webnovel
KoFu_
KoFu_Lv66yr
2018-06-09 04:34

I loved your idea to the earthling to arrive to a place only to discover that others already did bring all the technology and stuff from earth . That was something that didn't think possible. That was the main reason I really tried to read it. I mean it. I really tried. But alas I dropped it. The info dumps are terrible. It was so fucking bad that I skipped them and that was like 70% of the chapter. For me it made no sense to divide differents parts of the body. You could just create a stat named body or physical strength and be done with that. Make it 1000 levels and be done with that. Focus more on leveling skills or arts could be a cool twist. Maybe even tried to learn an ancient skill and leveling that up to revived it. But no, you decided that is was essential to include knee strength like our mc was a MMA fighter. Your idea is great. Really great. But your info dumps kill the novel. Reduce them as little as possible. And dont mention so much the numbers, this is not a mathematics forum. I wonder if someone even bother to check your calculations. Be brief about the calculations. And if you like to mention it. Put it on the author thoughts or in the auxiliary volumes. Tl, dr: Excellent idea, info dumps and so much numbers killed the novel for me. Solid 2. Recommended for people who like to read between info dumps.

The Idle System

Pegaz
4.1
13 Chs

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Other Reviews
FakeFe
FakeFeLv2

It's complicated yet good novel. So, Author plays Idling to Rule Gods eh? The Idle System is likely 80% same as the game system in it. Cheers!

6yr

Silkjackel
SilkjackelLv13

Good job keep it up🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒

6yr
Fleeting_Cloud
Fleeting_CloudLv11

Reveal spoiler

6yr
Pegaz
PegazAuthor

Currently there's a little bug that shows some chapter out of order but I assure you that it's client side. The chapters are properly placed. If you refresh the browser it should work eventually, if not then please wait till it's fixed.

6yr
Unoz
UnozLv5

Good story, i like it. Vote vote vote. Cursed 140 characters, cursed 140 characters, cursed 140 characters, cursed 140 characters, cursed 140 characters

6yr
Seronis
SeronisLv5

Story wasnt bad at all. Until author ran out of ideas, put up some donation links, got money, and disappeared. Story is incomplete and abandoned after a cash grab that didnt even have the respect to use the Power Stone system of the site he was using to host.

6yr
HelloItMee
HelloItMeeLv5

YOU NEED TO READ IT ITS FAST PACED ITS GOOD ITS SYSTEM ITS OP MC ITS KILLING BAD GUYS ITS WORLD TRAVELLERS ITS ALSO OTHER WORLD TRAVELLERS ITS IMMORTALITY ITS THE DAO ITS VERY NICE

6yr
TomRiffle101
TomRiffle101Lv11

Reveal spoiler

6yr
LonelySago
LonelySagoLv12

I'm loving the story so far.. The MC isn't dumb, and also the residents of the world. As for the technicalities.. I'm not that proficient in grammar so i'll skip it. Good story, please continue the good work! Support +1 👍🏽

6yr
Fatality
FatalityLv5

This story has a lot of potential, but unfortunately the subpar writing is really letting it down. Before accusing me of hating this story, allow me to explain. Firstly, the author capitalizes too much. Any word that is not a name nor the first word of a sentence does not have to be capitalized, unless it's a proper noun. – e.g. a Christian church, Canadian whisky, a Shakespearean sonnet. Secondly, there are way too many plot holes in the story with several flaws in logic. I would also recommend that if you were to create a system based on numbers, the least you could do is to make sure your calculations are correct, as there are quite a few obvious mistakes I won't point out. Several terms were also used incorrectly. For example, instead of "artery system", you should have used "circulatory system". I understand that you may not be aware that you have been using incorrect terms but it's essential for good storytelling. I will not elaborate further on this issue, as its something that you have to figure out on your own. I would suggest reading English published books that have been professionally edited; it will be helpful in improving your grammar and vocabulary. I have also noticed that you made several mistakes with the usage of past tense, present tense, singluar and plural verbs. I might be coming off as nitpicky but as the saying goes, "God is in the detail". Bad grammar can cause descriptions to appear strange to readers and interrupt the story flow, as they will have to go back several paragraphs to make sense of what is happening. I hope the author will notice this review and improve on his writing, as the theme of this story has too much potential to be wasted. I wrote this review with the hope that 'original stories' in our community will gain more exposure and the *******ish writing will be in the future, not so *******ish.

6yr
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