funny daily quotes

Dr. Dalton Wyatt, a world-renowned scientist and inventor, is transmigrated into the body of a high school student named Dalton Wyatt, who committed suicide due to unfortunate circumstances and a complicated life. The new world is completely different yet similar to Dr. Wyatt's homeworld, Earth. Unlike the peaceful Earth, where humans fight other humans, this new world is plagued by dungeons and monsters. People here fight monsters for the survival of humanity. Mortal humans are not strong enough to fight these mythical and legendary creatures. Thankfully, some blessed humans can actively control their souls to manifest soul power and become Card Apprentices, fighting for humanity's chance at survival. Card Apprentices are people who contract Grimoires and use various powerful yet resourceful cards to fight off monsters and conquer dungeons. Grimoires provide Card Apprentices with abilities like Card Creation and Card Fusion. Most importantly, they allow Card Apprentices to display their full potential in a card fight. Even though this world has the concept of science, it is not focused on electronics and industrialization like Earth. Here, the world has cards for every little thing, eliminating the need for electronics. This new world is highly focused around Grimoire abilities, Card Creation and Card Fusion. Coming to a world where money could literally buy him strength, Dr. Wyatt had to earn money for his survival. But thanks to his otherworldly information and knowledge, Card Creation comes easily to Dr. Wyatt compared to other Card Apprentices. Dr. Wyatt creates and sells various perfect, powerful, and resourceful cards to earn money and grow stronger step by step in this monster-ridden world for his survival. ... “What did you say? Making good cards is hard? Bah! Card making couldn’t be easier!” “Trash materials! Let me teach you that there are no trash materials, only trash card makers.” [Bloody Veins - G rank, Mortal grade] [Nylon Rope G rank, Mortal grade] [White Core - G rank, Mortal grade] Card creation… complete! [ Card Name - Bloody Rope Card Type - Item card Card Rank - E rank, Common grade Card Rating - 3 stars Card Durability - (100/100) Card Effect - Bloody rope can be used to bind opponents. If bound on open wounds additional effects of paralysis and blood drain activates unconditionally.] “Oh my God! You used a G-rank Mortal-grade core, but how did you create an E-rank Common-grade card with a 3-star rating and full durability? This is a dream! Yes, I am dreaming! I didn't wake up today. I'm still in my bed, dreaming!”

As a cultivation genius who has achieved a new realm every two years since he was a year old, Wang Ling is a near-invincible existence with prowess far beyond his control. But now that he’s sixteen, he faces his greatest battle yet - Senior High School. With one challenge after another popping up, his plans for a low-key high school life seem further and further away... Wang Ling: I just want to eat my crispy noodle snacks in peace... Father Wang: If you're careless enough to destroy the country, it’s coming out of your pocket money. Wang Ling: It’s not my fault that the backlash from punching me kills you. Please support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/henyeetranslationsDLIK If we hit certain milestones, we will release more chapters in a mass release! Tags: comedy, school, cultivation, tsundere, popular culture, almighty protagonist, action

In the late years of the Daqian era, tyrants roamed freely, war erupted endlessly, and the people could not sustain their lives. After transmigration, Chen Jie finds himself as a drunken gambler with a pair of unfortunate sisters at home. The elder one, Su Yunjin, is his wife, and he also has a five-year-old sister-in-law, Su Yunrui. Their family is so poor they can barely make ends meet. Then suddenly, his beautiful wife comes smiling, bringing him a bowl of hot porridge. "Husband, I was wrong yesterday. Please have some porridge while it's hot." Seeing the bruises on his wife's face, Chen Jie feels something is amiss. Ding~ [Daily Information has been updated] [1. Yesterday, you gambled away the last three acres of good land, beat Su Yunjin while drunk, and planned to sell the five-year-old Su Yunrui, to recover your losses.] [2. The Su sisters rely on each other. Su Yunrui is Su Yunjin's only hope.] [3. Su Yunjin, having lost hope, traded her mother's hairpin three days ago for a pack of arsenic.] ...Arsenic! Staring at the hot porridge brought to his lips, Chen Jie looks up at his wife, seeing the faint bruise on her face and her eyes shifting away, avoiding his gaze. "Honey!" "Yes?" "You're not going to kill me, are you?!"

Song Huanyan had her fiancé stolen by her own cousin. Then, she drowned her sorrows in a bar... When she woke up, lying beside her was the younger brother of her former fiancé. "Consider last night's events as you paying off your brother's debt," Song Huanyan said. "What debt?" Yun Jianchen asked. Song Huanyan, "An emotional debt." Yun Jianchen, "..." Song Huanyan, "Ever heard the saying, 'A brother's debts are paid by his sibling'?" Yun Jianchen, "..."

