Lost: To Be Found

'My head hurts…'

At that moment a mature, tall, and beautiful woman with long platinum blonde hair could be seen nagging a younger version of herself. No, nagging isn't quite the right word.

"If you had even one redeeming quality, you wouldn't be suffering like this, don't you realise that? I tell you again and again, but you never listen. Worthless at etiquette, worthless in dance and music… honestly you're about to finally debut, behind schedule, and yet you can't even grasp the fundamentals! Do you want our family to be a laughing stock?"

The girl in front of the woman stood rigidly, maintaining her posture but never meeting her mother's eyes. She'd nod occasionally, showing she was listening and agreed, but a close look at her eyes would show them glazed over.

'I perform well in every subject that isn't specifically for socialising with nobility and now I'm worthless huh? Seems to be on par…'

These snide remarks would occasionally come up, only to be ardently blocked by her lips that kept themselves sealed tight as possible.

'Just a little longer. A few more days and my ceremony will take place. Then the debutante is less than a month and I'll finally make them proud and be what they want.'

The thought process the girl had wasn't inherently wrong, but she knew she was expecting too much. By this point she could be perfect and yet the hate she'd receive would hardly subside. It was just too ingrained in her parents by this point. She knew this and yet… she had to keep trying.

This all started years ago. The first sign that things wouldn't end well was, unfortunately for her, at the girl's birth. The Lionysus family was a patriarchal noble house, ensconced in tradition as well as old money that was quickly running low. This child of theirs was meant to be a strong man. The heir to the family who would grow a clever entrepreneurial spirit, saving the family, and supporting his parents as they comfortably aged into an early retirement.

The child born that day was a girl.

Irked? Perhaps. But the two parents had no plans to hate their child just for that. And so the little baby girl was taken into the Lionysus household, being given the name Dahlia. Though they were disappointed in having their first child be a little lady instead of the future baron, they knew it would just take time until they had another child. They knew that there would be more chances.

Except there weren't any.

Somehow, in the previous few months, the Baron had become infertile. There was no medicine to fix it. No available magics to undo what was done. If it was the Baroness perhaps a surrogate could have been used, but the Baron? No. His bloodline was too distinctive and needed to be maintained. There was no other option, the one and only child they had would have to become the heir if they wished to continue the bloodline.

And so, little Dahlia grew up with the weight of the household on her shoulders. It wasn't pleasant but she worked hard, always living each day with the desire to hear praise. To feel the embrace of another and know that she was loved. That was her entire driving force.

She quickly lost any true interest or desire in the barony, but if it meant she could receive her parents' praise and affections, then she would work harder than anyone else. For a while this ideology worked too. Dahlia had started receiving tutors as early as three years old with each person hired always instructed to treat her older than she was. "Expect the exemplary" was the motto both her parents had drilled into the tutor's heads. Early on, there were some duds that showed the lonely girl some empathy and kindness, but they were quickly fired. In the end, the cold and strict teachings of an unfeeling group of adults was what surrounded her day after day and that desire for her parents' praise became all the more prevalent.

From three on, she began to be treated better as she quickly proved that she actually was just as exemplary as her parents desired, perhaps even more than expected in some areas. In particular, her proficiency in maths, rhetoric, science, and magic theory all shone like a diamond in the rough. Very early on it could be seen she was a prodigy. By the time her sixth birthday came along, she also finally showed the development of her mana channelling organs causing her parents to breathe another sigh of relief. Their girl wasn't going to be some "disabled, magicless, freak" as they so tactfully put it.

With the greatest concern out of the way, they believed the rest was smooth sailing and their love and praise for Dahlia grew, making her work even harder. Although there was still some discomfort with a woman taking the seat as heir, both parents could accept it in exchange for her proficiency and most importantly, her bloodline.

So it was like a slap in the face when they learned that all of their efforts had been wasted.

The concept of bloodline wasn't just something to do with noble heritage or some similarly vague idea like that. Bloodlines were an important part of everyone's genetic makeup and was a cornerstone for many people's magical ability or their inherited physique. For the Lionysus family, other than the silver mine that helped solidify them financially early on, the name "Lionysus" was almost synonymous with the Burning Lion; an ancient and powerful monster that had gifted its blood to the first baron of their line. It was for this mythical bloodline that a direct descendant of the Baron was so important and it was for this reason why Dahlia was accepted as heir despite old standing tradition.

So when Dahlia finally turned twelve and could begin to have her bloodline tested, only to find that not only was it a low purity of only 20%, but she possessed neither the Burning Lion bloodline of her noble house, nor even the griffin bloodline found from her mother. The mere thought of such a potent bloodline not taking form in her was devastating, and after the doctor conducting the test suggested that perhaps her unrecognisable bloodline was due to "muddied" blood, that was the last straw.

Both parents changed from that day forward. Something had snapped in them and their already slightly abusive and manipulative tendencies became overt. Hoping for praise became nothing more than a pipe dream as Dahlia was lucky to be reprimanded instead of beaten for a day.

