webnovel

Scar : It's you

Sci-fi
Ongoing · 60.3K Views
  • 22 Chs
    Content
  • 4.4
    49 ratings
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Synopsis

It’s a story about a 17 year old, Charles Kendrick. He lives in a dystopian world with his sister, Stella. He lost his parents in an accident and ever since it has always been Charles and Stella. A sudden death of someone turns everything upside down. He gets trapped in a cat and mouse chase. Except, it's the government and him. Fortunately, he makes it to the rebellion camp, where he thinks that life will go back to normal. Completely unaware of what’s going to happen at his “new home”. In the end, his choices pave the path for the chase. "Life is a big gamble, that we, with or without our consent are the high rollers. But, unlike the game, we don't have any power or control. It's all in the hands of the dealer."

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The Mech Touch

After obtaining the Mech Designer System, Ves aims to create the greatest mechs in the galaxy! In the far future, the galactic human civilization has entered the Age of Mechs. The countless lesser powers of humanity have come to adopt mechs as their main weapons of war. Only a small number of humans have the right genetic aptitude to pilot these destructive war machines the size of buildings. Born to a military family in the edge of the galaxy, Ves Larkinson is one of the many people who lacks the talent to earn glory in battle. Instead, he became a mech designer. Helped by his missing father, Ves has obtained the mysterious Mech Designer System that can help him rise in the galaxy and beyond. His mechs based on the principles of life quickly allows him to rise to prominence. Powerful and highly compatible with mech pilots, his products have the potential to take the market by storm. However, success does not come easily, and countless challenges bar his ability to sell his mechs to a market eager for innovation! With the sins of the human race in the galactic arena slowly catching up, Ves must navigate the perils of the ultra-competitive mech market and maintain control over his growing organization of misfits. This is the golden age of mechs. This is the golden age of humanity. The question is, will it last? "Any challenge can be overcome as long as I design the right mech!" --Join The Mech Touch's unofficial Discord server! https://discord.gg/APB5KCU --Follow my Instagram and Twitter! https://www.instagram.com/mlduong https://twitter.com/MLDuong --Cover Art by Derek-Paul Carll (carlldpn) --The Mech Touch is an original webnovel written by ML "Exlor" Duong. The Mech Touch is mainly published on Webnovel.com and a select few platforms affiliated with the parent company of this website.

Exlor · Sci-fi
4.6
6513 Chs

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Epyonnn
EpyonnnLv2

I'm not going to sugar-coat my review, so I hope you don't get too offended. Just know that I'm giving these criticisms because I want to help you improve. To start off, your story was a great opening. It captured my attention and made me want to read more. Unfortunately, (and this seems to be a common problem) there are numerous grammar mistakes. Always remember to proofread your work. I'm not an editor, so I won't point out specifics. Instead, I want to give advice on the actual story. The main character is interesting, but his tone of voice and choice of words are inconsistent. The syntax that you used makes him sound like some sort of a sassy girl, and I'm having a hard time taking him seriously. Additionally, the descriptions tend to shift between using contractions and not using contractions. I suggest that you stick with using contractions if you want to keep a casual tone because writing the words longhand can break the flow of the prose. The final thing I want to mention is the worldbuilding (and this ties into the plot and characters as well). For the most part, the world just feels like a basic post-apocalypse with nothing special. I have only read up to the fifth chapter in detail (I've skimmed forward a little bit), but I didn't find anything that distinguished your world from others. For readers, the biggest appeal for a post-apocalyptic novel is the setting, but if it isn't interesting, then I find it hard to keep reading. If you want, you can start by developing interesting characters and later giving more detail on the world itself. But, the issue is that most of the characters aren't interesting at all. I think that the issue stems from the fact that much of the words are taken up by the main character's babbling and exposition. The story would have been much more engaging if you had taken the time to show how different characters interacted and revealed their motivations. That's all I have to say, and I hope I didn't discourage you at all. I think your work has much potential, so I wanted to help you get better at writing. Keep up the good work!

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