funny quotes chinese

An amazing world of cultivation. A majestic world where miracles happen. There is a warrior who defies destiny and forge his own path facing innumerable difficulties ahead. Come and join the life of the person who will go against the set destiny of the cruel world and become something extraordinary. ===== Extraordinary my foot. What is this illogical cr*p? Does it even make sense? If you are doctor, then work in a hospital. What the hell are you doing going after girls? If you are a commander in the army, then bring your army to get revenge on those who wronged you. Why go through the trouble of pretending to be a weakling. You are a useless son in law? Your wife's family thinks you are good for nothing? Then how the hell did you score her in the first place?!!! If they like money so much and you are a hidden millionaire, then why in the name of sanity would you hide this fact and be berated every day?!!! The hell is all this?!!! The more I read it, the more illogical it becomes. Like this all came straight out of someone's as-- [Host, why don't you calm down?] 'You shut up!!! You're the reason I'm stuck here in the first place!!!!' [Host, you need anger management] 'THE FU*K DID YOU SAY?!!!!!' ===== Hello everyone! This is my second novel and so far, nothing is decided. This is just an idea that has been plaguing my mind for quite a long time and I decided to let it out and let you guys decide whether or not I should work on it. Give it a proper read and let me know. You guys will decide the fate of this novel. Also, I would like you guys to come up with proper genres for this story. Bonus chapters: 150 PS for one chapter 300 PS for another chapter 20 GT for two chapters 50 GT for another two chapters 1 Review of 4 stars or above, 1 extra chapters Maximum extra chapters per week: 7 ===== The cover is A.I generated and is not mine. If the real owner would like me to remove it, let me know in any chapter comments. That's it. Enjoy! ~~ Character art: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1B7sHito4UOZqPIK5pPyIFTzgqiaT_ZlU?usp=sharing

Lu Xuan, a graduate of Zhijiang University of Traditional Chinese Medicine, travels to a parallel world that doesn't value traditional Chinese medicine much. Because of his forthrightness, he offended the department head and was sent to work at a Health Center. Originally thinking that his life was almost over, Lu Xuan discovered that he could hear the Heart's Voice of traditional Chinese medicine. "Aversion to cold, fever, obvious tenderness with rebound pain in the entire abdomen, positive psoas sign..." [Intestinal abscess, how unlucky this guy is. Use downward-draining method to relieve, attack and expel, moisten and unblock to guide the stool and eliminate stagnation to cleanse substantial heat, this illness... rhubarb, mirabilite... it's up to you.]

Can Traditional Chinese Medicine cure illnesses? Of course, it can. But the counterfeiting of medicinal herbs is shocking. For example, Red Ginseng, which should be prepared from Ginseng, is replaced by merchants with cheaper American ginseng. It would be a miracle if such Chinese medicinal herbs could cure any illness. Li Xu has bound himself to the [Daily Intelligence System]. [Intelligence 1: Yiyao Hall in the Chinese medicinal herbs wholesale market has just received a batch of genuine Malva nuts.] [Intelligence 2: Guangyi Trading is boiling and dyeing hyacinth beans, worth 20 yuan/jin, to pass them off as Sour Jujube Seeds, worth 800 yuan/jin.] [Intelligence 3: Three wild Danggui of excellent quality are growing on the ridge of Peach Mountain, west of the city. They have matured, please collect them in a timely manner.] [Intelligence 4: Your next-door neighbor, Hu Wenguang, has a kidney yin deficiency. You can use two liang of Goji Berries, seven qian of mulberries, one liang and two qian of rehmannia root...] Using good herbs, prescribing good formulas, and applying good acupuncture... Li Xu will let the world know what true "curing illness upon treatment" means!

This novel is an "always-ongoing" novel containing a compilation of fictional funny stories. New fictional funny stories will be added to new chapters in this book over time.

Novel translation from chapter 1283. You can find the previous chapters by searching.

This novel contains a compilation on funny chats to entertain all of you. One chapter refers to one chat.

