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The Idle System

Auteur: Pegaz
Fantaisie
Actuel · 2.3M Affichage
  • 13 Shc
    Contenu
  • 4.1
    117 audimat
  • NO.200+
    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

There's a single ambition no man can reject: Immortality. For John, death was merely the beginning. Transmigrating into a new world granted him an opportunity to change his view on life. With power and immortality as new goals, he is willing to pay any price. Unfortunately, there are those willing to take advantage of him and his unfamiliarity with a new world. Shadows behind the curtains, unwilling to reveal themselves, will trick him into doing their bidding. Now, John faces an entire kingdom on his own. Deceived? Conned? They don't care. His actions carry a sin none of them are willing to forgive. With the world as an enemy, John will fight to accomplish his goals. His path will be stopped by no one. Read this novel to enjoy a journey of self-discovery, ambition and revenge. Inspired by classical LitRPG, Xianxia and Fantasy, Idle System is a new take on these genres. If you've enjoyed novels like Ready Player One, Main Character Hides his Strength or Dodge Tank, then you're bound to love this book The Idle System is available as an ebook. (Professionally edited + new plot twist) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HNKPKZ3 I will be posting the same amount of chapters on RoyalRoad.com

Étiquettes
10 étiquettes
Chapter 1The Idle System

Regardless of the platform you play on, running idle games can be quite fun. Whether it's on a desktop or mobile device, for the patient and wealthy, there are many rewards to reap.

John was a thirty-eight-year-old man, just your typical and ordinary guy. He worked as a forklift driver, he read books—and in his leisure time, he played computer games. With no family and only a few friends, he bided his time running idle games at his computer.

A couple clicks here, a few more there; his typical routine involved running the game before work and then progressing in the story when he returned home. It was the perfect distraction to keep him from thinking too much.

On this particular morning, John left his house for work as per his daily routine. However, as he started to walk, he began to feel a slight tingle in his arm. Thinking nothing of it, he shook his arm around a bit and continued on to his car. He inserted his keys into the door, when…

BANG!

A tightness clamped around his chest. John stumbled, struck by a sudden dizziness. His breath drew short and sweat beaded up on his brow. Overwhelmed, he tumbled backwards onto the concrete, hitting his head.

In that moment, all he could think about was how his past deeds would merit him a one-way ticket to Hell—despite him being an atheist. And as his panicked thoughts clouded up, one question stood out among the rest.

'Is this the end?'

John blacked out.

Eyelids slowly flickered open. John drudged back into consciousness, his brain still a bit hazy. He pictured himself in a hospital bed, with a cute nurse waiting for him to wake up. Still only half awake, he couldn't help but smile.

This smile quickly faded, however, when reality hit him. He was face down on the top of a cliff, head hanging over the edge. Looking down, John could see nothing but the tops of trees. He could even hear a loud buzzing sound a small distance away.

Brain snapping back to full consciousness, John instantly fell into a panic and crawled backwards as fast as he could, his breath catching short as he tried to calm himself down.

Chest heaving with slow and deep breaths, John took in his surroundings. He was by the edge of a river, one that turned into a waterfall over the cliff he woke up at. To his left were a few boulders, nothing too interesting. There was a cave entrance behind him, hidden away in a mountain. Eyes following the mountain upwards, the top was obscured by the clouds.

John stood up and decided to approach the cave entrance. As he got closer, he saw the opening was only about two or three feet high and five feet wide. He crouched down onto his knees and tried to look inside, only to be met with darkness.

A small grey box caught his attention against the otherwise pitch black surroundings. It hovered at the upper right corner of his vision and didn't seem like a tangible object. John shook his head. Curiously, the box followed him as he left.

Releasing a sigh, John returned to the riverbank where he could lay down and contemplate. He cupped his hands and scooped up some water, careful to avoid the pull of the current. After a few long drinks, he sat back up and examined the grey box, which still hovered at the edge of his vision.

The box was just that: a box. At the centre of it was a character that resembled the letter 'i', but besides that it had no significant characteristics. Thinking it was linked to his brain somehow, John tried willing it open but to no avail. He tried magic words, passwords… nothing worked.

Giving up, John laid his head back on the ground. After a while, it occurred to him that he still had no idea how he got there. The last thing he remembered was being in pain. A heart attack, perhaps?

