english joke short story

Yes. Little Johnny was in class and the teacher asked the students to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Johnny said, 'My dad told me to stay away from uncle Ted 'cause he's contagious.' The teacher said, 'No, that's not correct. You can't use it like that. Can anyone else try?' Suzy raised her hand and said, 'The flu is contagious.' The teacher said, 'Good, Suzy.' Johnny said, 'Well, what did Suzy tell you? I told you uncle Ted had the flu!'

Here's another English joke story. A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, 'Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!' The panda yells back at the manager, 'Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up!' The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: 'A tree - dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.'

Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

Micro-fiction was a form of literature that expressed profound emotions and thoughts in a short form. Below is a micro-novel that I hope you will like: A bird flew into an unfamiliar forest and met a rabbit. The rabbit asked the bird,"what are you doing here?" The bird replied,"I am looking for my home." The rabbit said,"Where do you belong?" The bird replied,"I don't know, but I have to find it." The rabbit flew to the bird and tried to catch it. The bird saw the rabbit and flew away. The rabbit caught up, but the bird had already flown away. The rabbit felt very depressed. He asked the other animals,"why do birds always fly away?" A squirrel said," A bird's home does not lie in its home, but in its soul." This story tells us that everyone's fate depends on our own heart and not our environment.

There's this joke. A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry stuck up his bum. Doctor says, 'I've got some cream for that.' It's a simple yet funny play on words with 'cream' being a solution for a strange situation.

A magician was ill and his friend asked him: 'Magician, are you okay?' He said, 'I'm fine, it's just a sleight of flu.'

Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

There was an ancient legend that said that there was a hut in a remote mountain area that was said to be empty all year round. Legend has it that an evil ghost lived in this hut and often attacked the nearby residents, causing them to fall into fear and pain. One day, a brave young man decided to go to the hut to see if it really existed. He passed through the dense forest and finally reached the hill where the cabin was located. He pushed open the door and found that it was extremely dark inside. There was only one candle light illuminating the front. The young man decided to light the lamp, but he found that the lamp core was damaged and could not be lit. He was about to leave when he heard a shrill scream. He turned around and saw a dark shadow rushing out of the room and lunging at him. The young man screamed in fear and tried to escape. However, the shadow was getting closer and closer. The young man felt his heart beat faster and could not move. In the end, he fell to the ground and lost consciousness. When the young man woke up again, he found himself lying in a beautiful garden. He was surprised to find a small pond in the garden. He walked to the pond and found a small boat in the middle of the pond with a small gift on it. He was very confused and did not know what had happened. So he went back to the hut and opened the door. The room was still dark, but he saw a letter on a table. He picked up the letter and found that it read: "Dear friend, by the time you read this letter, I will have already left this world. I know this letter will confuse you, but I hope you can understand that I've been through too much pain to bear any more torture. I hope you can forgive my choice." The young man was very touched after reading the letter. He knew that this hut was not the place where evil spirits resided, but the result of this brave youth's courage to face fear and challenge in search of the truth.

A young man named Jack lived in an old apartment. One day, he heard a legend that an ancient witch lived in this apartment and used magic to turn everyone into werewolves. Jack was very interested in this and decided to explore the authenticity of this legend. He walked through the forest and arrived at the entrance of the apartment. But when he pushed open the door, he found that it was really an old apartment and he heard the cries of the werewolves. Jack was very afraid, but he still decided to persist in the exploration. He walked to the stairs of the apartment and found an ancient treasure chest. He opened the treasure chest and found a magic ring inside. Jack thought it was a miracle that he had put the ring on his finger. However, when he tried to leave the apartment, he heard the voices of the werewolves and was trapped in the apartment. From then on, Jack was called "Werewolf Jack". He could only move at night because he had become a werewolf. His friends were afraid of him, but he was very excited because he wanted to confirm whether the legend was true or not.

Here's one: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!