CailinMatthews
I really want to say that this story hooked me in. There are twists and turns but not at the expense of the character development. Nothing seems out of the blue, and literally every detail builds up to something more. Even when there are twists (and boy are there a lot of them), though they are unexpected, the plot sets it up in a way that I sort of know that they're lying in wait (like how you pointed out Hayden and Tylen's personality reversals). Especially, just all the details are beautiful. For character development, I love love love how everyone is flushed out. Heck, even the pirates have character. I can actually sense their emotions, whether it be pain or anxiety. Also, the children are so preciousssssss!!!!!! I really only intended to read a few chapters, but that plan went horribly awry ;-; I think the only thing issue I had with this was how there would be certain numbers in the story. Like the whole point about the precise height. I must admit I didn't quite understand the point of it. But if it's another subtle detail I missed, please let me know! Anyways, I added it to my library, and I'm looking forward to it ^-^
The writing is good. The only minor error I picked up was some missing commas or periods at the end of dialogue/quotes. The story had sufficient detail to envision the scenes and characters, but I was rather confused with what was happening. First we have 3 people atop a roof who then run after what I’m guessing is where the prince and his guards are carrying the jewels, and they steal the Diamond of Luna. But the numerous names and Rash pseudonym I’m guessing made it unclear. Then the scene moves to the queen and the diamond, and I totally lost grasp of the connection from there. The sister is dead? Who? Is she connected to Maia? Is she herself Maia? How do the 3 people at the beginning connect to those at the end and the people talked about by Tylen and Hayden, the Princess Alka. Very confused. But I think this is partly due to cramming so much in one chapter. Had this been full length, I’m sure following the plot would be much easier. Additionally, we wouldn’t be introduced to a dozen characters in one chapter. Good work overall!
What to say, what to not say... Ok, i figured it out. No spoiler ahead. First of all, nice cover. Really nice cover, that is absolutely in sync with the title, and makes me want to click on the story and read it. Second the info/blurb/summary (what's the right word?). It's nice, intriging and gives us enough info to decide if it could interess us. After the reading There are 17 chapters for now and what I can say is that the story looks promising and complexe. we get an intro that introduce the facts of the blurb then all pov start at the same point: a queen will be crowned. Then the story begins, and at first we are lost. So many things happening, so many characters and many point of vue. Then two simultaneous story lines appears and we get sucked in. This story is promising and I intend to follow it. So good luck author. ** : I will make another review when the story is more advance ;) You are warned
Writing quality is good. Character design, world background, story development all great. Wait first, synopsis is cool and nice. Catchy if I must say. Now the review proper. The writing style is great. Little or no errors, which can be overlooked considering how great the story is. From the synopsis, one already has an idea of the palace struggles, but on etching the author did that catches his readers off guard into a swell ride.... Let me explain. Okay, already expecting the dark troubles of court life, one wouldn't expect the story to start with the cuteness of two children, not both princess but a childish love which ended up in betrothal. That was a nice w@y to put your readers at ease and whisk their expectation away. So the first two chapters did just that to elate us the readers. But to every happy fairytale, there comes the down and dark side of life. The brining joy and hope all dashed to pieces by our dear author. No fair you know. Anyway back to the story. He crushed that hope and plunged us into the bitter sweet reality of the novel. Oh and his details about the surrounding, people and expressions are on point, gotta learn that as a writer too. Let me not spoil the joy of reading. When I started this book, I wondered if to was going to be one of the few I added to my library and it won. Saving this book to follow up, battery already @ 3%. Good work author, keep it up. Would send a power stone as my support for your book. Wow, my longest review so far 1532 words.