My random nonsense more accurately a collection of summaries that are nonsense

" Nọmba wo ni eyi?(What number is this?)"
This the nth time he has asked me That and my purest answer was " ...."
Silence. 
That's what I gave. Why? I don't understand shigbinka.
I think he became frustrated with this student with a brain of adie agbegbe that he is currently dealing with, when he shook his head and let out a sigh before looking at me with this face that says ' Really! What should I do to make you understand?'
" O DARA, jẹ ki a fi iwe ẹkọ silẹ fun bayi (OK, let's leave the textbook for now)" as he said that, he closed the forbidden book and moved a little bit closer to me.
' What does he want to do now?'  
" Ni akọkọ, jẹ ki a bẹrẹ pẹlu nkan ti o le nifẹ (First, let's start with something you might love.)"
Something I might love? what's that? what his he thinking?
My heart was like the storm which yemoja caused at the river banks when Orisha olokun offered to hide her from the world.
" W-what? (K-kini?)" 
""Ere kan (A game)"
"Ere? (Game?)"
He nods his head with a wide annoying smile on his usual timid face.
"Ere kan pẹlu awọn ewi ( A game with poems)"
" Awọn ewi ?( poems?)"
He repeated the same process of nodding his with that annoying smile.
He is keeping me in suspense. What's the game with poems that I might love? Or the other way round.
" Jẹ ki n kọ ọ (let me teach you)"  He took out a yellow pencil and a little cardboard book from his bag " Jẹ ki a ṣere  ( Let's play)"
He scribbled sensible nonsense on the book which took him forever to stop drawing cursive jargons that is barely legible to read "Jẹ ki n kọ ọ ( let me teach you)" and with that said he put the pencil behind his antenna-like ears, tear out the page he scribbled on, folded into  four even squares and put inside his bag.
It was making me feel cold and uneasy. What is he doing.
"Ọkan jẹ fun ijapa ti o lọ si oko pẹlu ohunkohun ti o si pada wa pẹlu iṣu meji, gbaguda mẹta, ogede mẹrin.
Marun jẹ fun awọn ọmọ ogun ti kokoro ti nrin ni mẹfa, meje, ati mẹjọ si ile ijapa pẹlu iṣu meji, gbaguda mẹta ati ogede mẹrin.
Mẹsan jẹ fun ijapa ti o ni ori ti o ni fifalẹ lori ilẹ amọ pẹlu awọn ikarahun rẹ ti fọ ni mẹwa, mọkanla ati mejila.
Mẹtala ni ọjọ ọjà nigbati ògá jade kuro ni ibi ti o farapamọ lẹhin igi sapele lati ra raja mẹrinla, mẹdogun ati mẹrindilogun lati ọdọ alabara deede rẹ.
Mẹtadinlogun ni Whap whap, Thrash thrash ti ahọn ti ọpọlọ ti ebi npa ti o duro de awọn mejidilogun rẹ, mọkandinlogun ati ogun ọdẹ. (One is for the tortoise that went to the farm with nothing and came back with two yams, three cassava, four plantain.
Five is for the armies of ants marching in six, seven,and eight  into tortoise house along with the two yams, three cassava and four plantain .
Nine is for the bald headed tortoise lying flat on the clay floor with his shells broken in ten, eleven and twelve.
Thirteen is the market day when the chameleon came out of his hiding behind the sapele tree to buy buy Fourteen, fifteen and sixteen new camouflage from his regular customer.
Seventeen is Whap WHAP, Thrash thrash of the tongue of the hungry frog laying in wait for his Eighteen, nineteen and twenty prey.")
Everything he just said was....so beautiful that i unknowingly fell in love with it. I couldn't believe it. either for me falling in love with it or for how wonderful it is.
" Gbà (Take)"
"...."
Take what?
A neatly folded piece of paper was held at my face: " Fun kini?( for what?)"
"Mu o ki o rii fun ara rẹ ( Take it and see for yourself)" That annoying smile bloomed again....so annoying.
I took it from his hand and that's when I realized that it was the same piece of paper which he folded and kept in bag. Also, the nonsense was sense. I was mistaken.
" O le kọ ẹkọ pẹlu eyi. Mo ti kọ si isalẹ lori iwe yẹn (  You can learn it with this. I've written it down on that paper)"
" O dara, mo ti gbo ( OK, I'll)" I stared At the content hungrily without giving the human a single glance.
How did he know I would love it? I never told him or anyone. How come he found out? 
This time, for the first time in my life, I smiled at that human but lasted for a few millisecond hoping he doesn't see it.
" Umm, K-kọ mi (Umm,  t-teach me)"
" Inudidun ni emi yoo (Gladly will I )"
He went ahead and taught me the number games several times until I could say it off head. Though he doesn't need to go through that stress.







“ Ọmọbìnrin ẹkùn
 Wòlíì obìnrin ti òrìṣà mẹ́ta náà
 Eni ti o ni opa ase lati se akoso areonakakafo meji ti orun meje
 Ìyá ẹlẹ́sẹ̀ mẹ́jọ ti òrìṣà mẹ́wàá
 Ti nṣàn ninu ẹyin ti idì
 Ologoṣẹ oloju mẹwa ti o súfèé awọn orin ọdẹ
 Ayaba igbo ti gbogbo eda beru
 Ẹniti ibusun rẹ jẹ igi dudu
 Kọlu egbegberun lori rẹ osi
 Ẹgbẹẹgbẹrun mẹwa ni apa ọtun rẹ
 Ẹni tí ẹsẹ̀ rẹ̀ dàbí kọ̀lọ̀kọ̀lọ̀
 Sugbon tun fẹ awọn ijapa
 Gbogbo ale lo n korin oriki
 Ni ọjọ naa, awọn ilẹkẹ ẹgbẹ-ikun rẹ ti ṣokunkun"

“ The daughter of a tigeress 
The prophetess of the three headed python 
The one who has the opa ase to rule the two areeonakakafo of the seven skies 
The eigh legged mother of the ten deities 
Flowing in the egg of an eagle
The ten eyed sparrow that whistle the songs of the hunter 
The queen of the forest that all creatures fear
The one whose bed is a black stick 
Striking thousands on her left 
Ten thousands on her right 
The one whose legs are like the fox 
But also like the tortoises
Every night she sings the oriki 
The day, her waist beads tinkles“
Credit to the owner of the art