His brain could not make sense of this. From wishing to see cute nurses to exploring and then to investigating a weird box… He completely skipped over the part where he was supposed to worry about where he was and how he got here.

In the midst of being stunned by his own trace of thought, the grey box at the corner of his vision suddenly expanded. It resembled an icon that grew bigger and bigger, until it completely obscured the right side of his vision. Letters appeared, turning into words, as if someone was typing.

Loading…

Welcome to the Idle System 1.0

Name: John

Age: 15

Idlers: 1/1

HP: 10

Attack: N/A

Defence: N/A

Stamina: N/A

After he read the words that appeared, the system seemed to shrink, only for another pop-up to replace it. At the top of this new window, the title read 'Introduction' in a large font.

Even though it was somehow far-fetched, John had an inkling of what happened to him. He let out a shaky sigh of relief.

'At least, I wasn't thrown in the deep end to sink or swim on my own...'

After the title, he looked down to read the text below the introduction.

Each Idler takes one second off the timing needed to complete a level.

For example, if Level 1 of Palm Toughness' power level takes 3,600 seconds (60 minutes) to complete, then placing 1 Idler will take 3,600 seconds to complete. 2 Idlers will take 1,800 (30 minutes) seconds to complete, and 3 Idlers will take 1,200 (20 minutes) seconds to complete.

As the levels progress, the time needed to complete the next level is longer.

Depending on skill, level, and how many Idlers you have assigned to an area, the time it takes to complete a level can vary from a few seconds to a few days, months, or even years.

After reading the short message in the Introduction, the text window closed immediately. A new one reading 'The Idle System' replaced it. Along the top of the display, John saw another message.

Welcome to the Idle System 1.0.

To open the system, think 'open'. To close the system, think 'close'.

Deciding to check the basics, John looked over his current skill list.

Attack List:

Palm Toughness - Idlers 0/99, Power Level - 0/100, Speed - 0/100, Ignore Defence - 0/100

Knuckle Damage - Idlers 0/99, Power Level - 0/100, Speed - 0/100, Ignore Defence - 0/100

Elbow Damage - Idlers 0/99, Power Level - 0/100, Speed - 0/100, Ignore Defence - 0/100

Knee Damage - Idlers 0/99, Power Level - 0/100, Speed - 0/100, Ignore Defence - 0/100

Feet Damage - Idlers 0/99, Power Level - 0/100, Speed - 0/100, Ignore Defence - 0/100

"So the attack list has five skills…" John muttered in observation. He took note that each of the skills maxed out at Level 100. From the looks of it, this system was more about bodybuilding than using weapons.

Skimming through the lists, he knew the best thing to do at the start was to either increase the Max Idlers or the Idler Speed. In the long run, this would allow him to get more skills in a shorter time frame, as opposed to getting something big that would only last in the short term.

With this strategy in mind, he eyed the Maximum Workers skill, brain already in work mode.

'Put an Idler there…'

Immediately, the 0/99 changed to 1/99 and a timer appeared at the end of the row. He scanned through all the skills in the "Misc" list while the clock ran down.

Misc List:

Idlers Speed - Idlers 0/99, -1 Second Per Idler - 0/9

Maximum Idlers - Idlers 1/99, +1 Max Idlers - 0/2159, Time - 30s

Maximum Workers - Idlers 0/99, +1 Idler Workers - 0/2061

Analyser Eye - Idlers 0/99, Basic - 0/1, Advanced - 0/1, Godly - 0/1

??? - Idlers 0/99, ??? - 0/1 (unlocks after Stomach Acid 1)

??? - Idlers 0/99, ??? - 0/1, ??? - 0/1 (unlocks after Thinking Speed 50)

??? - Idlers 0/99, ??? - 0/1, ??? - 0/1 (unlocks after Senses 8)

Spotting the '30s', John figured the 's' must mean seconds in time. Going along with this, he assumed it was the same as the games he played at home. Minutes would be 'm', hours would be 'h', and god forbid, John didn't want to even think of what 'y' would stand for.

While his current Idler worked, he glanced at the top of the display. The Idlers changed from 1/1 to 0/1. John concluded that his current maximum amount of Idlers was 1. He currently had no more Idlers free to put anywhere else.

