webnovel
Drew_Sansone
Drew_SansoneLv152yr
2023-03-25 12:32

Yeah I’m hooked. Author you won. Take my coins. For anyone debating trying this there was another in-depth review so I won’t touch on the points they do. Rather the one suggestion rather is to the author, you’ve set up an amazing world with a lot of potential. In my opinion something that could give this world the depth it deserves is lore. “Where did magic originate?” “Who had the idea of integrating bloodlines?” “Where are the origins of these bloodlines and if gone where did they go?” Etc etc. Add short tales and fables with this world you built and thank you for writing!

Liked by 3 people

LIKE
Replies2
AngelAsphodel
AngelAsphodelAuthor

Thank you very much for both your support and feedback! I really do appreciated it and I'll take it to heart. Just in terms of lore, I do want to approach some more stuff and some of what you mentioned has already been covered to some extent in later chapters, but I'm keeping the world building slow. Hearing that you want more lore definitely encourages me to include it more though!

Drew_Sansone
Drew_SansoneLv15

Like I loved the whole bit about her mom’s bloodline and where is came from. Stuff like that is awesome at least to me and adds so much more depth to the story. Keep it up! ❤️

AngelAsphodel:Thank you very much for both your support and feedback! I really do appreciated it and I'll take it to heart. Just in terms of lore, I do want to approach some more stuff and some of what you mentioned has already been covered to some extent in later chapters, but I'm keeping the world building slow. Hearing that you want more lore definitely encourages me to include it more though!
Other Reviews
AngelAsphodel
AngelAsphodelAuthor

This novel is my first, and I've learned and grown a great deal since I started writing it. I expect I'll continue to grow as well, but already I can say that this is something I can feel pride for. Beyond giving myself a good review score though, I do want to officially write a review for myself and hopefully use this as a moment to reflect on myself. Writing Quality: I recognize that I can be wordy and my love of commas can certainly lead to longer sentences than typically found in webnovels. Despite that, I feel that my grammar is typically consistent and I personally enjoy having a writing style that is distinct from many other novels I have read. While those other novels are something I love, I want to stand apart from them while still learning from them, and I feel that I have succeeded in that regard. In addition to grammar and general structure, I find that I genuinely enjoy my own writing when I read it back, and I enjoy my own jokes and descriptions. Naturally, these still have plenty of room to grow, but I am already very happy with my style and the substance of my writing. Stability of Updates: This is my greatest weakness and this is where I dock points from myself. I average 1 to 2 chapters a week, though I have done more in the past. My tendency to get overwhelmed and burnt out prevents me from writing as much as I wish I could, and it is the main place I wish I could improve. Story Development: In terms of story development I tend towards a slower pace and, while this isn't inherently bad, it does make it harder to judge my writing in this category. As the author I know where the story is headed, but there are times I worry that the slow pace might obscure that from the reader. Nevertheless, I always try to be aware of pacing, creating new mini arcs to split up the larger overarching arcs, and introducing new characters, creatures, worldbuilding, and fleshing out the mysteries in the story in hopes of always keeping things fresh. Character Design: My admission of guilt is that many characters I create are based on aspects of myself. That makes them easier and more fun for me to write, while I continue to try and flesh them out to make them more than the piece of me they initially come from. I like my characters and, in a way, they're my children; of course I'm proud! However I recognize that they are not as complex and fleshed out as characters in a proper drama. I try to make an effort to flesh out each character over time, using interactions and occasionally entire chapters to help make them more complex and interesting. It must be understood however that the novel focusses more on how the characters interact with the world and their circumstances, instead of simply being a purely character based drama. From my point of view, my characters are well made and serve their purposes well in my narrative, though they might lack that final spark of life: something I intend to slowly fix as each character gets more time to develop. World Building: Finally, the last category to talk about. In terms of my world, I'm still actively fleshing things out and I know that there is still plenty that even I don't know about my own setting, however I also believe that worldbuilding might be the strongest part of my novel other than the cohesive narrative itself. I try to make the worldbuilding part of the story instead of merely a backdrop and I interweave mysteries and key aspects of the plot into the world itself. I've also attempted to drip feed the world building in hopes that there are fewer info dumps and that, in cases where exposition is necessary, I always try to make it interesting and fit naturally into the story. Without a doubt, plenty more still needs to be revealed in my story's setting, but what I have right now is already something I view at intriguing and a strong foundation and I hope that my readers feel the same. And that's my author review! I wrote this after publishing chapter 170 and I know there's still plenty more story to come. I'll admit that my review score here may be biased. Nonetheless, I am incredibly proud of this novel and am just very very happy to have had the chance to write it and share it with others. It's the first thing I've ever created and felt proud of, so I hope that those who read it enjoy it with me. This review was largely self reflection and avoided spoilers but if anyone reads this and has questions about my own thoughts on more specific parts of my novel, feel free to comment on this review and I'd be happy to discus. I'm not sure if this review was helpful or insightful, but still, thank you for your interest in my novel and I hope you enjoy what you read.

