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YoruOtreu

YoruOtreu

Lv1
2020-09-17 BeigetretenGlobal
-d

Schreiben

7.8h

des Lesens

53

Bücher lesen

Abzeichen

5

Augenblicke

33
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Verschickt

    I really really love this story. It’s worth reading so much. The Art is amazing and the story is so wonderfully crafted with amazing dialogue.

    altalt
    Dawns the Gods
    · URSTOFF
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    Oh god, that was an intense start

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    altalt
    Pandora's Curse: Key To Immortality
    Fantasie · SleepyKola
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Antwortet auf Shionokami

    👍

    altalt
    Endbringer
    Fantasie · Shionokami
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Antwortet auf Shionokami

    Thank you so much. I’m happy that you enjoyed it! 😊

    altalt
    Belle Deep
    Urban · YoruOtreu
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Verschickt

    Good story. I really like the characters and the story, it sort of reminds me of an anime. You can tell you enjoy writing. There are a few mistakes here and there but it doesn’t really detract from the story. Keep working hard!

    altalt
    Endbringer
    Fantasie · Shionokami
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Verschickt

    The story is quite humorous and I think your writing style fits quite well with it. The plot also seems very interesting and I’m already forming theories on as to what is actually happening. I enjoy how blunt the main protagonist is. My one and only recommendation would be that in the earlier chapters the main character would have a thought and then repeat the exact same thing out loud. Sometimes this works but since he’s saying it out loud I find it better to just have the dialogue and add on top of it with the thoughts. Other than that I think you’re doing a good job. I look forward to the author continuing the story.

    altalt
    Zhoro's Universe:Loose Screws
    Fantasie · iam_adh
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    This chapter was really good, great job

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Zhoro's Universe:Loose Screws
    Fantasie · iam_adh
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    So they’re making ternagers amnesiac and then drafting them to war (if not to a mental hospital)

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Zhoro's Universe:Loose Screws
    Fantasie · iam_adh
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    At least it’s customisable

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Zhoro's Universe:Loose Screws
    Fantasie · iam_adh
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    Son as in *son* or as in a friendly way to refer to him?

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Zhoro's Universe:Loose Screws
    Fantasie · iam_adh
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    You wake up without a memory and the first thing you get to do is play 20 questions. Sounds fun

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Zhoro's Universe:Loose Screws
    Fantasie · iam_adh
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    Jaja

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Zhoro's Universe:Loose Screws
    Fantasie · iam_adh
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    Just wanted to say that that eye colour sounds quite beautiful

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Zhoro's Universe:Loose Screws
    Fantasie · iam_adh
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Verschickt

    I love this so much. The drawings are so beautiful and the writing is quite good. You can see the hard work you put into it. Amazing work! Looking forward to reading more.

    altalt
    Dawns the Gods
    · URSTOFF
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Antwortet auf SleepyKola

    Thank you very much. I will take it in account and do some editing. 😊 I appreciate it a lot.

    altalt
    Belle Deep
    Urban · YoruOtreu
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Verschickt

    I really enjoyed reading it. The story is fast paced, slightly too much at the beginning for my liking but I dont think there is anything wrong with that since it suits the tale. The writing is really good and creates a vivid world, making you feel for the character when he loses his sibling. I look forward to reading chapters further down the line.

    altalt
    Axed
    Urban · Noleafyet
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    Straight to the point

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Axed
    Urban · Noleafyet
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    I like the last sentence quite a bit.

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Axed
    Urban · Noleafyet
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    Seems universities dont change tsk tsk

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Axed
    Urban · Noleafyet
    detail
  • YoruOtreu
    YoruOtreu3yr
    Kommentiert

    :(

    Dieses Kapitel wurde gelöscht
    altalt
    Axed
    Urban · Noleafyet
    detail