Thirty seconds passed and he heard a 'ding!' sound, something like a small bell being struck lightly. His attention was redirected to the top of the display again. It now read 'Idlers: 2/2'. He put them both back into the 'Maximum Idlers' category.

'So, after each level is complete, it doesn't carry onto the next level. Instead, it just removes the Idlers, which means that each level you have to redo it, John mused over the workings of the game with a frown. If you're busy when it finishes, you're going to waste time. What a pain...'

Complaints aside, the man glanced at the display once more. The list now read something different.

Maximum Idlers - Idlers 2/99, +1 Max Idlers - 1/2159, Time - 90s

While waiting for the remaining ninety seconds to finish, John skimmed over the Defence list's skills.

Defence List:

Flesh Strength - Idlers 0/99, Regeneration - 0/100

Organ Strength - Idlers 0/99, Regeneration - 0/100, Lung Capacity - 0/100, Stomach Acid - 0/1

Blood Capacity - Idlers 0/99, Cell Speed - 0/100, Transportation - 0/10, White Cells - 0/10

Bone Density - Idlers 0/99, Toughness - 0/100, Marrow - 0/100, Cell Production 0/10

Muscle Elasticity - Idlers 0/99, Cardiac - 0/100, Skeletal - 0/100, Smooth - 0/100

Mind Strength - Idlers 0/99, Thinking Speed - 0/100, Memory - 0/2, Senses - 0/10

Elbow Joint - Idlers 0/99, Friction - 0/100, Toughness - 0/100

Knee Joint - Idlers 0/99, Friction - 0/100, Toughness - 0/100

Shoulder Joint - Idlers 0/99, Friction - 0/100, Toughness - 0/100

Ankle Joint - Idlers 0/99, Friction - 0/100, Toughness - 0/100

'There's a lot more here than on the Attack and Misc lists. More than likely, these are going to be the primary skills.'

John glanced over at the remaining time and did some quick mental math.

'So, the first level was 30 seconds with one Idler—that's easy enough to calculate. But Level 2 takes 90 seconds with two Idlers, each Idler taking 1 second off of each. That means the actual completion time was 180 seconds, three times longer than Level 1.

If it continues like this, Level 3 will take… err… 540 seconds to finish. And if I put all three Idlers in, it'll take… 180 seconds.'

John took a quick look back at the remaining time on the clock. There were 10 seconds left. He watched the clock countdown and saw, to his shock, that 10 seconds dropped to 8 seconds. He instantly put two and two together, realising that the total time was ninety seconds because each Idler knocked off one second each. His mind went blank for a moment as this sunk in.

'I'm an idiot.'

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Critiques
Aimé
Nouveau
Fleeting_Cloud
Fleeting_CloudLv11
TomRiffle101
TomRiffle101Lv11
Fatality
FatalityLv5

This story has a lot of potential, but unfortunately the subpar writing is really letting it down. Before accusing me of hating this story, allow me to explain. Firstly, the author capitalizes too much. Any word that is not a name nor the first word of a sentence does not have to be capitalized, unless it's a proper noun. – e.g. a Christian church, Canadian whisky, a Shakespearean sonnet. Secondly, there are way too many plot holes in the story with several flaws in logic. I would also recommend that if you were to create a system based on numbers, the least you could do is to make sure your calculations are correct, as there are quite a few obvious mistakes I won't point out. Several terms were also used incorrectly. For example, instead of "artery system", you should have used "circulatory system". I understand that you may not be aware that you have been using incorrect terms but it's essential for good storytelling. I will not elaborate further on this issue, as its something that you have to figure out on your own. I would suggest reading English published books that have been professionally edited; it will be helpful in improving your grammar and vocabulary. I have also noticed that you made several mistakes with the usage of past tense, present tense, singluar and plural verbs. I might be coming off as nitpicky but as the saying goes, "God is in the detail". Bad grammar can cause descriptions to appear strange to readers and interrupt the story flow, as they will have to go back several paragraphs to make sense of what is happening. I hope the author will notice this review and improve on his writing, as the theme of this story has too much potential to be wasted. I wrote this review with the hope that 'original stories' in our community will gain more exposure and the *******ish writing will be in the future, not so *******ish.

SOUTIEN