"What?!" Zhao Yu put down his chopsticks and asked, "You know these hexagram poems?"
The place where his mother pointed really was where Zhao Yu recorded the complicated hexagram poems from the system. Zhao Yu had looked for the explanation for very long but no one understood them.
Worn out the iron shoes hunting around, and it was found without even looking for it!
"Who knew, the one who understood was right before my eyes, and she is my mother!" Zhao Yu thought. "Goodness gracious. If I really could understand the hexagram poems, it would really help me with adventures in the future!"
"I'm not too sure though." His mother creased her eyebrows and said, "These things that you wrote down, I've seen them in a book at your grandfather's house. It was a handwritten copy, called The Art of Heaven Bagua! I asked your grandfather before! Your grandfather said that the Heaven Bagua was also called the Ghost Bagua—an ancient secret art that was lost! Sounds quite incredible. Hehehe…" Then she said, "Son, I don't understand, why would you have these hexagram poems?"
"I…" Zhao Yu was trying to make an excuse, "For a case! Yeah! It was for a case! I found it when I went to investigate a case! Mom, if you were to help me to solve this, it could be helpful for the case! Hurry up, tell me everything you know!"
"Mm…" His mother was touching the words on the notebook. She looked like she was trying hard to recall something. She said after a while, "These hexagram poems seem…to be…not what the words meant! So, it doesn't matter if you know the words, you just need to look at the orientation of the four corners and the five elements…
"Mm…sigh!" His mother suddenly sighed as she said, "It'd be great if your grandfather was still alive! I only gazed at it but never studied it before! Plus, this is lost to the world. It shouldn't be easy to understand!"
"Really?" Zhao Yu was depressed. " I…. How about my two uncles? Do they know?"
"Cough!" His mother pouted and said, "Don't bring up those two heartless b*stards, okay? They never do anything good, but only know how to fool around. Such an embarrassment to your grandfather! They are no match for me! At least I had no problem evaluating my daughter in law!"
"What the…" Zhao Yu held his mother's shoulder. "Mom, think again. See if you have any way to understand this. This is very important!"
"Son!" His mother pondered and said, "I vaguely remember your grandfather said that the Ghost Bagua was said to be very magical in the ancient book. It seemed that it could predict the future! Noh…" His mother pointed at the words in the notebook and said, "Hexagram poems were made up of four words in a group, and there are four groups in total. It includes Yin and Yang, and the five elements; very volatile. If one could master this, he could predict the future, using clues such as the four points of a compass and so on. Really mystical!"
"Oh…" Listening to his mother's explanation, Zhao Yu seemed to grasp the subtlety of it. These hexagram poems were not casually made up by the system but th ey contained a profound mystery.
"If I'm not mistaken, the hexagram poems show what miracle I am going to run into, under what circumstances, what time, what location and with who!" Zhao Yu thought. "If I could figure them out, not only could I increase my adventure completion rate, but also decrease the danger I come across during my adventures. This is definitely beneficial."
"I say, son," his mother creased her eyebrows and said, "I'm really confused. Why the drastic change? I remember, when I brought up anything about horoscopes, Bagua, physiognomy or palmistry in the past, you would resist me! You said everything was sheer nonsense and that I must believe in science! Why are you…interested in this now?
"If you are really interested, why not pick up physiognomy from me! I didn't learn anything else from your grandfather, but I mastered physiognomy. If you were to learn it, your grandfather would be so proud of you!"
"Mm… about that…can we talk about it later!" Zhao Yu would not change the topic but continued pleading, "Mom, you said that grandpa had a handwritten book about Ghost Bagua, right? Do you think you can find it?"
"It's hard to say. I have no idea what did your two useless uncles did with it!" His mother shook her head.
"Hurry up, call your brothers tomorrow and tell them to find it!" Zhao Yu shook his mother's arms. "Mom, it is really important to me!"
"Important?! What kind of drugs did the police station give you?" His mother cleaned up as she complained with disdain, "Only thinking about work everyday, solving cases, you don't even come home anymore! Look at your head, you are balding! I don't know if your hair will even grow back. Sigh!"
"Mom…" Zhao Yu was quite witty. He saw that his mother was not cooperating so he had an idea. "Mom, if I solve the case, there's a cash prize! Five-hundred thousand dollars!"
Plak! The bowls and chopsticks fell onto the table. His mother nearly jumped.
"What? Five…five-hundred…five-hundred thousand?!" His mother sat on the chair and stared into Zhao Yu's eyes. "Son, why…why didn't you tell me earlier? Look at what you've done…" His mother quickly took out her phone to call her brothers. Even though Zhao Yu reminded her that it was already past midnight, she did not care…
…
One hour later.
"Hoo…" Lying on the bed, Zhao Yu breathed out heavily. That very moment, his mother had put down the phone and went to bed too. The house returned to its tranquility. Although it was already late at night, Zhao Yu's brain cells were still extremely excited.
A few minutes ago, the system finally sent an ending notification. Zhao Yu's adventure completion rate had broke his previous record. He had gotten one-hundred and ten percent! The system gave him two grade one devices at once. One was called the memory flashback device. It could be used to look for anything in the past that he forgot or did not remember clearly. The other device was called the invisible hemostat. It could be used to instantly stop bleeding, regardless if it was internal or external bleeding. It was a single-use-only-item but it was an amazing device to save one's life!
Then and there, Zhao Yu had better understanding of the devices that the system awarded him. Even though there were various devices in his device bar, and every one of them was magical, none of them were used for attack! Not only was there no handgun or any offensive devices like a taser, there were never any destructive device either. All the devices were to assist him or provide medical aid. These devices could help Zhao Yu complete his task, to rescue but not to harm anyone!
The system seemed to follow some sort of principle. It would not have any dangerous device or one that was hard to control. But even though it only providing devices for assistance, it already made Zhao Yu even more powerful. He was content.
He also had some information related to the hexagram poem. Zhao Yu was extremely thrilled. If he could eventually understand the poems, he might be awarded with more powerful devices! Then, he thought about the Bank Hidden Corpse Case that had been solved, and also Miao Ying, who he yearned for day and night.
The more contact they had, the more Zhao Yu liked Team Leader Miao, who was bold and vigorous yet valued loyalty and friendship. He thought Miao Ying was his type and was irreplaceable!
Lying on the bed, every twinkle and smile of Miao Ying's was replaying in his mind. Zhao Yu was love sick. He was lying in his bed as he hummed a song, "Though I know love sickness is painful, I still think about you all the time. After much thinking, I'd rather suffer the pain…"


A little ruffian who fought recklessly without any morals and bottomline accidentally time-traveled to parallel space and became a Key Case Investigation Team agent. The huge change in identity had him creating chaos in the police station. However, a strange miracle system helped him repeatedly solve mysterious cases, turning him into an impudent ruffian detective!

