A cultured talk

Kenshin woke up looking at his Plane, as it was customary. He didn't know how Ei was doing with her own Plane, but he always woke up here while his body was resting outside.

'Being here is the best' he allowed himself a few minutes of procrastination, feeling the sense of calmness he always felt here. 'But my body is probably battered, that last attack was too strong'.

And with that, he disappeared from his Plane.

Missing a faint purple orb slowly materializing on the tree, an orb that hadn't been there before.

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"Dammit" Kenshin woke up with a pained groan. "That little green shit is too strong".

"Green shit?"

Kenshin looked to the side after activating his 'glasses', and saw a confused Barbara next to the bed he was in.

"Yes Miss Sister" Kenshin nodded with a tired sigh. "A green thing, not unlike a Seelie, those dumb fairies, sent me to the bed unconscious".

"But it was my sister who brought you" replied Barbara. "You should have seen how everyone cheered".

"Probably because the 'Princess' was being carried by the 'Knight' right?" asked Kenshin, looking at the ceiling and analysing the fight.

"Yes" Barbara nodded with a mischievous smile. "They were cheering for the Knight to kiss the Princess to wake her up".

"Did she do it?" now Kenshin's attention was on Barbara. "I can imagine Jean doing that in front of a lot of people".

"She did it" and Kenshin's jaw fell to the floor.

"What happened to her?" Kenshin knew their relationship advanced quite a lot after their talk a week ago, but wasn't this a bit much? "You know what, I don't care. I will interrogate her myself".

"You are good to go" said Barbara with a smile seeing that her sister's relationship was advancing. "Just remember to use protection".

"Of course, I forgot Mondstadt was special" said Kenshin standing up. "A nun is telling me to go and fuck her sister".

"And she is telling you to hurry up" Barbara said with a calm expression and guiding Kenshin. "People here are starting to think that it will be the Knight doing the fucking".

"Oh no" Kenshin shivered. "I hate kink-shaming people and I consider myself an open person, but my asshole is not going to be touched in any way, shape or form".

"To be honest, if Jean wants, I don't see you being able to stop her" Barbara scoffed.

"You'd be wrong" Kenshin replied. "I fought the green spirit, I don't think Jean is going to be stronger than me".

"She has been training for her whole life, I don't think your stamina is as great as hers" said Barbara with a pointed look. "As strong as you think you are, Jean has a lot of strength even for a Knight, and you look like you will break in half. I fear that Jean won't be able to have kids after your little brother gets snapped in 2".

Kenshin shivered and instinctually covered his big friend, that much satisfaction was giving him after getting intimate with Sara and the sisters.

'That sounded scummy as hell' thought Kenshin, but shrugged.

"Don't worry Miss Sister, I level up faster" Kenshin patted his chest with a serious expression. "She will only gain EXP with me, but I gain EXP with a lot of people. Wait, that also sounded bad".

"And yet, her body is still stronger than yours" Barbara said with a mocking grin.

"I can cheat" Kenshin replied calmly. He knew he was a 'common' person with a very strong ability, his body was that of a normal human. He had been training these past years knowing that he couldn't just stop panting in the bed, but expecting a human to keep up with a GOD, 2 of them at that, was just impossible.

Ei and Makoto's bodies could split mountains with ease, how was he supposed to 'face' that in a night battle?

Madness.

So he wasn't ashamed at all for using his cheat, at least against them.

He didn't see the need to do that with the rest, as they were human or had abilities close to them. But there was one thing he feared, and that was getting intimate with Yae.

Those silly scruples had been long forgotten but seeing Ei's sudden 'switch' made his dick shrivel in fear.

He didn't know the mechanism Yae was using to adopt a normal form from her fox one, but....you surely know Kenshin's fear.

He didn't want to find his dick on a fox mid-sex. That was the stuff of nightmares.

Kenshin shook his head, trying to let such a horrifying thought disappear from his mind, and focusing on Jean.

"Kenshin, what do you think is my sister's selling point?" Barbara asked with a serene gaze that made Kenshin look at her weirdly.

"Please don't tell me you are going to start peeking at your sister" muttered Kenshin. 'Makoto's habits are already enough'.

"Of course not" Barbara's disgusted face brought some tranquillity to Kenshin. "I just want to know what boys look for in a girl, and you have a lot of girls".

"I wouldn't call it 'having a lot of girls', it sounds very weird" said Kenshin with a frown. "But I get what you mean. Everyone is special. For example, Jean is genero-"

"Kenshin""

"Boobs and asses" Kenshin replied to Barbara's question seriously. "I am still deciding. Sara's boobs were Amazing with a capital A, and Ei's toned butt is the stuff of dreams".

"And what about that priestess?" inquired a curious Barbara. "She doesn't seem to have a big chest, Jean probably has more".

"I think..... she has more than what it seems" replied Kenshin after a brief moment. "She usually wears loose robes, even if her normal attire shows a bit of her side boob, but I think it is a treasure waiting to be unearthed".

"And what about the girl from Liyue?" asked Barbara.

"...." Kenshin looked calmly at her.

"Sorry" Barbara apologized for asking the obvious. "I saw her 3 months ago when she came to see Jean".

"I forgive you" Kenshin magnanimously said.

Some guy from Fontaine started selling the Kamera, a device that allowed you to take photographs and print them.

And when Kenshin saw Shenhe's photo, despite how much he hated that cliche thing, blood came out of his nose.

If you were talking about boobs, Shenhe was the Queen.

If you were talking about asses, Shenhe was Empress.

SLAP!!

