Reviews of e20
e20
Blur182
- Overall Rate
- Writing Quality
- Updating Stability
- Story Development
- Character Design
- world background
Yeah, this is an updated one. I deleted my previous one. So I know I'm supposed to review this myself but I'm just gonna serve this up as a warning for a couple of potential readers. First of all, Mc is not op. Like he really is not. He will be op for the first few arcs but after that, he will almost be like an underdog. First few Chapters, y'all will say mc is like a side character, won't deny that. I'm trying to go for a main cast similar to Jojo bizarre adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable where even the main jojo feels like a side character. There will be a few changes, you know butterfly effect and shit. Oh lastly, pairing is with Tsuyu. I know, why? she is so boring! Shut up! She is one of my top waifu plus the rest is overused. Plus, I'll be developing her. You don't even have to read for the romance, reading for the action is fine enough.
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mc isnt as overpowered as a lot of other fan fics (though he is still strong), this is good as it allows the author to have more character interactions and development, the author is good (by my standards) in those subjects. as for grammar i dont find any noticeable mistakes while i read (the mind automatically fixes any sort of mistake there is cause the mistakes are small). SPOILER froppy is the wifu of this story. its something different since most fanfics dont pay much attention to her.
(Google translator) I'm stopping reading this fic for four reasons 1-the past of the MC who has a traumatic background (it seems that his father died, but he could save him but he couldn't) 2-mc mentality, he's a coward who panics if he doesn't have information about the opponent 3-to mc nerf, the protagonist suffers nerf for not believing that the skills are his 4-he now has ptsd
(This is a review based after the author edited the earlier chapters) This book is pretty good compared to other novels. My only problem and I'll be blunt is that the author seems to unintentionally nerfs the MC through his lack of knowledge. Worried people would question why he's so strong? Just say it's a compound quirk. MC seems pretty weak for someone who is basically strong as a prime Baki (which isn't even shown since the manga ends with him at like 18 I think?). Well, that's because the author doesn't really know bakiverse characters are absolutes physical beasts. 4.4/5
Eh, there are 2 characters in this fanfiction who will be better protagonists than Irutsu. This is Ibara and Izuku. Until it's too late, change the plot and make Ibara the main character, it will be more interesting, she will be an older sister for all the gyroes who will support and guide you on the path of true, and her battles will be like Joseph Joster, she will predict, deceive, entangle in her vines and win with her enemy wit and skills !! And then Irutsu from the outside looks like a detached, boring brother of the main character, he is completely without any zest. Aside from his quirk and skill, there is nothing exciting or glamorous about him to make me look at him. Except for Tsui and Izuku and Ibara, there is no one who would look at him, etc. !! Translated by google translate !!
I deleted the previous review, because my response to you exceeds the allowed number of characters, so I write this as a review. By the way, I give 5 stars, purely out of your sincerity and enthusiasm. Whatever the book is, it is better not to throw it in the middle because of unpopularity or haight. Even if the work is not successful, it gives you valuable experience that will help in the following books. 1. Who was the main character, before his death. The description of his story of life before death, you turned out to be a bit silly, to put it mildly. I advised you to reveal a little better the story of the main character's life before death and rebirth. Or just cut everything out and start with the fact that the main character woke up in the possession of God and realized that he does not remember his identity, he has different knowledge, but does not remember anything about his identity. Whether he had a family and all the other knowledge he simply does not have, that is, he has erased the knowledge of his identity. This is a trick that will help you smooth out stupid and awkward moments with the main character. For he does not know how to behave, he only knows the general knowledge of how to behave. He has no personal experience in this, he will not behave like an Adult person in the body of a child, but just like a more intelligent child. Hence, his stupidities, tantrums, his failings, and so on, can be explained. After all, in fact, he is a child. As for the new family of the main character, you should at least give a couple of chapters for the new MC family. Who they are, what their appearance is, How they relate to the main character and how the main character relates to them. Instead, you just wrote: Father - FirstName LastName his quirk ???, Mother - FirstName LastName her quirk??? and all. Then the role of the family is taken over by Ibaru, that is, you just forgot the parents of the main character and only Ibaru will be mentioned as a family. I'm not telling you, you should write dozens of chapters about the parents of the main character, just pay them a little attention, so that the parents are not purely for formality and so that we understand what they do and how they react to the antics of the main character. About moving to a new school. You have shown that the main character does not like strict measures in the old school. This he gave as a reason for moving to a new school, hiding the real reason and motives. For he wants to look at the main characters and wanted to make sure that Deku is not a villain and the canon is respected. But at the same time, the main character personally changes the canon with his antics. This is such a dumb move in the plot, I understand you're trying to show that the existence of the main character changes the canon. But