"What kind of bet!?" – Britney was glaring at Evan.

She couldn't comprehend how a countryside bumpkin with no cultivation, a person who spent a whole day reading books for children up to six years, was having so much confidence in himself. The fact that he was able to dodge the guard's attacks ten times straight was somewhat suspicious and one might even think of it as a heavenly luck has taken place, since most of the time he didn't even look at Matt's movements.

"To see who is the unlearned one here!?" – Evan looked deadly serious, and even a hint of offence was showing on his face.

Evan was planning to make some fun of the girl, since he found her interesting. Not only she didn't behave as your average bookworm girl would, while being shy and all, she even had the heaven defying "two little sisters". The fact that she tried to apologise in the first place showed how innocent she was, and Evan didn't doubt for a second that the girl was a twenty-ish years old virgin, since alpha has already told him the information.

[A cliché situation where a cheater deals with an arrogant character is exactly what I need to set up] – meeting such an interesting person, Evan thought it would worth to befriend her.

"Ridiculous!!! Even a blind person would see that you are speaking nonsense and what can I get from such a beggar when I win the bet!?" – Britney felt even more stupefied, the person in front of her obviously was a person of lowly birth, but the confidence he radiated even when faced with people like herself and her grandfather, wasn't shining even one less bit.

"Do you like poems!?" – Evan asked with cunningness in his voice.

"What would a countryside bumpkin know, I am a poet myself!" – poems were Britney's one of the favourite subjects. She was called a genius poet of the young generation and it was something that Britney was taking pride in.

Evan didn't mention poems as a random subject since he saw her reading a half-meter thick book of poems in the morning. With Evan's knowledge from previous world and alpha on his side, he could just randomly recite any number of the most famous poems that had conquered the hearts of billions of people through out the ages.

"What a coincidence, I am a very qualified poet as well, we can compare our poems!?" – Evan grinned from one ear to another.

"Shameless, how can such an unrefined muscle head be a poet!? There are millions of losers with a lack of talent, who think they can create poems, but actually are nothing more than jokes in my sight, for I am Britney Rotherford, from the Rotherford family" – Britney didn't even consider what Evan said seriously, since she was absolutely sure that no such muscular ugly looking guy without manners and scholarly aura around him would be a poet worthy of being called such. 

"Actions are always better than words. Hmhm…" – Evan cleared his throat, He finally knew the background of the girl. The Rotherford family were the epitome of literature, in every generation the family produced more and more renowed writers and poets that would create amazing pieces of literature. Evan undrestood that he could not do it halfhearted, so asked for alpha's help. Evan changed his cheeky expression to a sensual one and with a sweat voice started to recite the poem.

"I can't say "How" and "Why"  
I love you now, and, until I die.
….
"
Evan's voice was too sweat, his expression showed how deeply in love ge was, the words were so resonating with the very soul that Britney's very monster core was shaken.

"What a beautiful poem, It's on the same level as  grandfather's poems!?" – Britney was so overtaken, that she forgot that the reciting person was still the guy that she only a moment ago called an unlearned countryside bumpkin.

"…
  For I must love, because I live  The live itself is what it gives." 

*******************************************

Evan finished his recitation of the poem, his hands were at his chest as if trying to embrace his heart, his head was down, from time to time looking at Britney with a corner of an eye to see her reaction.

[Alpha, how was my performance!?] – Evan said in his mind.

{Calculating the similarity of the action to the simulated performance. Analyses completed. 76/100 points}

[What an actor I am, it was a perfect show, let me see how you are going to play to get hard now, Alpha…muwahahahah]

{Calculating influence over Britney Rotherford's . Analyses completed. 4/10 points}
 
"So, Miss Britney I suppose...by the way, my name is Evan... what do you think about my poem!?" – Evan said, seeing her expression that showed how thoroughly she was immersed into the thoughts about the poem.

"Aahh, what…you…how can it be you…I don't believe it…you definitively cheated…I....I won't accept it!" – Britney just came back to her senses. She was completely dumbfounded, and the obvious reaction of denial followed immediately after. The performance Evan just did was amazing, but the actor's looks didn't match the style or the words, which downgraded the performance. Everyone would get an image of a performer in their head when they enjoyed the show, and very ofter when the image didn't match the reality a large portion of the pleasure would disappear. Britney understood how good the poem was, and hence couldn't match it up with Evan. 

"Come on miss, it's a pleasure to meet you too, don't worry beauty, I believe you have the means to find out if I really cheated with the poem or not, and we still haven't started the bet, hence no terms were stated yet!" – Evan replied smiling.

"I…I…can't…" – while she was searching for words to reply, Evan interjected.

"My actions proved themselves. Since the reason for the disagreement between us was to see if I am unlearned or not, the best solution to check is literature. We can challenge each other on the topic of poems, I can give you 3 days to prepare." – Evan said still smiling, if one looked carefully into his eyes, they would notice a slight mischievousness.

"I…I agree, but when you lose, you will tell me who is the author of the poem is and give me all of the other poems of the grandmaster you have!" – Britney still didn't doubt that Evan didn't have anything to do with such a touching poem but couldn't be not curious about an author who could write such a touching poem about love.

"The poem's value are beyond of your immagination, but still I do agree. Do not judge people by what their looks. Do not underestimate anyone, these are the universal sayings that anyone under skies know about but only a handful use!" – Evan was shaking his head when he said it. It looked like he was disappointed with Britney actions, while he himself behaved like a person who gained wisdom of the world.

"Stop the bullshit. It is something you should say for yourself, do not underestimate the eyes of a professional poet!" – Britney got frustrated because Evan was trying to look like a sage. She could tell with a single glance that he was at most a beginner in poetry.

When one reached a certain level of mastery in poetry, the way they speak or even move would change and they would radiate a certain grace that learned people could immediately recognise.

"Do not participate in a war in which you can't win, therefore I will stop arguing. If I win, miss Britney, you will just wear the clothes that I will prepare for you, and great me with a waist bow, as if I were your Master!" – Evan said with smile on his face.