Fallen_Angel_88
Fallen_Angel_88Lv15
Related Stories

Hellbound Heart

[WARNING: MATURE CONTENT] - Izabelle had underestimated the fire she thought she was going to play with tonight. But how could she ever have foreseen that the man she had happened to come across with does not play with just a small fire, but a whole inferno? ___ Excerpt: "You going through this marriage with me might as well be like you digging your own grave. Because the moment you start to want more from me, I will divorce you. And the moment you break your promise and try to fight me… I will ruin you and break you apart completely. Mercilessly. You will regret ever meeting this devil tonight." His threat was given in the same soft but cold voice. But Elle did not even flinch. Her gaze never faltered either. This man was ruthless, and she knew that clearly. His eyes that moment promised nightmares and darkness without any promise of respite. But no matter what he says now, it would still not change her decision. She truly had no other choice. "I understand now…" she said quietly, steeling herself. "Since you don't trust that I will keep my word, how about we do this? You prepare the divorce documents beforehand now and I'll sign it. That way, once you decide to divorce me in the future, the papers would already have been signed and there would be no way I can trouble you about it. You would just need to send it to the lawyers and have it notarized." A heavy silence reigned before his quiet disbelieving laugh broke the silence. "I'm at a loss for words, Princess Izabelle." He looked wickedly amused. But then he started nodding in approval. "Fine, princess. I will marry you." ___ Instagram account: kazzenlx.x facebook page: author_kazzenlx Discord server: https://discord.gg/UGTA3A4 Cover is mine so don't use it. Cover Art by @azihidalgo Logo by @gisel.arts

KazzenlX · Fantasy
4.8
400 Chs

The Crown's Seduction

[Warning: r18+/strong mature content] He is her salvation. She, his demise. Yet, he refuses to let her go… Mineah, the youngest Princess of Ebodia, was cursed at birth to remain untainted and bring misfortune to those around her. This prophecy looms over her like a dark cloud, growing bigger every year it does not come to pass. She exists in hushed rumors as a pitiful figure - fragile, meek, unwanted. Underneath that mask is a strong and feisty vixen worthy of being a queen. And this would-be queen has set her eyes on breaking her curse, even if that means tricking the most cunning vampire ever born. Nikolai, though reclusive and enigmatic, is revered by the Kingdom of Valcrez as a wise and powerful ruler. Unbeknownst to his loyal subjects, his image of perfection is a web of lies that if exposed can send their kingdom and everything they hold dear crumbling beneath their feet. When these two find their paths crossed in a marriage alliance, the game of Crown's Seduction begins. But just who is the hunter and who is the prey? ******** Excerpt: “Why are you stripping naked in front of me?” she questioned with a frown, doing little to hide the irritation in her voice. Her goal was to capture only his heart, not his whole body! “Am I not allowed to have a bath with my wife?” he remarked with a cold tone. “I purposely asked for a big tub to just make sure that the two of us will fit in it together.” She sighed, not tearing her gaze away from him as she regained her composure. Seeing him smirk she forced herself to get comfortable as he spoke. “That’s more like it. You said it yourself that no one forced you into marrying me. Instead, you offered and volunteered yourself willingly for it, so I expect that you’ll be confident enough to share a bath with your husband,” Nikolai confidently stated. “After all, we’ll do more than this soon enough.” Shameless… Preventing herself from rolling her eyes, she managed to give him a smile as she said, “Don’t blame me if you die on me then.” **** Note: Volume 1: Main Story Status - Completed (Chapters 1 to 403) Volume 2: Side Story Status - Completed (Chapters 404 to 472) Volume 3: Side Story Status - Completed (Chapters 473 to 491) **** PS: Commissioned Book Cover owned by the Author! Do not use it!

Eustoma_Reyna · Fantasy
4.8
494 Chs

The Alpha's Fated Outcast: Rise Of The Moonsinger.

“I will not be defined as a ‘wolfless deviant’ I will not be a pawn in the 'games Alphas play' And I refuse to be mated to the stranger who crashed into my life and turned everything upside down… Only that might be my biggest challenge yet.” Those were the words Lyla chanted to herself as she left the annual werewolf gala, drenched in her sweat and her pheromones. Only days ago, she was a happy teenager existing in the human world – trying to get through college and go far away, forget everything she’s been through and start life afresh but now, she’s in the middle of the gala, sprawled on the ground with her desires in everyone’s face and Alpha Ramsey Kincaid – the Lycan leader of the White Moon Throne extending his hands towards her. If she takes it, she would bring dishonour to her family because she is in no state to be mingling with anyone, talk more of the Lycan leader who was out of her league and if she refuses, she risks being sent to the pack prison for not taking better care of herself during her heat - Yes, it was a crime for her to be without a wolf. But when he touches her, something inside her stirs… Desires? Yes! Powers hidden by the moon goddess? Yes! And maybe just maybe, the stirrings of her missing wolf whose voice can calm feral wolves and heal … Can she learn to trust this man whose mouth says a different thing and his hands speak another language or would she become a pawn – a piece of chess in the games ‘Alphas play’? One thing’s for certain- Lyla Woodlands was done being the pack’s little, dirty ‘wolfless deviant’. It’s time this wolfless wonder showed them what she’s made of. #Slow burn #Wispy old prophecies # Love Triangle - ML and FL best friend #Villian in love with FL Join my discord group: https://discord.gg/t2w9NgC4