you chose a path that shows the main character as a fool, because he moved to a new school, only to make sure that the canon is observed. After all, he knows about the future, he remembers his past, and he had to take into account all the nuances, he had to know that his actions could affect the canon. This is a foolishness, which in theory should not be committed, by a person who remembered his past life and the future of the world that he fell into. I therefore advised you to erase the past self of the main character, in this case, because of the lack of knowledge and experience of his failure, we could accept this fail of the main character, because despite the knowledge of the canon, he is still just a child with inherent curiosity and so on. At the expense of the character of the characters there are no serious problems, yet the main characters are teenagers and the discrepancy of their character than in the canon is acceptable. And it would be better to add some emotions for the characters, so that they at least do not look like robots. I'm not telling you that you should write the characters ' thoughts or their monologues in 500 characters. Just add in between the dialogues, small thoughts of the characters. For example: Character 1 thanked character 2. - Thank you-Said character 1. - Yes, everything is fine-A little suspiciously took character 2 to the strange behavior of character 1. Or something like that, of course, not in all the dialogue, but with significant characters it would be desirable. At the expense of the main character. You paid very little attention about his growing up, about his feelings and emotions. Why does he not make friends, why does he seem to everyone as withdrawn. You should have at least translated an example for this behavior of the main character. Let's say a simple scene, the main character attends a junior school and almost goes crazy with children, for an ***** is on the body of a child. But you just wrote one line that why should the main character be friends with children and that's it. It is advisable not to do this, in such moments you reveal and develop the main character as a person. But out of laziness, you just missed these points and wrote one line. To some, this may turn out to be unnecessary information, but it is this unnecessary information that allows readers to understand the main character and create his image on their head. Due to the undisclosed identity of the main character, I was at a loss when the main character, after entering the academy, thought about whether he wanted to be a hero. He had lived in the world of heroes for 15 years, how could he think about the Career of a hero and the consequences of becoming a hero, only after the exams? Don't you think that's stupid?! How could he not know about the hero's Career and what they are risking 15 years of living in a world where these same heroes exist. He didn't live in a cave, or a lost island, to not understand such things. I will even keep silent that he is an ***** with knowledge about the future, because even from the anime it is clear that the world is not fluffy at all. And the subsequent nightmare associated with these events is very, very stupid. If you wanted to show the gloom of the world and the doubt of the main character, you could add a scene before the academy. For example, he witnessed an innocent victim die in the street, at the hands of a villain, or because of the inability of heroes who did not care about the victim and only wanted to raise their popularity. For in their world, the more popular the hero, the richer he is. The exception to the rule is the Almighty, for which he can be respected, for he does it out of principle, not for glory. In that vein, it would be understandable to have nightmares and doubts about the Heroes, but your move is honestly terrible. In your fanfiction, the author's storylines are extremely necessary. You just copy the plot of the anime and change it a little. It's boring to read, because there are a lot of such fanfics, and it's very boring to read about the same thing every time. If your fan fiction was a comedy, you could turn a blind eye to it. Like, for example, a fan fiction where the main character chose the power of Saitama. It was fun to read how other people reacted to the antics of the Sites and its power. But in your case, when the main character is average in strength, interest is lost very quickly and it becomes boring to read. Because of what I liked, there are not many of them in English, because I recently started reading here. Before that, I read only Russian fanfiction, so I can advise you, only a couple of fanfiction. On the Web novell, I have found only these serious works so far. https://***.webnovel.com/book/my-hero-academia-killer-quirk!!_15441417005420005 https://***.webnovel.com/book/my-hero-academia-the-customizer_17411347305743105
-Mc is fanboying over Izuku, from what I see in other reviews author says it's cuz plot armor, but that's not true, why? Izuku in this story is a side character and he should be used as such, like Todoroki or someone else from 1-A except Bakugou cuz ofc he is secondary mc. In this story, Irutsu is mc thus he is in possession of such armor. -Some weird questionable decisions from the side of mc, like worrying about cannon, switching schools, then he lets his sister befriend and protect Izuku, which should result in Deku not receiving an OFA, cuz the cannon is completely changed. -It's good that the author creates OC, but for me, they feel like a bland sheet of paper.
Ok, so I am caught up... but can I just say the MC just makes me sad. I mean he has nothing that makes me excited to see what happens to him. He comes a crossed as a broken person with poor impulse control and massive control issues so it's like a broken character that his very existence is painful for himself since he will be the cause of all his own grief. It's just sad to read a character who cannot grow because he is destined to be his own worst enemy. I am not sure author is trying to create a broken hero and not in an OP kind of broken but mentally broken.