The conditions were quite absurd for Britney. However, since she never doubted even for a second that she would definitively win, she accepted the conditions. Britney knew by name all of the grandmaster poets that lived on the devil continent for the last thousand years and she never heard any poem similar to the one Evan just recited. She was sure, that Evan found some ancient poet's creation and therefore couldn't wait to read his great works.

"If that is all you want, Deal. No going back now, mister Evan! I will be getting an ancient poetry book, what a luck! Do not say I am bulling you to take the grandmaster's book from you. You were the one who suggested it first." – For the first time Britney started to smile, it was almost like she didn't hear the words Evan said about the clothes.

"Don't worry miss Britney, this young hero never tells lies. Then I will trouble you to prepare for the contest in 3 days, and keep the conditions a secret. Since we don't want your scary grandpa to come after my life again!" – Evan was smiling, his set up worked perfectly, and everything was according to his plan.   
 

Evan's soul transmigrated to another world, but it didn't seem to be an accident as you would usually expect in transmigration. His soul has overtaken a body that belonged to a third prince of the strongest country on the continent, called the Monster Empire. However, the prince for some reason was at the end of his life, he was poisoned using the most terrifying poison there is known on the entire continent. The prince once was the strongest person from the strongest country, but now lost all the power and only status is left.

Hearing what she said, Lu Yunshuang's heart plummeted. 
No wonder Grandmother's attitude toward her had significantly dulled when she was back this time around. It turned out that this was the problem. 
"Grandmother, I..."
"Do not listen to Weiwei's nonsense. Although I'm at an elderly age, I still have the energy to walk to the Mansion Gate," the Dowager Duchess interrupted. 
Lu Yunshuang's face turned pallor. 
When the Dowager Duchess was young, she had traversed through the battlefields along with the Duke and was nothing short of prestigious. However, now that she was at an old age, she had to greet and pay respects to her granddaughter. She was sure to feel uncomfortable in her heart.
Now that she heard what the Dowager Duchess had to say, Lu Yunshuang felt immensely anxious and remorseful. 
Before she came over today, she had consigned someone to hand Aunt Zheng a letter. However, she had forgotten to remind her to keep their plans simple in order not to startle Grandmother. 
She only thought of it when she arrived before the gate of the Duke Mansion. However, it was already too late. 
The Dowager Duchess did not express her vexation then, so she never took this incident to heart. 
Nevertheless, being called out by Lu Liangwei like that highlighted her lack of understanding, making her seem unfilial as she appeared not to pay any heed to the Dowager Duchess. 
She attempted to save the situation by saying something, but the Dowager Duchess had already begun to speak.
"It's now March, the season of spring where the grasses are tall, the nightingales are high in the air and the willow trees are green while the flowers bloom a bright red. Both of you can use this as the main topic and compose a poem about it," she said. 
After a momentary pause, she sent a glance toward Lu Liangwei. "It does not have to be self-composed. If there are any good lines from the books you've read, you can write it down as well," she added. 
The instructions obviously benefitted Lu Liangwei. 
Due to Lu Liangwei's usual capricious behavior, she had never done well in her studies. 
Feeling extremely disdainful, Lu Yunshuang shot Lu Liangwei a condescending stare. 
The Dowager Duchess's good intentions might all go to waste.
Other than her face, which was still somewhat useful, Lu Liangwei was a lowly educated and unskilled dimwit. 
Even if she was assigned the task of copying lines of a poem word by word from a book, she might not know how to do so. 
Lu Yunshuang remained silent as she smiled subtly. Holding up her sleeve with one hand and using the other to raise the brush then dip it in the ink, she appeared to ponder on her thoughts momentarily, then raised her head and proceeded to write on the paper right away. 
Her finesse stunned Long Chi, whose eyes glimmered in fascination immediately. 
He could not help but leave the audience seat and make his way to stand behind Lu Yunshuang. 
As his gaze fell on the paper, he could not resist reciting the words aloud. "The prettiest scenery capable of arousing my poetic heart lies in the start of spring, where the willow leaves have just emerged in unevenly colored pale yellow buds. If we waited till the flowers in Shanglin came to full bloom, we'd see people admiring the flowers everywhere once we stepped out of our rooms."[1]
Long Chi recited each of the sentences word by word. Coupled with his clear, melodious voice, the poem was capable of touching the hearts of many. 
After reciting, Long Chi mused upon the imagery described in the poem. He could not hide the glint of admiration in his eyes. "Shuanger, what a good poem!" he exclaimed.
The Dowager Duchess also nodded. "Shuanger's poem is fascinating. The words she used emanates the dignified style of a noble person," she commented. 
Upon hearing her daughter receiving praises from the Crown Prince and the Dowager Duchess, Aunt Zheng felt delighted, even more so than being on the receiving end of praises. 
She was high-spirited and extremely pleased. 
Lu Liangwei was not the slightest bit affected. To begin with, she did not know how to compose poems, but she had read a few classical poem books back in the present. Therefore, it would not be difficult for her to copy down a few good poems. 
Anyway, the Dowager Duchess had told them that if they did not know how to compose poems, they could always copy lines from other poems. 　　
She noticed the cherry blossoms in full bloom in the courtyard and pondered for a while before writing down a poem on the paper. 
"On this very day, last year at this very gate, faces and cherry blossoms both bloomed red. The faces are now in places unknown, yet the cherry blossoms still beam in the spring wind."[2]
Her voice was soft. When she recited the poem, her intonation had the soft and tender hush used by those who came from Jiangnan.
Furthermore, her expression was exceptionally serious when writing the poem. As she raised her head, her hair slid off her shoulder to expose her graceful, fair neck under the sunlight. 
...
[1] Lines from a Tang Dynasty poem.
[2] Lines from a Tang Dynasty poem.


Lu Liangwei wakes up to find herself transmigrated as a supporting character in the novel she had been reading a few days ago. According to the novel, this character has everything—beauty, wealth, status—except brains. Before Liangwei had taken over, she even went as far as to hang herself for the male protagonist that she loved: the Crown Prince as well as her sister's lover. Now that she has become a "brand new" person, it is time for her to turn her life around with charm and wit! She will get everyone to fall in love with her, even the Crown Prince's uncle—the Emperor! Who needs a prince when you can become the Empress herself?

