Reviews of Leveling System in Apocalypse World
Leveling System in Apocalypse World
PBOM2004
- Overall Rate
- Writing Quality
- Updating Stability
- Story Development
- Character Design
- world background
This is my second review of my story, I have manage to know the reason why many readers dislike this story so I have to clear a misunderstanding so that the readers that would read my story would know what type of story this is. Spoilers ahead, Don't read this if you don't want to get spoiled. -------------------- The First Problem, The main problem that I saw in my readers is the System. They hate when the system gives a quest towards the MC with reasonable rewards that would tempt the MC First, The System would give quest to MC. So expect the system to be me(Author) trying to give my MC skills via system. I know that it is not good but bear with me. Second, The System isn't the MC's slave and the MC is not the System's slave. The relationship between them is pretty much normal, The MC worked for the rewards he want to get. Third, The Problem of the second problem. The Readers expect that the MC's system was given by some sort of ROB being or GOD himself but sorry the system didn't come from them. The MC isn't a special guy who save a girl getting hit by a truck, A guy who save the world, A hero, A guy who fought valiantly, And A guy who pathetic which took a god to save him(Via Wishes). My MC is just a person who wants to survive, He had his problems and when he was given power he would change. The System is a sentient powerful being that could bend the universe as its will. The MC is the current contractor of the System, Unlike most of the leveling system which makes the System in it came from some sort of powerful being. My system is the powerful being. It chose the MC as its owner so the MC would be grateful towards it rather than be spiteful since he was given a chance to be Reborn, Time travel, and Get stronger. -------------------- The Second Problem, The First chapter of the story must have the readers be misunderstood that the MC is some kind of idiot but this kind of personality would cease to exist in the later chapters. The First Chapter personality is some kind of a euphoria since the MC discovered that he time travelled back in time. Also with the system it is hard to be not excited. The MC's old life was very trashy so a second chance is basically like a water for a man who was thirsty in the middle of the desert. The Idiot Personality would disappear in the later chapters. -------------------- The Third Problem, It isn't a problem but many readers would asked me one thing. "Is the MC Evil?" My answer is yes, He is not an edgy evil who would destroy the world or make the world as his puppet. He is a tamed evil that would do anything to achieved his goals, Although he would do anything as long as it didn't involved his Love ones. The Reason I put evil in the tags is that the MC would kill people and he would see life as something that can be thrown like trash. He doesn't value the life of other people other than himself and his love one's My MC is a scum, He had an obsession over one girl but I wouldn't call it simping. The Girl that I am mentioning is the Female lead of my story. The MC was saved by the FL during the apocalypse, The both of them got together and survive through the apocalypse together. The FL was chased by powerful people so she didn't want the MC to be hurt by her own problems so she left. The Both of them promised to meet each other in the later years but the Promised disappeared when the FL died. The MC is in the middle of insanity as he was just trying to survive in this world to meet the FL again but fate punch him in the face. The MC didn't commit suicide but he died when he was surrounded by Millions of zombies, because of the rumors that he was a companion of the FL which is true. The MC's acquaintances betrayed him which led to his death. The only person the MC trust was the FL, The story begins in a new timeline and the MC met the younger FL. He was obsessed over her but instead of trying to get to love him, He just waited for the FL to loved him. He turn this obsession to be a goal which makes him harsh to the FL to teach her how to survive on her own. -------------------- The Fourth Problem, The Kingdom building. I heard a reader that a kingdom building would make the MC worked for the people but no. The Kingdom the MC is building is mostly his own created races via gene perfecting or gene editing. So the Kingdom the MC is building isn't a human kingdom but a kingdom that has many types of races like Cat girls, Snake girls, And more this is also vice versa there would be men in it. The MC would be deemed as some sort of a God Emperor of Man(Search it in Warhammer 40k) but with many races on his grasp. He would be seen as a god in the Kingdom building but he is very powerful which was why his own created races thought of him as their god. -------------------- Sorry for the readers that though that he will conquer humanity, He won't bring any human with him other than his love one's who are very powerful. The MC thought of humanity as some sort of complex thing for him. Just like what the MC said in some chapter that I wrote. "Creating a new race is better than humans, The humans will evolve to be a perfect race but I will not babysit them until they reach that day. I could just create cat girls or new races that would only be loyal to me." -------------------- Anyway I hope that the story would fit the taste of my fellow readers
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Really bad world setting if u have common sense then u will probably be dropping it around 1chapter into the novel honestly i tried 10chapters but in the end the Idiocracy keeps increasing He come out of orphanage found metal door picks it and goes in !! like the heck which part of the MC's body can fit into a lock to pick it Finds the fmc in cave put a cloth on her !! what ur undie ? you yourself ddont have proper clothes what u covering her with walk a little and voila a big car - not locked - no owner in middle of jungle - no keys a 10yrs old who just a minute ago couldn't see it's window because of his own height - steals it - drives like a speedcar - wow u can't see window of car bcz of ur height but can drive it at hek of a speed
Seems to be another cliche 'system novel'. What's worst that its a talking system which is basically mc's master or mistress in this case. With the whole mission feature of the system, it can order around the mc with rewards like a dog, which the mc will not refuse as the rewards are just too good. Its, slavery but mc just doesn't know it.
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this novel has alot of potential like the persone behind the system or smth or the org in the world fighting for gate of babylon with help from another branches from another world while crating human hibrids with humans inside aswell and creating a power house empire or race in the univerice fighting against a diffrent dimention or so on .
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I Love it's not a big deal but I don't have ah phone again and I hope you have a great day and I will be there at the same time I don't have ah phone again and I will be there at the same place as last time I don't recommend it to the Moon by the way I don't have to go out of town for my bro π€£ the doo doo π π€£ππππ of the same time I don't have ah phone