A romantic-comedy action saga of eternal love, endless reincarnation, and two immortals who refuse to give up. For thousands of years, a woman named Elara has been trapped in a cruel celestial curse: Every time she dies, she is reborn— in a new body, a new life, a new era… but never free. Across 47 reincarnations, two immortal beings have chased her through history: Aldren The sharp-tongued, dramatic Vampire Lord, master of blood arts, world-class overthinker, and hopeless romantic who burns kitchens when trying to impress her. Li Wusheng The stoic, ancient Chinese Immortal, cultivator of the Heavenly Dao, socially awkward around modern humans, and eternally calm—except when Aldren exists. They are rivals. They are enemies. They are in love with the same woman. And they have been fighting for her for millennia. Elara’s 47 Lives Princess. Pirate queen. Imperial medic. Vampire bride. Every lifetime reveals a new side of her… and another tragic end. Haunted by dreams she can’t understand, Elara slowly regains her memories— and along with them, the emotional weight of every love, loss, and death she once endured. Her two immortals do everything to win her heart: Competing in martial duels Destroying cities by accident Fighting sky demons at 3AM Arguing in parking lots Attempting romantic gestures that go terribly wrong All while Elara tries to survive her newest reincarnation. The Truth of the Curse Elara is not cursed because of love. She is cursed because she is the Eternal Core— the reincarnation engine that sustains the realms. If she stops reincarnating… existence collapses. A celestial deity seeks to reclaim her power. Aldren and Li are forced into an uneasy alliance to protect her. For the first time in history, the three stand together. The Final Battle and a New Beginning When the deity attacks Earth, Elara unleashes memories of all her past selves. She saves the realms— but her soul shatters once more. Reincarnation #48 begins somewhere in the modern world. Aldren and Li swear to find her again. Their rivalry reignites instantly: “I’ll find her first!” “Your senses are inferior.” “You outdated bamboo-stick monk—!” “You overdramatic bat—!” And somewhere in the city, a teenage girl looks up at the sky, unknowingly waiting for chaos to enter her life again. Thus continues the eternal chase: A comedy of immortals, a romance spanning ages, and a destiny that refuses to end.

This is a long-running serialized novel adapted from the author's real-life experiences, telling stories about relationships between people, the story of humanity, and many more unknown tales. It falls under the categories of science fiction, romance, ethical drama, and interstellar love, encompassing elements of modern times, the present, the future, and interstellar travel. It unfolds from the perspective of ordinary people who experienced the events firsthand, offering a grand narrative across different eras, regions, solar systems, and interstellar scales. This novel is publicly available online and permanently free. Different websites have different review criteria; please search across the internet for any incomplete parts. 基于正在发生的作者真实经历改编的长篇连载小说，讲述了关于人与人之间的故事，人类的故事，以及更多未知的故事。属于科幻，言情，浪漫，伦理，星际恋情范畴，包含近代现代，当代，未来，星际穿越等因素，从事件亲历者普通人视角，体验一个不同时代背景，地域，太阳系，星际规模的宏大时间线叙事。本小说全网公开发布，永久免费。不同网站审核重点不同，如有残缺请全网搜索。

This novel contains funny conversations between fictional people. They are written to entertain all of you. One chapter represents one conversation in this novel.

"When Chinese New Year happens, that's the only time I get to see him." - AX Althea Xi, an orphan and a freelance article writer in most Shanghai mainland broadcasting and newspaper companies wanted to become a famous top author in China through an international competition that will end before the new year of 2023. She came up with the decision to use the 'The Legend of the Cursed Dragon' as her setting for her work, in which her deceased grandmother always told her when it was nighttime when she was just a kid. But fate turned the tables around when she has been disqualified from the competition as soon as she used the prohibited folklore. She used that opportunity to abandon the story that was etched through her mind for a long time by throwing the bejeweled box that she was forbidden to open to the Yangtze River. Her deceased grandmother had been guarding it since her teenage years, and she knew that the box and the legend had been bringing her a stroke of bad luck all throughout her life. But before she could even leave the river, she accidentally tripped through rocks and fell down on the deep waters. She swam upwards with all her might, but little did she know, she was being transported through the year 1904, where a Chinese New Year celebration was happening on the side of the river. --------------------------- A LITTLE EXCERPT: "I exude a powerful charm I never imagined that would save you." "It was because of the power of love we have on each other." He then claimed her lips in the middle of the rain while the rivers of the Yangtze River were evident. He held onto her waist after a while. And she scraped her fingernails on his hair. They both love each other, they both do. ---------------------------- DISCLAIMER: The characters portrayed in this drama are fictitious. Organizations, names, places, and situations are based on imagination. The story used Chinese New Year as a reference for the Chinese New Year contest, and no distortion of historical resources had been made. Only the parallels of the worlds had been used, and the reality of Chinese mythology had been inked through this novel. The cover's background rights reserved through Pinterest artworks. The text is made through the Canva website by the dear author.