The classroom had rows of low tables and cushions to sit on. There were two of these low tables in each row and I made my way over to an empty one. The prince silently sat down next to me and I had to stop myself flinching. Why can't these royal bastards leave me in peace? First it was the fifth prince, and now it was the youngest one. 
Prince Sanghue doesn't yet have his title of third prince, as he was borne from a concubine, but he still had many years to prove himself. I look over to Wu Roqing and she is seated next to the youngest son of the Huong family. He becomes one of her love interests later in the book. She looks back and waves at me and I cheerfully wave back, completely ignoring the prince.
Teacher Pie begins his lesson on poems and other nonsense. I've always hated literature and was very mediocre in the subject. But thankfully I remember a lot of poems from my previous life. I could just steal some and say that I created it myself.
"When you write poems, you must express yourself, say what you feel. Bring it out from your soul, within your heart…"
God he sounds like my highschool Creative writing teacher. While I'm thinking about what to write, I subconsciously tap my brush handle on the table, which was an old habit of mine. The prince seemingly got irritated by this and said, "Could you kindly not do that?"
'Okay…' I said still not looking at him, deep in thought, not aware that he had even spoken to me. Ah, I decide to write a depressing poem, that won an award in my previous life.
I write it down as best as I can remember it. Teacher Pei claps his hands, "Alright, when I call your name, stand up and recite your poem. First to go, Prince Sanghue." 
~~~~~
Jin Qingye was deep in thought. Why did Xier's sister remind him so much of someone? He felt like he had seen her somewhere. Where had he heard that voice before? He sat his office and was pondering this for almost an hour now. His attendant, who was sitting in front of him, stared at his master's strange expression.
"Master, is there anything that is troubling you?"
"Say, have you seen the eldest Miss Song outside of the palace?"
"No Master, she hasn't come out to the public yet."
"I keep thinking I saw here sometime else…"
"Shall I send my spies to gather information?"
"Yes do that…"
He gets up and heads towards Teacher Pei's building, to see Laing. He stands outside her window, and he could hear her speaking. It seems like she is reciting some sort of poem.
~~~~~
The prince's poem was something about nature, and was totally boring. While everyone enthusiastically clapped, I just gave him a slow clap. Everyone else's poems were also nature based, and some even about the kingdom. However I clap extra hard when my cousins and Roqing present because I'm a great friend.
"Song Laing!"
I stood up to present my plagerised poem. I clear my throat and begin.
'Sometimes, when one loves,
Their love is destined to end in pain.
But when I see her face,
I can somehow tell,
We were meant to be.
But even love that was meant to be,
Was never meant to be.'
When I finish my poem, everyone is silent, and even Teacher Pei doesn't say anything. I clear my throat and sit back down. I guess people don't do depressing stuff. I look a the person next to me, to only catch him staring at me thoughtfully. I freeze and frown, and look away. Why is this guy looking at me? What a creep…
The rest of the lesson is spent in silence as Teacher Pei explained things to us. After class, I quickly ran towards Roqing and my cousins.
"Wow, Miss Laing, that was such a deep poem. How did you come up with it?"
'Oh you know, I just reflected my feelings like teacher was telling us to do.'
"My cousin is really talented, ah!"
'You guys a really too much…'
We laughed all the way to the food hall.
~~~~~
Jin Qingye was a bit shocked after hearing her poem. It sounded so sad, and heartbreaking. He wanted to know who on earth dared to hurt this girl. After the lesson had ended, she ran towards her friends and listened as she explained she had written from her feelings.
Seeing her happy face when she talked about something so sad made him feel extremely strange. He remembered the sad tone she narrated her poem in.
"Where have I heard that tone before?" he thought to himself.
He needed to ponder on this a bit more.
~~~~~
Prince Sanghue looked in surprise as the girl named Song Laing ran off towards her friends. What a strange girl. Normal girls would shower him with the utmost respect and importance, but this girl she didn't even attempt to speak to him the entire lesson. 
What surprised him was the quality of her poem. He didn't want to admit it, but her poem's quality rivals those of the poets in the high courts. It was better than his in every way.
The way she narrated it also dumbfounded him. The pain in her voice could clearly be heard. It sounded so genuine, like she had been through quite something. 
He walked back to the prince's residences pondering thoroughly about many things.

After a Japanese woman dies in an accident, her conscious and soul somehow transports into the body of the Villainess in one of her favourite light novels.
Unfortunately for her, as a villainess she is destined to have a bad ending. This is the story of how she tries to change her fate and save everyone she loves.
Will she be able to change her destiny?

-------
Note: None of this is based on actual events or real life places in history. This story is set in a fantasy world, with its own set of rules.

*This novel is experimental, I'm trying to get more experience as a writer.

