Review Detail of Chryiss in The Rightful Queen

The writing is good. The only minor error I picked up was some missing commas or periods at the end of dialogue/quotes. The story had sufficient detail to envision the scenes and characters, but I was rather confused with what was happening. First we have 3 people atop a roof who then run after what I’m guessing is where the prince and his guards are carrying the jewels, and they steal the Diamond of Luna. But the numerous names and Rash pseudonym I’m guessing made it unclear. Then the scene moves to the queen and the diamond, and I totally lost grasp of the connection from there. The sister is dead? Who? Is she connected to Maia? Is she herself Maia? How do the 3 people at the beginning connect to those at the end and the people talked about by Tylen and Hayden, the Princess Alka. Very confused. But I think this is partly due to cramming so much in one chapter. Had this been full length, I’m sure following the plot would be much easier. Additionally, we wouldn’t be introduced to a dozen characters in one chapter. Good work overall!