The Birth of the War Goddess

Once again we have guests from the Royal Palace, General Zao Lao and his son...

The general is quite a big guy, full of scars and with a dumb good man vibe; The son on the other hand... It took me some effort to not laugh everytime he almost fell stepping on his clothes...

Quite skinny with a non ugly yet non beautiful face, no muscles at all and an awkward smile on his lips

-My Lords, I shall fill up the teapot again, would you excuse me...- I bend down taking the vassoil away

-Ah Ol'Huizhong, your daughter ChangLai is really a peach tree in full bloom! You must be really prideful of her-

-I really am General Lao!-

-I see she is also very good with womanly chores, she served us so nicely and sang for us too...

I remember when she still was this tall! Hahaha- he say bringing an hand just above the floor

-Yes she grew up a lot indeed, so did your son... My friend-

The General stares in the direction of the guy outside, almost hitting his head against a tree, and signs

-Yeah yeah my son is adult Indeed but... I'm sorry to say it but that young man is very useless, I love him of course but I'm so disappointed-

-Is he too useless to procreate too?-

-Hahaha I really hope not but never say never hahaha,

my son enjoy many things and some of them did gave me weird ideas...

But as long as he will fake holding a sword in front of othes, or have one child, I do not mind!-

-Are you perhaps implying that...

I mean... He likes more to be the dancer than the watcher in the red light district?-

-I am not so sure but it may be the case... I'm really trying hard to get him a wife but every girl always end up laughing at him.

He won't be able to protect anyone in his entire life! When I train him he ends up looking at a butterfly or falling into the pond-

-This is a shame for someone of your origin... But since my dear daughter doesn't seems interested in men why not a fake wedding just to save our names?-

-I would love that but I don't wanna ruin your daughter's future... She deserves better being such an outstanding woman-

The guy outside falls on his face and the father sighs -Dear Lao... This is a shame indeed...-

...

-Here is the Chrysanthemum tea... I thought of changing the flavour to something more delicate due to all the plum wine our dear Lords have drunk-

-Oh Lai'Er please seat with us, I would very much like to talk with this beauty as someone on our level and not a servant-

-Surely General Lao-

-Just call me uncle Lao as you did many years ago dear-

-Sure uncle Lao- I bend down before seating with them

-So, I see that you have a beautiful voice and a beautiful face, what else are you good at? I want to understand if women does have more than feminility-

-Not much sadly, I can do many things but if it's a talent worth of a Royal General you seek, I'm afraid to have none-

-Don't be so modest, you look very cleaver and knows how to use words... There must be more-

-I can play some music if my Lord wants, I can do beautiful make up, sew and dance, I know herbal plants and literature but nothing much-

-I see I see... So what do you plan of doing in your future? What kind of man would you like to marry?-

-Mister Lao... Is it for a girl of my age possible to chose such a thing?

I will have to marry whoever my father find most suitable for our family and I trust he won't let me go to anyone-

-Hahaha! You daughter really is amazing Ol'Huizhong- he laughs gulping down the tea

...

I start cleaning up the table once they are gone for a walk in the garden

-Miss ChangLai, why have you said such a thing to that man? Aren't you scared he will take accord to marry you to that son of his?-

-Xian'Er, I don't really care about such things...

None of the future possibilities for a girl of my rank actually satisfy me so at least marrying a man who won't force me to anything against my will and with whom we could cover each other's secrets... It is not a bad idea at all...-

-Would you really not mind having a forced intimate marital interaction with THAT man just in exchange for your undisturbed walks?-

She shove something in a sink angrily -There are many more suitable men who would line up for you my lady! And who at least would help you to satisfy the bridal deeds...-

-Only a son is what they require from me, I could always adopt an unfortunate child and force myself to consume the wedding just once.

I do not need an handsome man if he's just going to lock me up inside a mansion to take care of his children while simply being pretty- I put down the vassoil on the kitchen table for the maids to clean up

-If I were you I could never... Imagine having a beautiful rich man holding you everyday and treating you like a flower... Ah... So romantic- she hugs her sides while daydreaming

-But you are not me- I smile leaving her there...

She shouldn't dare to talk this way to her Lady, but I cannot afford to look angry or anything so I must leave with a smile.

A girl here must be perfect and innocent if she doesn't wants to be discriminated...

As long as I can have the freedom to enjoy what I like in private, I do not mind pleasing everyone else... Actually I find it rather amusing.

Misses of my rank or even lower are really arrogant and stupid and end up spitting poison, beign pressured by the fact that their families require them to be perfect for a good marriage...

Meanwhile I have my own way of letting off stress, so it's not hard keeping my cool.

Nowdays I don't even feel angry anymore when impersonating this perfectly submissive woman ideal.

Whenever I find myself in an awkward situation I pass through it smoothly just by thinking of my mountain and smiling to myself...

When I happens to meet other Misses who are really sweet or carefree I always like to think they have their own little secrets...

Same goes for Mens...

An old childhood friend of mine was once proposed to me as a candidate, we really had fun talking and he confessed to me about something unexpected...

Once a week he would pretend going out to drink and would instead wear heavy makeup along some really scandalous woman clothes and dance in a tea house where even his father used to go...

He said watching all these men being fascinated by another man without even recognizing him was truly amusing and made him realize that nobody is completely clear to themselves... So why would he have to bother about his passions instead of sleeping peaceful?

Apparently tho, this life isn't enough for me... I don't understand what's off but everyday before going to sleep I feel like something is missing

The first time I felt like this, I was just a kid back then, I ended up memorizing a whole poem book to challenge myself...

Going for always harder and harder challenges

Everytime something stop filling that hole in my soul, I begin practicing something harder and more tiring.

I feel like I could do more in this world, but I don't understand what and this thought alone pushes me always further deep in the mountains reaching limits my body didn't knew existed...

Would a man be able to take my training too? Would a man be able to walk as lightly as a feather while stealing from a wolf's lair? Would I be able to win over a trained soldier?

Am I thinking to highly of myself and this is actually nothing special?

This is something I probably would never know.