Warning:
Few Mature Scenes
Course Language

With a light sigh, he raised his hand and stroked her head once. His thin lips were slightly pursed.
"Babe, I'm not Sima Xiangru! I won't make you wait for me thousands of miles away, let alone ever make you feel helpless."
His mellow voice had a sense of soothing warmth. Out of his mouth, these two sentences from sad poems sounded like tender words of romance, and they could make someone tremble inside.
Romantic words from men couldn't be believed, even if they were indeed powerful and soul-stirring.
After blinking, Yun Xi concealed the emotions in her eyes, and her bleak eyes gradually became clearer.
The emotion that was about to explode when she saw the words "male phoenix seeks female phoenix" was suppressed.
She pushed him away, then tilted her head up and smiled, as she teased the solemn and domineering man in front of her.
"I didn't expect that Young Marshal Mu had also read Zhuo Wenjun's poems. Which lovesick young girl wrote that to you?"
"Babe, my gym teacher wasn't the one who taught me literature."
Mu Feichi squeezed her pink cheeks. "This is Zhuo Wenjun's most famous poem. Didn't you learn this at school?"
"No." Yun Xi shook her head. Schools usually didn't use these kinds of love poems for exams.
"Well, then, it must have been your gym teacher who taught you literature."
With that said, they went over to see the housekeeper and the rest of the staff who had been waiting for a long time.
"Why did you bring me here?"
Looking at the welcoming formation, if Mu Feichi wasn't the owner of this villa, then he was certainly a distinguished guest.
Mu Feichi glanced at her mysteriously and refused to reveal the reason.
Yun Xi got even more curious. He dragged her all the way to the entrance of the villa.
"Master!" Tan Zhong, the butler of the villa, saw that his master had brought a woman here for the first time and hurriedly came forward to greet them.
Stepping forward, Mu Feichi unceremoniously introduced her to Tan Zhong, "Uncle Zhong, this is a distinguished guest, Miss Yun Xi, the future Madame."
Tan Zhong was shocked by his master's domineering words. He glanced at the little girl before him and felt both surprised and curious.
The little girl looked young. Her eyes were clear, calm, and not arrogant. Just standing there, she could make people feel her graceful and dignified aura.
Upon taking a closer look at them standing there made him realize that they seemed like a match made in heaven.
Thank God that in the future they wouldn't have to worry about whether the young master liked women.
The young master didn't play by the rules. Not only did he bring over a woman, but he also declared that she was the future Madame of the Mu family.
Since he'd declared that she was going to be the Madame so directly, it seemed that the Young Master was serious this time.
Looking at Yun Xi, the butler suddenly looked relieved. After 100 years, they wouldn't have to worry about letting Madame Chongli down.
Yun Xi was self-composed, and she didn't appear to feel awkward from being stared at and admired.
After Mu Feichi had uttered the word Madame, the large group of men and women standing behind the housekeeper had turned their heads and stared at her.
Why, was she better looking than their master? What a joke!
"Uncle Zhong, please don't listen to his nonsense. Your young master was traumatized today and has no scruples when he speaks. Don't take it seriously!"
Tan Zhong looked at her and a smile broke out on his old face. "I understand, I understand! It's cold outside, so let's hurry up and go inside the villa."
Just as Yun Xi raised her foot and prepared to escape, Mu Feichi reached his hand out quickly and grabbed her back into his arms.
Yun Xi turned her head to glare at him with annoyance and ground her elbow against his chest.
"Young Master Mu, you're so annoying. Let me go!"
"No!"
"Three-year-old Mu, can you please be more mature?"
"No!"
"..."
Just as he was about to step into the gates of the villa, Mu Feichi seemed to have suddenly thought of something. He paused and turned his head to look at the arch at the entrance.
"Uncle Zhong, take off the plaque at the door."
"Huh? Why do you want to take it off all of a sudden?"
"Our little Madame doesn't like it."
"All right, I'll take it off immediately."
Yun Xi looked at a loss for words. Why did it have anything to do with her?


The iron-blooded Master Mu had three specialties: great marksmanship, great skills and masterful ways to spoil his wife! Everyone in Jingdu knew that Yun Xi was  the apple of Mu Feichi’s eye. Anyone who saw her would be envious and anyone who crossed her would hurt their bones. Reborn one day, Yun Xi the star of death was unloved and neglected by her parents. However, she somehow ends up in the devilish vortex of Mu Feichi’s love...

