english joke short story

Yes. Little Johnny was in class and the teacher asked the students to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Johnny said, 'My dad told me to stay away from uncle Ted 'cause he's contagious.' The teacher said, 'No, that's not correct. You can't use it like that. Can anyone else try?' Suzy raised her hand and said, 'The flu is contagious.' The teacher said, 'Good, Suzy.' Johnny said, 'Well, what did Suzy tell you? I told you uncle Ted had the flu!'

Here's another English joke story. A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, 'Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!' The panda yells back at the manager, 'Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up!' The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: 'A tree - dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.'

Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

There's this joke. A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry stuck up his bum. Doctor says, 'I've got some cream for that.' It's a simple yet funny play on words with 'cream' being a solution for a strange situation.

A magician was ill and his friend asked him: 'Magician, are you okay?' He said, 'I'm fine, it's just a sleight of flu.'

Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

Here's one: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

I'm not sure what kind of short joke you're referring to. If you can provide more information or context, I will try my best to help you answer your questions.

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

There was a reindeer who thought he could sing better than all the others. So on Christmas Eve, he started to sing really loudly while pulling the sleigh. Santa said, 'Rudolph, your nose is bright, but your singing is a fright!'