Ejiofor_Dorcas · Fantasy
4.5
335 Chs

Chosen by Fate, Rejected by the Alpha

Eighteen-year-old Trinity is unlike any other werewolf in her pack. For one, there were unusual circumstances surrounding her birth, for another, she is the only pack member to never shift into a wolf form. So now she doesn't quite belong anywhere. Not quite human and not quite wolf. She thought she would be able to live her life how she wanted when she had turned eighteen. Go to college, make some friends, have some fun. But what is she to do when the dangerously sexy Alpha literally falls right into her lap? "I am not human, and I am not a wolf. I don't belong anywhere..." "...we both know that no one is going to mate with me, and even if they did, they would just reject me anyway." What is the sexy, brooding Alpha going to do? The elders are making him hold these ridiculous parties to search for a mate. He doesn't want a mate, but he knows he needs a mate to finish the Alpha Circle. Without a mate, a Luna for the pack, his people would suffer. And what is he going to do when he stumbles across the girl that fate has chosen for him and he finds out she has no wolf? "This cannot be!" I roared. "There is no way that I can mate with a girl that does not even have a wolf. She will be too weak. She will be inferior. She will not be strong enough to be a Luna." "I simply could not accept her as my mate. Not fully. It wasn't safe for her. She would get herself killed. And she would bring my pack down with her." When these two meet, sparks will surely fly. But will it be from passion, or their constant fighting? Neither of them wanted a mate. Neither of them wants the mate that fate chose for them. And neither of them can make that mate bond go away. What are they going to do now that they're literally stuck with each other? ***Rating Warning*** Adult Language Violence Strong Sexual Content THIS BOOK IS UNDERDER AN EXCLUSIVE CONTRACT AND IT IS NOT TO BE POSTED OR PUBLISHED ANYWHERE ELSE. Follow me to find my other books or ask me question, thanks for reading!!! FOLLOW ME AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK https://discord.gg/8wrYgHqemB https://twitter.com/DCinMI https://www.facebook.com/deni.chance.71 https://www.instagram.com/dcinmi87/ ***COVER ART IS THE SOLE PROPERTY OF THE AUTHOR AND WAS ILLUSTRATED BY VICTORIA DAYEN OF MSPUGLUVER'S ART***

Deni_Chance · Fantasy
4.8
1197 Chs

The Mighty Mage

[Warning: Don't judge on the basis of the first 200 chapters. ] Gu Jin the boss of a top mafia organization was stunned to find that she had suddenly arrived in Magic World. She thought she transmigrated in a novel about Magic, and she became a supporting character who would die protecting the Female lead, and this is all due to her incompetency in magic. Gu Jin laughed 'incompetency?' She can die in every possible way but not due to incompetency. Before transmigration, she was the queen of the mafia world, a strong-willed iron lady. After transmigration, she became a good-for-nothing? She was nothing but a potential mage. She took an oath to become a Heaven Rank Mage. Every colleague of hers despised her until one day they got to know about her potential. Incompetency? She has a special body type which grants her power to have multiple elements while others only had few. Not talented enough? While others were cultivating and having trouble learning alchemy, she cultivated, made formulas of her own, and learned other things too. Is poor? Sorry with her talent in business and alchemy, she had built a business empire of her own and ranks among the top rich individuals! Does she have no supporters? The citizens of Fujio worship her like a god. Her popularity is more than that of the female lead. Has no family? So what! The little boy she adopted is Beast Tamer, the little girl she rescued was a Mystic cultivator. But the drama began when her biological family picked her up. Turns out the Female Lead was the fake daughter and Gu Jin was the real daughter. The Female lead warned her, "Eldest Brother, Second Brother, and Third Sister are too cold, if they ignore you and you feel hurt I will apologize on their behalf, after all, I am their beloved person." Gu Jin didn't have much hope from her biological family, since the female lead was so lovable. She was sure that they wouldn't love her. However... The eldest brother of the family patted Gu Jin's head, "I bought this Divine Level Artifact for fun, you can have it." Gu Jin: "..." The second brother of the family who had a cold nature chuckled, "Who dares to taunt Gu Jin? I will chop off their finger...I mean I will have a civilized talk with them! " Gu Jin:"..." The eldest sister of the family secretly sneaked into Gu Jin's room every day and claimed to have a headache, "Sister Jin~ Let me sleep with you~ I am having a headache." Gu Jin: "..." Was the female lead telling her the truth? Why was everything so different? .............................................. Follow the journey of Gu Jin to become a powerful mage. This is an original work. My English is not so good so please bear with me.

LittleRabbit1111 · Fantasy
4.2
491 Chs