Yang Qing sighed as he gazed upon the black building that stood tall piercing the skies above with an inviolable aura around it. "The Order sure is black-hearted," he angrily thought as he made his way into the building begrudgingly. The building could be considered his home away from home and a source of endless grief for him due to its unforgiving working hours. The building housed the courtrooms of the Cultivation Order Society, an organization founded to maintain a semblance of order in the ruthless cultivation world of the southern continent who if left to their own devices would sink the whole continent to the ground. Due to how impetuous cultivators were, the cases never stopped. "Yi Jie, what do we have today?" "Two cultivators at the palace realm fought over a treasure and destroyed half of the territory of the blue deer kingdom in their fight, A rogue cultivator is suing the owner of the falling meteor blacksmith shop for selling him a faulty saber that keeps attracting lightning tribulations. A cultivator suffering from pill poisoning is blaming it on the white hilltop restaurant as he suspects they are feeding their spirit beasts pills to make them bigger and fatter. And the last case is 500 families are suing a cultivator by the name of Ren Fu for being negligent as a husband and a father whilst also pilfering their resources dry as he moves from place to place.," Awkward silence ensues........... Join me as we follow Yang Qing in his role as a judge in the Cultivation Order Society with cases and troubles that never seem to end. Fair warning the story has multiple POVs. Re-edited chapter (50/50) Second milestone (79/150) All support matters whether it's power stones, comments, reviews, golden tickets, subscriptions, or those who buy privilege chapters or even lurking readers..I welcome all your support in whatever format it comes in and I thank you for it, It really does mean a lot, especially to rookie authors like myself.

Ye Qiu does not know who she is; for hundreds of years, she has been followed by a system designated as '001', tirelessly fulfilling the last wishes of others... Name: Ye Qiu Merit Points: 15000 Skills Redeemed: Hacking Master Culinary Genius Level 2 Fifth-Level Body Refining Technique Good Fortune Enhancement 10 times, 8 times remaining (No CP, protagonist quick-travels across worlds not limited to any gender) (The story of 'The Male Lead with X-Ray Vision' has many blocked chapters, it is not recommended for purchase. Skipping does not affect the reading, nor the main plot's progression.)

One day, after five years of living in the shadow of the popular actor—Mo Boyuan, Dr. Jiang suddenly decided that she had enough! Mo Boyuan: Why are you kicking up a fuss? Jiang Tingxu: I’m not. Let’s divorce! Mo Boyuan: Divorce? In your dreams! Jiang Tingxu's identity was later exposed and overwhelming insults began pouring in. Fan of King Mo: This woman isn’t good enough for my King Mo! The great Movie King Mo streamed live on the internet: Heh, the woman you claimed isn’t good enough for me is an all-rounded top scorer and was recommended to Peking University at 16. You’re wrong. She’s TOO GOOD for me and I’m out of her league! Also, she’s the little brat that I’ve been pampering and adoring for 20 years. I won’t tolerate anyone who lays a finger on her!

A tribulation lightning strike allowed her to be reborn with a mutated space. Parents are deceased, but not to worry, she has an agricultural expert grandfather. People bully her, but that's no problem, as she is a cultivator. The space is barren except for a single broken sapling that only consumes precious metals. The sapling indignantly asked: Others eat grass and give milk, what about you? The little immortal sapling spat and said: Here, remember to exchange it for some RMB.

Su Li travels to another world and becomes the eighth son of Bauhinia Earl. Without inheritance rights, he is forced to become a Pioneer Lord. But unexpectedly, he awakens the Daily Intelligence system. With the system's assistance, he collects treasures and develops his territory. [Due to your quiet quitting state, today's Prophet message update] [1: In the fruit shop on the edge of Bauhinia Town's Edge Mountain Range, there is a Bloodthorn Fruit similar in shape to an apple. After eating it, the bloodline will be greatly purified, upgrading to an Apprentice Knight.] [2: The Mist Forest in the northeast of the territory will be affected by the Fiery Sun Goddess's divine tidal winds in 3 days. The mist will drop to its lowest level, and the danger level of exploring the Mist Forest will greatly decrease within the following 5 days.] [3: In seven days, a goblin tribe that has bred an Anaric Empress Spider will attack your territory.]

When Allen Zhang opened my eyes, he found himself on the free air of the West Coast. He became a city explorer. He started off with no dog, no identity, not even a tent. Fortunately, he gained a daily intelligence system and made many like-minded friends. [Daily Intelligence: At the club on 134 Hopson Street, there are a large number of recyclable cans and clear beverage bottles in the green trash bin in the alley.] [Daily Intelligence: In the red trash can on 96 Eito Street, there are unfinished burgers and 7 fresh flowers, as well as an unopened bottle of Pinot Noir red wine.] [Daily Intelligence: Your good neighbor Jesse has a scratch-off lottery ticket worth $5000 in their tent!] [Daily Intelligence: Mike's junkyard is selling a 1976 GMC camper van that has been parked in the suburbs for twenty years for a low price of $200. Details: At the Old Pick Garage, there is someone who can fix it.] Fxxk!! Life has turned into a ridiculous scavenger game. Allen Zhang decides to start leveling up from the streets of the novice village, striving for a better tomorrow.