Reviews of I’ve became an Overmind in Star Wars?? (Dropped-up for adoption)
I’ve became an Overmind in Star Wars?? (Dropped-up for adoption)
Harbinger9901
- Overall Rate
- Writing Quality
- Updating Stability
- Story Development
- Character Design
- world background
I went into this expecting a real zerg and star wars cross over story. What I got was a human which in any shape or form does not resemble what a zerg is. The author does not know what the zerg really are. I dropped this when I hit ch. 3 due to the fact that zerg is just a word that author used and is not fully utilized to its potential in this story. It is just a Human in possession of dark side powers that has the overmind title with a random personality that is all over the place. I don't expect this story to get far. don't get me started on the MC interactions with the females. I understand that this is the first time the author wrote a story, but, not reading what you wrote and judging it as a fan of the of the zerg and star wars is not how your write a good crossover story. If you love these titles then do it justice not ruin it.
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The only appealing part of the fanfic is the promise of a crossover between Starcraft and Star Wars. This quickly breaks down in the first 3 chapters due to several showstopper issues in both the writing and the content of the story. Writing: the author does not have an editor or does not re-read his sentences, leaving glaring mistakes like "Hey" instead of "They" or "see" instead of "she" at multiple places in multiple chapters. Furthermore sentences are very long and tend to be in the form "something and ... and ... and ... and ...". This reads like a laundry list and not like a story. The use of all-caps is sloppy as is the use of swear words. Content: The relationship between the MC and his first queen is directly taken from Japanese anime/manga" one-san trope. This is cringy and completely unzerg-like. This is completely breaks the story flow. The acquisition of Sith powers is completely unrealistic, Jedi and Sith are training for years in the force and the MC doesn't do anything at all to get them. Advice: Author mentions in chapter 3 that he doesn't do any planning and has no editor. Even without editor please don't publish your story before re-reading it. After writing a chapter, take a break, re-read what you wrote the next day and publish only then. Regarding planning, you need to at least have consistent change of perspective, way of addressing each other and personality, consistency with original world (Zerg attitude, Force training). Also if you don't have some ideas of character development you will paint yourself in the corner.
A certain way to use star wars universe. Myself being a great fan of starcraft AND star wars there is great potential over here. If you're hoping to find what an sith reincarnated maniac with overmind capabilities can do there's a catch here. Recently out there's maybe a few chapter but good quality nonetheless that I assure you.
