like this when she so clearly and with conviction confessed to him, surely for a girl it was an extremely difficult thing to do.

"Meru...I-"

"Stop right there! Don't say it okay?! I definitely won't let you say it! I'm telling you I won't accept rejection, you hear me?! I won't give up until you say yes! I'm aware of the fact that you like that Tohru woman, for the most part I'm aware…. I'm aware that I'm nothing compared to her, in terms of appearance or appeal or even power, but you can't blame me for falling in love with you! It's your fault! I will definitely make you take responsibility for this! Why do you need to be so perfect, it's your fault, okay, deal with it!" She boldly uttered those shameless worse equally shamelessly. She didn't feel bad, she knew her words were genuine and real and love was war, to earn Kyle's affection she will do everything, because she realized, she won't be able to leave without him, these few days was proof enough.

Kyle was utterly flabbergasted, too speechless to say a thing, this was definitely a first for him, a cute competent girl confessing her feelings for him, he cursed himself, he hated himself so much, but he had to admit, this felt hella good.

( Esdeath "Am I a joke to you?" )

(A/N : Okay for real, he doesn't really treat Esdeath's confession as 'real'. He merely thought that it was just a childish mistake.)

He was about to respond, but a humongous shadow had dimmed all the lights of the room, a huge form appeared outside the apartment and breathed a torrent of red plasmic beams that instantly destroyed half of the entire 69th floor, making the sky visible from their room. Dust scattered everywhere blocking their vision, still the terrorizing form was still visible, its red eyes gleaming with murderous rage.

Meru was too shocked to move her body, no damage happened to her however, all of her attention now lay onto the fantasmic sight of a huge green tinted creature above her.

It was a Green Dragon! A real fucking dragon! It's deep, oddly feminine voice, boomed with a cataclysmic roar, the tone of its voice emitting murderous desires. "Bitch! I'll fucking annihilate you from existence!"

It was none other than Tohru, the true dragon of chaos. And she was out for blood….

( `END` )

https://discord.gg/NzZ98vn

Support me on Pa.treon/charlottes143

You can read chapters in Advance!

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E/N :- Hey guys, your handsome, absolutely awesome, editor here. Since Charlottes had opened up his own pa.treon I asked myself why not. So if you guys like my edits and think that it's enhancing your reader experience come to my pa.treon and give me some donations, in a more positive tone tips, in my pa.treon page; hope that you'll help this poor sod out, and elevate me from my broke status… ಥ‿ಥ

www.pat.reon.com/lonely_paradox

Thanks for the tips fams…..





~7 Chapters A Week or More~

I do not own the characters of this story except the OC.

List of Anime/Manga that I used in this Fanfic~

-The Devil Is a Part-Timer!-
-Akame Ga Kill-
-Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid-
-Dragon's Rioting-
-Isekai Shokudō-
-Kimetsu No Yaiba-
-Love Is War-
-Gate - Thus the JSDF Fought There!-
-Shelter (AMV/Anime Music Video)



~~~

Like just any other weeb that you often see on earth, the main character died in unexpected why, precisely due to fapping, and what  happened next.

He reincarnated in another world LIKE ANY OTHER FANFIC, he became the nephew of the famous Kobayashi-san.

Time skip-

At the age of 18, he worked at Mgronald and in that fateful day, he received a system, not just any system but a delivery system!

Support me on Pat.reon!

Pat.reon/charlottes143

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Commissioned By: Zimrence A.K.A (God Of Lolicon)

Art By: Yvel Draws

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