Despite all this, she somehow maintained some sense of composure. Certain parts of her soul felt like they were being crushed by her parents one day at a time and everyday her heart ached of loneliness and the desire to be wanted. But again and again she was taught not to expect anything. By this point, all she could hope for was for one last saving grace.

You see, beyond their precious bloodline, the Lionysus family was renowned for one other thing and that was their "aspects." Occasionally called elements, an individual's aspect was an inherent trait that defined the scope of their magic and although it developed alongside a bloodline and could be affected by it, aspects weren't bound to any given bloodline. The Lionysus family was always known for having light magic in some capacity and they married those with complimentary bloodlines and aspects to keep it that way.

The exact aspect changed from person to person. Dahlia knew that her grandfather had the aspect of "summer sunlight" which encompassed the elements of fire and light, while her father has the aspect "shimmering gold" with the elements of light and metal. All she needed was to have a particularly strong aspect of light. Something like "glittering diamonds" sounded good. It sounded rare, and light based, and wealthy, just the way her father liked. Of course, it's not like she got to choose her element; she simply gets what she was born with and that's it, the die has long since been cast.

And so she waited. Her bloodline test was at twelve years old and she could theoretically develop both bloodline and aspect at that age as well, but it was extremely rare. Instead, most magic bearers developed between 14 and 16 where they could finally claim adulthood and attend their debutante in the following months. It was with a heavy heart that Dahlia waited for that day to come. She worked constantly, never slowing down and hardly resting. In that time, she dedicated her existence to being someone her parents would be proud of once she finally received her aspect of light. The abuse could be accepted if it meant she would be happy in just a couple years.

That couple of years became longer. At 14 years of age nothing happened and she held her breath each day of every year, expecting to finally feel the mana within her start to coalesce but it didn't happen by 16 which was typically the latest year to develop. To go beyond was not unheard of but… To call it unfortunate may have been an understatement. As her age increased, her parents' ire increased along with it. Perfection was no longer just expected. It wasn't even good enough. Nothing could please the Baron and Baroness as whenever they looked upon their daughter, they only felt rage. It seemed like every single aspect of her existed to make fools out of them.

The suffering Dahlia endured during those long years would be hard to overstate and the amount of physical and mental abuse a pair of nobles could perform was clearly demonstrated time and time again. Dahlia's already fractured and frail mentality cracked more and more until she was held together by a thread and the hope of receiving the light aspect. One day. Soon. That's all she needed.

As time dragged on, her studies increased. Her political knowledge was still quite poor as her parents had some form of complex regarding being a lower class of nobility, and so while historically she was fine, her understanding of modern politics, social geography, etc. was sorely lacking. With her anticipated debutante coming, she was finally allowed to study the basics so she didn't embarrass the Lionysus name. Alongside this new (and rather boring) topic, Dahlia also reinforced her desire to perfect magic theory, swearing that once she could finally use magic, everyone's opinion would change.

And more years passed. It wasn't until she was half way through her 21st year that she felt the stirring of mana finally condensing. The girl who had been a total shut-in, secluded from the world her whole life would finally get everything she wanted! Getting a light based aspect to undo the family's shame, finally awakening her dormant bloodline that no matter how "muddy" was better than living without anything at all, and finally having her debutante where she could see the world. She would see people and interact with them and it would be the sweetest reward.

With a skip in her step, she had immediately gone to tell her parents the news and… while they weren't exactly bouncing off the walls, some of their derision died down as their daughter finally did something right for once. Quickly, they began to organise everything that was needed. A collection of trusted professionals to measure magical aptitude, awakened bloodline, aspect, etc. Then a separate planning committee was formed to get ready for the debutante that would be right around the corner.

The Baroness became more strict with social lessons at this point but Dahlia couldn't care less; all of her focus was on her anticipation. Just standing in place listening to lectures was hardly manageable, but she somehow made it through. She had a purpose and it was so close.

It was while Dahlia thought about it all and let her mind wander that her mother continued to berate her.

'Oh, right. I'm being lectured right now…'

With some degree of despondency, she refocussed her eyes on her mother.

"You know, your father and I truly don't care about your academic acumen anymore, right? You keep trying like it means something, but if you can't even represent the family then we'll just be selling you off to some noble schmuck. The only reason you're still here is because despite being old enough to have had multiple children, you're still considered a child until your debutante and we couldn't legally marry you off."

Her mother, Sabrina Lionysus, looked her over to make sure the point was sinking in.

"Get it? You've been a waste of space this whole time so you'll finally do something to make us proud by leaving us in exchange for some fuel for the coffers. Being smart doesn't matter. If anything, be stupid, I hear most nobles prefer their brides that way. All you need to do is focus on your social classes and be a pretty little doll."

The words stung, as always. If anything, this was relatively gentle, though the subject matter is certainly different to match current events. Despite it all though, hearing her mother finally seem to wrap up her little tirade, Dahlia just made a faint smile.

"I'm sure that I'll learn as fast as possible so as to not disappoint you mother"

Frankly, the thought of being married off to some nobleman both disgusted and terrified her, but she didn't let it show. Showing any negative emotion would be a punishable offence after all.

So instead she faintly smiled. Smiled and waited for everything to finally become good again.