"'Literary works flow overseas, if one wants to compose poetry and drink wine, they will stopover at the west gate again?' Seems like this Lu Yuan truly has some real ability."
"Hehe, grandpa's judgment wouldn't be wrong. If I say he is talented, it means that he is!"
"Grandpa, matching a couplet cannot mean anything. It can only prove that he isn't an ignorant and incompetent person. There are so many people here, are they not all people of talent?"
"Hehe, I know your judgment is very high. Have you heard of [Für Elise] before? That was created by him."
"I've been immersed in ancient poetry these few days, I've not heard of that yet."
"If you are free, you should listen to it. The melody of Für Elise has already been entered into the teaching books. After you listen to it, you will know why grandpa regards this young man so highly."
"If he is really a person of talent, he would surely display his brilliance here in the Poetry Exchange! If he can get within the top three rankings, I will consider him."
"Your requirements are too high. It's very rare for there to be men who are proficient in all fields in the world. Unless he is a genius of course. I feel that he is already sufficiently outstanding, and he is also very humble. He doesn't have the air of arrogance most literati have."
"No! My requirements will not change. Even if I cannot meet someone like that in my entire life, I won't change. It isn't so bad to live alone until I'm old."
"Sigh, you really...what can I say to you…"
On the second level, Grandpa Chen looked to be in vigorous health. He looked at his granddaughter while shaking his head and sighing in his heart.
This granddaughter was good in many aspects. Her talent and ability were high too.
But her brain must have been damaged.
What kind of man would have the talent so high that it reached the requirements she was looking for?
Wasn't this pure nonsense?
.........
This time, the Poetry Exchange was split into two factions.
The classical poetry society and modern poetry society.
Ever since ancient times, they had always scorn each other.
The modern poetry supporters felt that classical poetry supporters were too inflexible and kept adhering to old ideas. They only knew how to follow the old ways and were lacking in new ideas.
The classical poetry supporters felt that modern poetry supporters had forgotten their foundations. The poems they wrote contained no depth, and in recent times, no one in the modern poetry society was overflowing with talent. Hence, the content of their poems was simply sentimental nonsense.
These two factions would always clash with each other in the Poetry Exchange every year, comparing their poems. Everyone hoped that the faction they supported could suppress the other. However, they both had an equal share of limelight every year and the difference was truly minimal. Basically, they were in a tie...
After all, regardless of classical poetry or modern poetry, they had never been compared to see which was better in history. They were all poems. Only the talent of poets was being compared.
Maybe it was because those who could enter the Poetry Exchange were all students ranking at the top of various universities. Their accomplishments in literature were naturally outstanding. Hence, when the judges gave out the points, the score would always hover around the 9-point mark. It was very rare for there to be a lower or higher score given. The winner of each year also won barely by 0.xx+ points. It was impossible for there to be a situation of absolute crushing dominance.
Hence, in such a situation, even the number of talents in each faction was something the two factions wanted to compete about.
Lu Yuan managed to match an extremely difficult couplet. In the eyes of people of this faction, he was a rare talent!
If Lu Yuan hadn't been dragged to the west gate by Li Dongqiang, he most probably would have been sitting at the classical poetry side, eating fruits and idling away his time. If that happened, he would occasionally glance at the people and clap a little for the atmosphere, waiting for the exchange to be peacefully finished. But now...
The situation wasn't too good.
"Lu Yuan, you say for yourself. Now, you have two entry passes, so you can choose to sit at two seats. Which one do you want?"
"That's right, what would you choose? The classical poetry side or our modern poetry side!?"
"..."
The light here was very bright, and it shone down on Lu Yuan's bitter and somewhat forced smile.
Not far away, on an empty space at the footpath, a few cameramen hurriedly turned their cameras and filmed Lu Yuan. The reporters at the side had looks of interest on their faces as they wrote down notes…
At this moment, regardless of who they were, all the members of the Poetry Exchange were staring at Lu Yuan, waiting for his choice. The atmosphere became slightly awkward once again.
"Can I choose to stand and watch? I feel that standing up is quite good." Lu Yuan took in a deep breath upon seeing the gazes of the people and the flash of the cameras.
He felt that there would be a problem no matter where he chose.
"No way!"
"No way! You have to choose!"
Shen Rong and Dao Yuting spoke out at the same time.
"Ah, no good. My stomach is aching. It's so painful that I cannot stand it. Where's the toilet? I need to make a trip there…" Lu Yuan instantly thought of an idea as he looked at the people here. Under the dumbfounded gazes of the crowd, he clutched his stomach and ran toward the direction of the toilet.
Out of the thirty-six stratagems, fleeing was the best one!
"We will wait for him to come back and choose."
"Sure!"
The attitudes of Dao Yuting and Shen Rong were so intense that there was a smell of gunpowder in the air. After that, they returned to their seats.
......…...
Lu Yuan ran to the toilet, and he subconsciously searched in his pocket.
His disappointment continued to ferment.
He wanted to hide in the toilet and would only come out when the Poetry Exchange was about to be concluded. It could be considered that he had 'finished enduring' today.
However, he didn't know which bro was it that had diarrhea. In the toilet, sounds of firecrackers popping kept ringing out. The sound was one thing, but the smell was so pungent that those who smelled it would instantly feel like vomiting.
How could Lu Yuan, who was not smoking, endure such a thing? He finally cursed 'MMP' in his heart and speechlessly ran out of the toilet.
Under the light, he stared at the two entry passes in his hand…
(Forget it, I'll go to the Old Master's seat.)
He ultimately had to choose one after all.
Lu Yuan hesitated for a while. Ultimately, he walked in the direction of the seat the Old Master had arranged for him, under the sound of sighing from Shen Rong and the excited gaze of Dao Yuting.
When the talents of the classical poetry faction saw this scene, their expressions were filled with a few hints of satisfaction. As for those from the modern poetry faction, all of them were glaring at Lu Yuan with envy, speechlessness, and rage...
There were all sorts of expressions.
If looks could kill, Lu Yuan would probably already be dead.
"Brother, not bad! You have good judgment! My name is Xu Xiaonian, it's an honor to meet you!"
"Eh, my name is Lu Yuan, it's an honor to meet you…"
Lu Yuan just sat down and there was already a youth wearing a traditional Han Chinese robe coming over to converse with Lu Yuan. This youth clasped his fists together and had a very polite look on his face.
Lu Yuan also mirrored his mannerisms. It was just that the more he did so, the stranger he felt.
He wasn't used to this.
"It's really good that brother decided to join our classical poetry faction. Your presence really brings light to our humble location!"
"Ah? Actually, I don't really know much about poetry. I'm just a dabbler and I came here because I wanted to learn…"
"Brother, you are too humble. Being able to match the lower part of that couplet already shows your skill. If you are a dabbler, wouldn't I be a layman? Brother, there's no need to be so unduly humble. If you are overly humble, that would be considered flaunting…"
"My luck was just good...I really don't have much talent and ability." Lu Yuan blushed with shame when he saw the impressed look on the youth's face when speaking with Lu Yuan.
He also felt extremely awkward.
"You are just too modest. Oh, by the way, I received news that the test topic today will be about 'farmer'. We have to use the topic to craft a poem. Do you have any insight on this?"
"Farmer?" Lu Yuan shook his head. "No. Actually, I don't really know how to write poems. I will just watch as you write it,"
"Everyone has to write one...this is the rule of the competition."
"Ah? The rule?"
"Yes."
"Is there a reward?"
"For the first-place in every category, the winner would have an honor certificate…"
"I'm not asking about the certificates. I mean, are there any monetary rewards?"
"Yeah, the monetary rewards should be $50,000 for every category."
"$50,000!"
Lu Yuan, who had planned to slack like a salted fish, suddenly changed his attitude. His eyes brightened when he heard this.
(Farmer? Wait a minute…)
(I… Want to thank my primary school's language teacher!)
Lu Yuan took in a deep breath and felt a little high.
"Yea, what about it?"
"Nothing…"
As the two were discussing below the stage, the music of the opening ceremony rang out from the stage. After that, a few old men sat on the judging table. The one at the corner was none other than Old Master Chen.
"Respected gifted scholars, a very good night to everyone. Today, our Poetry Exchange is honored enough to have invited…"
After the host's introduction, the lighting on the stage dimmed. After that, the audience who were initially making noise suddenly fell silent.
A giant screen at the back of the stage showed the topic of this category...
The test topic was 'Farmer'!
"Farmer, hehe. It's truly the case. Luckily, I did some preparations. Brother...brother? Mn?" When Xu Xiaonan glanced over, he saw Lu Yuan already lifting his brush in excitement and wrote words on the xuan paper...
When Xu Xiaonan took a closer look, he discovered that Lu Yuan's words were as messy as the dance of dragons and phoenixes.
Mn…
He completely had no idea what Lu Yuan was writing.
This calligraphy was truly…
Too unique?
Note:
MMP is the acronym of a chinese cursing phrase: "Your mom is a prostitute." The alternatives are mmp [pinyin acronym] and X賣批 [mā mài pī].


In that year, with a script finished in five hours, Lu Yuan who was dying for money successfully got a large investment of one million Yuan from a rich and beautiful girl.
At first, he just planned to spend eight hundred thousand Yuan on shooting and take the remaining two hundred thousand Yuan home before the movie's release, marrying a wife and running a small business. He swore he would never come to Hengdian again.
However…
The box office got an extraordinary success…

