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Worthy "BL"

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He asked himself, "Am I worthy of being loved, or am I destined for heartbreak?" For 14 years, Ben felt like he wasn't worthy of anyone's love. At age 10, his mother left them. His father used him as a punching bag. When his life changes suddenly, he's unsure how to react. Little by little, he accepts those who promise a happy existence. Several types of love are offered to him. 1) A parent's love 2) Friendship 3) Romantic love A figure of his past threatens everything

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Chapter 1Chapter 1

5/25/2054

It was 6 o'clock and the morning sun had just risen when the 14-year-old was jolted from his slumber by a loud rapping on his door.

"Benedict Johnson, get your fucking ass in the kitchen and fix me breakfast!" his father ordered. The boy knew from the slurring of the words that his father was drunk again. The teenager wanted to say, "Fix it yourself," but he knew that if he did, he'd get smacked. His father was always abusive, but things got worse when his mother left them four years ago.

Ben walked into the kitchen and felt his father's eyes fall on him. He took a quiet breath and stepped up to the fridge.

"What took so long, brat?" his father glared at him and asked.

"I was dressing," Ben mumbled.

"What was that?" the man asked rudely. His tone made Ben cringe.

"I was getting dressed," Ben said, carrying a container of eggs and a package of sausage patties to the counter.

Ben ignored his father's grumbling and grabbed two fry pans from the cabinet. He set them on the stove and turned the burners to low heat. He cracked four eggs into one and placed four patties into the other.

"If you burn it, you're cooking it again," his father said. Ben had the urge to reply but decided to keep his mouth shut. His lower lip was still cut and sore from where his father had smacked him the night before.

"Hurry up," he ordered. "I'm hungry,"

Ben had finished filling his father's plate and was about to fill his own plate when the man said, "Next time you make me wait, you can go without." "Now, sit down and keep your mouth shut," he said. Ben filled his own plate and sat down across from his father. He kept his blue eyes lowered and quietly ate his meal.

Once his father rose from the kitchen table and left the room, Ben breathed out and relaxed in his chair. He wasn't sure how long he had been holding his breath. His head hurt, black spots were in front of his eyes, and his ears rang. Ben closed his eyes and waited for the pain to subside.

Ben slowly opened his eyes and resumed eating when the symptoms subsided. The food had turned cold, but he still ate it.

"Sometimes, I wish I wasn't born in this world," he thought to himself. He had no friends, no mother around, and a father who acted like he hated him. Worse, he was born an omega. Ben finished eating, rose from the table, and took the dishes to the sink. He washed, dried, and put them away before heading to his room.

Ben laid down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He was bored, so he grabbed his laptop and randomly browsed the internet. An advertisement for a chatroom his age popped up, catching his interest. Ben looked over the requirements for signing up and noticed it needed a nickname and an email. He stared at the screen and thought about a nickname he could use. After pondering for several seconds, he chose the name "RO" as his nickname. Since this was his first time, he acted as an onlooker.

"Hello, RO, and welcome to our chatroom," the owner said. Ben noticed the person's nickname was "KS."

"Um, hello," he typed.

"Are you new?" KS asked.

"To this whole chat thing?" he asked. "Yes," he said.

"Well, welcome to our room, and make yourself comfortable," KS typed. Ben turned his head when footsteps approached his door.

"I must go," he typed. "I'll be back if the room is still open," he added. Ben bookmarked the site and shut down his laptop.

Ben had just sat his laptop on the nightstand when the door opened and his father entered.

"I'm going to work, so you stay in this house," he said. "If you step one foot out of this house, I'm going to bust your ass," he said. Ben sighed deeply and said, "Yes, sir," and watched him leave. He sat on the bed and listened for his dad's car to disappear into the silence. When he was absolutely sure that his father had gone, Ben grabbed his laptop and opened it to the chatroom.

"Oh, there you are," KS said. "You left so quickly," he said.

"I'm sorry," Ben apologized.

Ben noticed an administrator enter the room. He decided to lurk for a while and see who came in and chatted.

"Hey, RO, what grade are you in?" KS asked. Ben wasn't sure whether to lie or tell the truth.

"I'll start high school in August," Ben said.

"Oh, you're a freshman?" KS asked. Ben stayed silent for several seconds.

"Yes," he said in a quiet tone.

"That's alright," KS said. "I'll be a sophomore," he said. "What school will you be at?" he asked. Ben paused. "I'm not sure," Ben said. "It depends if I'm going to a regular school or being shipped off to one for omegas," he said.

Ben watched the screen and waited for anyone to start typing. It was as if the conversation killed the mood in the chatroom. He was about to close out when the typing resumed.

"I'm sorry; your post startled me," KS said. "I guess you and your family aren't close," he said. The subject caused tears to form in Ben's eyes.

"Can we change the subject, please?" Ben typed.

"Sure, does anyone else have anything to discuss?" KS asked.

The others talked about various topics, from being lazy during the summer to emotions about going back to school. Ben sat on the sidelines and watched. He would get an occasional, "Are you okay?" from KS via a private message. Even though the topic hit a nerve, Ben typed, "I'm fine,"

"I was afraid that we had upset you," KS replied. Ben opted out of the private message and typed, "I'm tired." "I'm going to take a nap."

"Have a nice nap," KS said. "I hope you will come in again," he said. Ben shut down the laptop and placed it on his nightstand. He noticed that it was 2 p.m. and knew that his father would be home in three hours. He laid on his side and closed his eyes. Whenever his father was gone, he was able to relax more. Other times, Ben would have his guard up and be jumpy.

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