Emrys_Herean
Tulisan
membaca
19
Membaca buku-buku
First of all, that was unexpected a duel between omegas in a combat duel I like it and rather than use gladiators sword you need to do some research about the weapons or kinds of swords that gladiators used like the Gladius, and Siccae, Gladius graceus, and more.
Signature weapon, a kind of typical plot on a fantasy genre however, this is the first time I see this being use in an omegaverse novel, I like it, such an innovative idea you use for your book even though it is cliche or a typical thing on a fantasy novel but you use it on an omegaverse novel which almost all of those stories are modern and no such "Signature Weapon" and the main character truly shouts OP.
In summary of my 20 comments for your 20 chapters, I love the story even though some scenarios are cliche you still succeed to twist it and writing something unexpected and original. The words are chosen well, and used well, as the emotions that each character has I can feel it and the design I can imagine it. But again, the spacing, the use of commas, the spelling (just a little bit), and the capitalization of i. Lastly, I have a recommendation for you or a tip maybe. you used deep or not too simple English words or not common to some or many readers, you also use some mythological entities out there, and many more. Therefore, I suggest you used to try to make a dictionary-like or when the chapter will end, on the last past you will put certain words and for example: Uriel- is the blah blah blah Rah- is the blah blah blah Husky- blah blah blah Enigma- blah blah blah And also try to add the words or the race you created in this novel, I forgot the name of the enemy they are fighting like the one starting with a, 4.4 this is my review for your novel "Tryst Under The War" with 20 chapters for now.
PERFECT ROMANTIC CHAPTER! okay, the sit on my lap!!!!!! and the male lead cooking for the main character ahemmmm green flag!!!!!!!!!!!!! let the male lead seduce the main character or the other way around!!!!! and then a wild chapter will bless us!
Is it now???? or the next chapter for theeeee ahem ahem my critique is informal now but it's not my fault hehe, I will not rate this but I feel the moneyyyy moneyyy rich vibes daddy and marriage ummmm YES jk hehe, and, heat? ahhhhh!!!! bai bai see you in chapter 20!
"Wanna try it out on the bed." AHHHHH! okay Chris and Vinanciel I ship both of them my favorite character and that enigmaaaa AHHHH! okay okay now everything is connected not completely, is it truly a fight against the Gods or not?
Don't be surprised I am a fast reader,, especially at night HAHAHAHA, another fight an actual fight against A DEITY AND A HUMAN COMMANDERRRRR!!!!!! ahhhh okay okay and it's my favorite character in this book ahhhhh! ahem I will give it another 5 sorry no more to comment, because I love the character so much then mortal vs immortal sheeshh okay yo ugot it now.
VINANCIEL IS WHAT!!!!! okay commander (right?) This is unexpected again. I will give you another 5 because I love this character his personality and then omg he is also a commander? AHHHHHH! okay ahem, the main character is lucky to have him as a friend. Okay the words I give it a 5, the flow of the story I give it a 5, and the characters I give it a 5! okay there done my rating is done as 5!
I gave it a 5, you received 5 three times from me now. Ummm ahhhh! spicy omg~! ahem I need to be formal. I love the words that were used in this chapter and, the sudden cute seductive bunny (jk or not) and the cute beast (hehehehhehehhe) ahem kiss and do more omg! this is too earlyyyyyyy.
A Diety and A Prince clashed while trying to save the main character. Thumbs for you and the last part sheesh, he's sleeping. AHHHHHHH! Wait I need to formally give you feedback, well chapter 14 is good, much better than chapters 12 and 13 together with my own opinion only. But I still notice the i is still not being capitalized, and lastly, the dialogue another thumbs up for you. 4,89 out of 5 for you in this chapter,
So there is a royalty here okay good, even though some dialogue in this chapter is cliche I still love it because it or like it because umm! I can imagine it hehe and the references of the spell/chant, the words that were chosen, and the scenario perfectly suit each other I like it and maybe love it too so 4.59 out of 5 is my rate.
I am always hyped with this kind of conflict or scenario, I love it a-s-f. The story is changing not just a typical omegaverse but something else. I love it, continue the work I wanna read more until this book reaches the conclusion or epilogue. I give this a 5.
The genre that I thought mainly changed immediately when I combine the previous chapter and this one woahhh! okay okay, I should try not to feel cliche if I can for the next chapters. Ahhhh! I truly have a thing for deities hehehe, the main character is not a typical omega I love itttt slayyyyyyy okay I will give 4.9 out of 5 there.
This chapter is unexpected, meeting with the deities, okay it was unexpected 100% and the main character is or has power together with fighting skills? Unexpected again, I thought it was just one time during the third chapter (third? maybe second) and a bit cliche on the future part but, still good. 4.8 out of 5.
I love his friend the rich omega, I love his personality sheeshhh. Now the main character is a hero hehe, and the new mystery mm good a good original I give you a point for that. The flow of the story is smooth or smoother than smooth hehe, though the main character's replies are expected because it's similar to other omegaverse. In summary, 4.6 out of 5 this is my rating for this chapter.
Honest critique, thank goodness I didn't read this chapter yesterday. The sudden trauma or the main character's past well I already read stories with the same past or experience with their fathers (or step-fathers) therefore, I will consider it a cliche. Well, you maintained the flow again but the ending, I like it when the ml came, and aww such a sweet vibe in the end. However, Rius is 18 right??? What about the male lead???????????!
The flow in this chapter is smooth and relaxing, not too much intense but not too bland. Well-balanced vibes flow from the beginning until the end and there is not much to critique here you maintain the flow or didn't make your readers lazy or tired and, the spacing and commas again. I will rate it as 4.5 out of 5.