Sun Zhongyang had made a prediction. His father, Sun Xunwen, had a great plan. Now that he had walked through danger to stand beside Lu Shu, he would not be satisfied being a rich and bored person in the palace. But even though Sun Zhongyang was brave, he did not dare to think in the direction of the Lord of Heaven.
He knew the gap between him and his father. His father, Sun Xunwen was truly daring and resolute. On the other hand, he was simply a young man who was slightly stronger than the other sons in the palace.
But when his father became a Lord of Heaven, Sun Zhongyang suddenly felt that he did not quite understand his father. He was much more daring than he had imagined!
The Four Lords of Heaven had always possessed the most authority. Typically, the palace of the King of Gods did not use its power. Thus, the Lords of Heaven had the most power and influence.
But now, Sun Zhongyang discovered that he had become the son of a Lord of Heaven!
He was not like other families, where many siblings had to fight for a position. Sun Xunwen only had one son!
Sun Zhongyang had a wife, but his wife passed on early due to a strange disease. Since then, Sun Xunwen did not marry anyone else. He only had one son, Sun Zhongyang. 
Sun Zhongyang was very clear that his father loved his mother deeply. He sighed with emotion. It was not easy to have a warm and affectionate family among the wealthy families in the palace.
Now, he was the son of a Lord of Heaven!
In the future, any wealthy family from the palace who wanted to do business in the West Region would have to see the mood of the Sun family. In the past, they were equal. Now, the Sun family was high above the rest. This feeling was very mysterious!
Sun Zhongyang told himself not to let his joy get to his head, but he was not like the officials in the palace.
Sun Zhongyang turned around and looked, he suddenly realized that the 12 underlings his father had given him had knelt down on one knee. They said in unison, "Congratulations, crown prince."
These underlings had followed Sun Xunwen for 100 years. They knew that the Sun family would not create concubines. Thus, they could rest without worry by currying favor with Sun Zhongyang!
Sun Zhongyang sighed with emotion. He now relied on his father's status. He did not know when he would be able to break free of this.
When Sun Zhongyang thought about it, he waved. "Rise. Continue to do your homework. Whoever is done with their homework, help me do mine as well."
He could finally be more strong-willed when he spoke. He even dared to ask others to do his homework for him! In the past, these 12 underlings were his father's trusted subordinates. He did not dare to command them before he obtained their acknowledgment!
To be honest, the 12 underlings never expected that a day would come where they would help someone else do their homework…
They were chief officers who were comparable to the 12 patrons.
At that moment, Lu Shu walked inside the Peach Garden Association. He could already hear the loud and empty talk from inside. There were countless cushions in the waterside pavilions and visitors could choose any cushion to sit down and listen.
There was a towering and distinct spot in the middle of the waterside pavilion for people to speak. Only the speaker could sit there.
Three old men sat at the speaker's spot. One of them said, "The white sun sets below the mountains. This is over-analysis. It is simply heresy. In the future, please take note of this. How could you casually taint such a beautiful poem like 'farmers planting at noon'?"
An old man quickly said, "This is his argument. Old Lao, be careful when you speak!"
Old Lao was upset. "He led the Wei Wu Army and went to the palace once again. I have to say this. He is an ignorant fellow. How dare he misinterpret the poems written by the old King of Gods?"
Back then, the argument that Lu Shu had put forth in the fields had spread to the palace. After all, the King's Studies scholars were rather mobile. They liked to travel everywhere.
As this argument slowly formed a new subdivision, everyone knew that this was the strange argument put forth by the head of the Wei Wu Army. Now, the Wei Wu Army was at the peak of its power. Some scholars had started to advocate this argument. Of course, many people opposed this…
Someone softly said, "It is said that he is the orthodox…"
"Nonsense. Do you think the imperial edict is fake? He is just a rebel!"
"Hush!" One of the speakers was shocked. "Is this something that we can discuss?"
Someone laughed out loud. "What are you afraid of? He has not reached the palace. Even if he is in front of me, I dare to say so. No scholars have been killed in the Luniverse. Is he not afraid that scholars will condemn him in speech and in writing?"
Lu Shu listened by the side. He could not understand where his confidence came from…
But Lu Shu did not care about them for now. He changed the details of his appearance. He got up and walked among the crowd. Every time he walked past someone, he would give them a book.
Lu Shu had asked Zhong Yutang to prepare these books before he left the Earth. Back then, Zhong Yutang did not understand why Lu Shu wanted him to prepare these books.
When the King's Studies scholars received the books, they opened them and were dumbfounded. Something was written on the cover of the thick book. Appreciation of the Collection of Poems… 
Not only were there poems inside, there were annotations and the source of the poems. It was very detailed.
When the scholars saw this, they felt that something was wrong. The binding of the book was much stronger than that of the traditional thread binding in the Luniverse. It felt like an item from another time… in reality, this was the case.
It was not that traditional thread binding was not elegant. At least they could see how it was produced. But the modern binding from Earth had exceeded their imaginations. The Luniverse was not capable of such printing technology.
Putting the technology aside, when they opened the book and looked at its contents, they were confused. Why was the introduction already different from what they knew?
Who was Li Bai? Who was Du Fu? These poems were written by the old King of Gods, right? Why had the author changed? 
They wanted to find Lu Shu and discuss with them, or ask about the situation. But Lu Shu was running around the place. He was nowhere to be found.
Everyone could only look at the collection of poems in their hands and space out. Gradually, the three speakers realized that something was wrong. Why were the people below holding a book and spacing out?
They scanned the area. After all, they were sitting at a height. It was easier for them to observe the entire situation. Thus, they saw Lu Shu, who was giving out the books.
One of them was dumbfounded. He shouted at Lu Shu, "Young man, what are you doing?"
Lu Shu did not care about what they said. He had to finish giving out the books!
This was a gathering of the King's Studies scholars. Furthermore, the most famous scholars in the Luniverse were here. As long as he destroyed their beliefs, he would not have to be afraid that he would run out of distress points, right?
Lu Shu did not like benefiting at the expense of others. After all, he still had moral values. But he had invented a new way to earn distress points. It was called benefiting at his own expense…


Magical energy has come to this world; Lu Shu could only stare as one powerhouse after another appear.

Looking at his own peculiar ability, he exhaled a breath of cold air.

Dog balls!

...

This is a story of how Lu Shu used poisonous chicken soup to become the Demon King

Translator Synopsis:

This is the story of an orphan, Lu Shu. He is not any regular orphan, but a metahuman experiencing the changes in himself, his country and the world during the dawn of the magical era. Watch as Lu Shu embarks on a journey to hone his peculiar abilities together with his sister, the adorable and charismatic Lu Xiaoyu. Along the way, they’ll encounter supernatural events, obstacles and even the most powerful people in their country. How will Lu Shu make the best of his abilities and oust his never-ending list of rivals and opponents?

nonsense poems novel

nonsense

In summary

MORENIKEJI

Crazy Detective

Monster Empire: The Conquest

Transmigrated As My Former Uncle's Sweetheart

The Lazy Villainess

Imperial Commander: His Pretty Wife Is Spoiled Rotten

I Really Didn't Want to Be Famous

Spare Me, Great Lord!

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