MIST_VINONA
The story has an interesting plot, and while some parts are quite fast-paced, the author still tries to delve deep into the history of the world and other exposition for the readers. The writing is a bit shaky at the start, but slowly gets better over time. Not gonna leave any spoilers, but this story definitely has quite a few twists and turns later on.
First of all, I like the concept of dais and lils. I think the story has a great future ahead. But just like what the other reviewers said, grammar and vocabulary needs to be improved. A LOT. Especially for the first chapter since first chapter is where you can get readers from being interested with your book.
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Yosh! First thing first! I read your first chapter and I couldn't grasp anything. (Yes I'm pea brain!!) Ahem I mean... Your paragraph is too long. I got lost. Another thing is your punctuations. Do not hate me! I bare no ill!!! Your story is GREAT!!! I LIKE IT!! REALLY And... and Your chapter title is direct. Please keep it up I will be looking forward to your highlight. I'm the same as you.
Alright so I have a couple of things for this review. - The grammer is what needs to be worked upon, but i think it can be fixed If you just read it out loud for yourself before publishing the chap. - The story i see where is going but sometimes you are trying to tell something and i need to read it again to make sure i get what youre trying to Write. Overall I think it’s worth a shot but rework the chapters and it’ll become very good🥳