"Let's stop mentioning her when we are talking about these things" Kenshin said with a red handprint in his face. "I'm in Mondstadt, I'm in Mondstadt, I'm in Mondstadt....."

"Is she that attractive?" questioned Barbara, thinking that Kenshin's actions were a bit exaggerated. "I mean, she is beautiful and has a body men would probably like, but-"

"But nothing, this admits no discussion" Kenshin firmly said. "If you were attracted to women, you would understand how great she is. If only she didn't have a little monster inside...."

"Kenshin!"

Kenshin and Barbara saw a blonde girl coming with a smile.

"Lumine" Kenshin nodded in greeting. "And your Paimoness".

"EHEM" Paimon crossed her arms with a proud expression. 

"Are you okay now?" Lumine asked worriedly. "I say Jean carrying you to the Church, and you had cuts all over your body".

"Perfect now. Anyway, do you know where is Jean?" Kenshin had priorities.

"Paimon knows" Paimon spoke. "Paimon heard Jean saying that she needed to leave the city for a day, and that she will be back tomorrow".

"Fuck" grumbled Kenshin with a dark face.

"That's what you won't do tonight" mocked Barbara, making Lumine and Paimon look at Kenshin in shock.

"I wasn't planning on doing it tonight" Kenshin spoke with a shrug. "It's just that after the fight I wanted to see her".

"What were you talking about?" inquired the somewhat slow Paimon.

"What does Kenshin consider attractive in a girl" Barbara explained and Kenshin nodded unashamedly.

"W-What?!" Lumine said with a red face.

"Come on, you are probably older than Mondstadt" spoke Kenshin with a fed-up face. "Just say it. What do you like in a girl?"

"W-why am I the one who needs to answer?" Lumine spoke with an even redder face.

"Just say it, I said mine" Kenshin spoke, and the other 2 nodded. "If you didn't hear them, that's your problem".

"Really Lumine, what a lack of politeness" Paimon nodded in exasperation.

"Uhhh..." Lumine made a curious noise but seemed to give up. "I...don't like girls..."

"Hilichurls then?" questioned Kenshin with a sagely nod. "I won't judge. I heard that there is a club in Mondst-"

"We don't speak about the Hilichurl Appreciation Club" Barbara interjected with a dark face. "Never".

"You heard her" Kenshin told Lumine. "If you don't speak, I will scream for those weirdos to come and will tell them you are interested in knowing their activities".

"NO!!" Lumine screamed in panic. "Okay okay. Hmmm, I would like a guy who could fight with me and help me find my brother".

"That's too weird. And then what, fuck in front of him?" Kenshin asked with a raised brow. "Lumine, we are not talking about what you want to see in a guy, or what qualities you are looking for".

"W-We are not?" asked a confused Lumine. "But I thought-"

"We are talking" Barbara interjected with a serious face. "About what turns you on".

"T-Turns-" Lumine's face was about to explode from the blood pressure.

"Yes, now stop the virgin game and spit it"

"I'm a virgin!" Lumine shouted, making a few people look at her with surprise as Mondstadt was too free sometimes.

"Then that's sad. Now spit it" Barbara mercilessly said.

"W-Well, maybe str-"

"Stooooop" Kenshin suddenly said, covering his ears. "I only wanted to embarrass her, but I don't think I'm ready to hear how 'hot' muscles are, or how much a tall man excites you".

"And yet, you talked about how great Shenhe's boobs were" pointed out Barbara.

"Shenhe?" asked a confused Lumine.

"Lothario, is that one of the women you have a tentative and possibly carnal relationship with?" Paimon was a bit scary sometimes.

"Indeed" Kenshin sighed in relief now that the conversation about 'hot men' was over. He didn't want to imagine whatever Lumine was about to describe. "She is from Liyue, you will know it's her when you see her. There is no chance to miss".

"She has the biggest ass I've ever seen" Barbara nodded. "In the good sense of course".

"Now that I think about it" Kenshin spoke with a frown. "Aren't you a bit too interested?"

"I need to help my sister" Barbara sighed. "She is a bit of a dork and has no idea of how to proceed with the physical side. Maybe learning something from you would reassure her and I could push her to it".

"Are you talking about pushing your sister into having sex?" inquired a shocked Lumine.

"The fact that you are surprised shows that you haven't been in Mondstadt for long" pointed out Kenshin.

"But yes, I am" Barbara unashamedly nodded. "My sister is too focused on her work, and she will die of old age if someone doesn't push her to get involved in a serious relationship. 'I'm not ready', 'I need a bit more time', 'I need to work'. She will use all kinds of excuses due to her nervousness, and I know Kenshin is a busy man, he will leave soon".

"You are leaving?" asked Lumine with worry. "What about the letters to my brother?"

"I will stay for a few months unless something happens" Kenshin reassured her. "And about the letter, you can just hire someone to give them to me, or post a commission in the Adventurer's Guild. You are old enough, try to think".

"S-Sorry" an ashamed Lumine scratched the back of her head with a little smile.

"Wait a minute" Paimon interrupted with a suspicious look. "Are you going to see this Shenhe girl? How can we know you are not running away after deflowering the Radiant Knight?"

"What the hell Paimon" Lumine said with a deadpan gaze. "You went from zero to a hundred in a moment".

"Haahhh" Kenshin sighed in exasperation. He didn't know what kind of being was behind Paimon, but the white thing itself was incredibly stupid. "I will just go to visit a pregnant friend. No" he spoke again seeing Paimon open her mouth. "I'm completely and absolutely sure I'm not the father. I'm too young to be one, and I hate kids".