new year's resolutions funny stories

Be an Uber driver, one Pagani Zonda rewarded. Be a university lecturer, 10 buildings rewarded. Be a landlord, 1billion dollars rewarded. Be… Lin Yi was fired by his company and his girlfriend cheated on him. After all that had happened, he suddenly awakened the professional experience system. He could keep receiving awards as long as he kept trying and experiencing new professions? There is no job that Lin Yi isn’t familiar with! If there is, that means that the reward isn’t enticing enough!

“How perverted is Si Ye Han's taste? He still wants me like this?” Waking up, she looked at her reflection in the mirror: explosive wig, tattoos, and demon-like makeup. Any normal person’s eyes would burn if they looked at her for more than a second. Before her rebirth, she was in love with a different guy, so all she wanted to do was escape from Si Ye Han and hated him to his core after being locked up by him. After her rebirth, she looked differently at him, thinking that maybe he changed for the better? In the past, her mind was muddled. She let go of a stunning husband, was hurt by a scumbag and backstabber and most of all, was brainwashed by her most trusted friend. In the end, she was utterly alone. In her current lifetime, there are evil people scheming and eagerly waiting for her downfall. Sorry, but this girl won’t fall for the same tricks twice!

Fu Qian gracefully removed his skull, as if a gentleman were taking off his hat to pay respects. … Everything began with a transcended-dimension invitation. It's a story of a high-quality Thug turning the impossible into the possible. Of course, on that day, the great being behind the invitation was still unaware of what it had done.

“Bakit napakalibog ni Si Ye Han? Ganito pa rin ang tingin niya sa akin?” Pagkagising niya, tiningnan niya ang kanyang sarili sa salamin: sinalubong siya ng sabog na wig, tatuan at mala-demonyong makeup. Kahit isang segunda lang, paniguradong masusunog ang mga mata ng isang normal na tao. Iba ang lalaking iniibig niya sa una buhay noon, bago siya mabuhay muli. Gusto niya lamang makawala kay Si Ye Han na kinagagalitan niya dahil ikinulong siya nito, Pero nang mabuhay siya ulit, nag-iba ang kanyang pananaw kay Si Ye Han, umaasa na siya na baka… magbabago na ito? Sa buhay niya noon, walang direksyon at napakagulo ng isip niya. Naghiwalay sila ng gwapo niyang asawa, sinaktan ng masama at mapanirang tao; higit sa lahat, ginamit siya ng matalik niyang kaibigan. At sa huli, siya ay naiwang nag-iisa. Pero ngayon, sa panibagong buhay niya, hinihintay at nagpa-plano na pabagsakin pa lamang siya ng mga masasamang taong iyon. Pasensya na pero, hindi na muli magpapaloko ang babaeng ito!

Ajax is an orphan who survives a massacre along with his friends but unfortunately gets separated from them. Fortunately, after a turn of events, he successfully gains a system which helps him increase his cultivation but doesn't know what it is called. But he knows one thing for sure, this system is mighty and helpful in taking his revenge. "Whoever you are, I am gonna find you", Ajax mumbled with a disgruntled expression. In a world where the Summoning of an elemental spirit is done through a dream when they are 15 years old, Ajax with the help of a system and his summoned spirits sets out on a journey to seek revenge against the mastermind behind the massacre.

Tricked by a soothsaying mother, during the ghost year, ghost month, ghost day, and the wide-open Ghost Gate, I sneaked into the deep mountains with a Zhang Family heirloom, the Star Stealing Life-changing Talisman. By a mix-up of Yin and Yang, a devastatingly beautiful thousand-year-old female corpse absorbed some of my life force, and she awakened... Kids over 12, please watch this book together with the little buddy on your back, and don't block his view! (Note: don't turn back now, because he has also seen this text!)

Have you ever felt like you wanted to live a new life as someone else? Have you ever desired to experience a new life without the limits that our daily lives always put us through? Have you ever had the crave for adventure and to soar across endless horizons? Brand New Life Online, a new Full Dive VRMMO promised to make all these dreams come true. Said to be a brand-new experience at life, an incredibly realistic game and acclaimed to be fantastically complex yet simplistic enough for just anybody to understand and enjoy, this virtual reality game quickly took over the entire world of video games, with new players soaring the tens of millions in its first year of launch! Elayne, a young mother, is suddenly thrown into this game because she wanted to reconnect with her daughter, but she’ll quickly find herself delving into endless conflicts, fights, action, and a world filled with history and mysteries… Will our protagonist be able to progress through these challenges all while taking care of her farm, protecting the forest, and also seeking her daughter? Who knows? Maybe she’ll even end up defeating a World Boss! Over 100000 Words available for FREE! Daily Chapters

The world ended in 2012. Hao Xuan was transported to a new realm along with the rest of humanity. The novel follows his adventures through this vast new plane, fighting men and beasts alike, making friends, finding love, and etching out his own existence in the boundless universe all the while trying to unravel an insidious plot that he has unwittingly become a part of. Romance, humor, friendship, betrayal, loss, schemes, light, and darkness. All the creatures from your dreams, stories, and movies are real in this absurdly wonderous world. TLDR: A Xuanhuan Eastern High fantasy novel centered around a displaced teen from earth in a world of cultivators, mythical monsters, Archaic Demons, and Old Gods. Tags: Magic, Adventure, Cultivation, Martial Arts, XianXia, Romance, Futuristic, Story Buildup, Demons and Gods, Gore and Violence, Military, Kingdom Building, mystery, exploration, sci-fi, Mech, World Jumping, Fate/Destiny. Official Discord (contains all new reference images): discord. gg / AHdSBFQ If you want to directly support me (preffered over all other channels): ko- fi. com/ shinigami8671

Three-year-old Jiang Huailu transmigrates to find herself at the execution grounds! She opens her eyes. The guillotine blade is hanging above her head, swaying. Her parents are wearing prison uniforms. They stretch their necks long, waiting for the guillotine blade to fall. ... This is a world where devils prevail. Evil energy rages here. People shut their doors at night and only come out at dawn. The empire is in chaos. World order has collapsed. The monarchs are brutal. Wars break out. People are living from hand to mouth. The Imperial Preceptor predicts that a disaster is approaching. A devil will destroy the world, and the legendary savior will come to save them. The entire empire is looking forward to the appearance of the savior, searching for her... But the savior is only three and a half years old! Can the savior cry in front of the world-destroying devil to stop him? Three-year-old Jiang Huailu doesn’t really want to be the savior! ... Isn’t it enough to stop the devil from harming other people thereby making herself the only one to suffer? Saving the world indirectly is also a kind of salvation!

She gets drunk in the bar and accidentally offends her husband whom she has rarely met throughout their two-year-marriage! Rumor has it that Young Master Rong Yan is a germaphobe and will never let any woman get near him. Why is she an exception? Rumor has it that Young Master Rong Yan is ill-tempered and whoever offends him, would be sent to meet Hades. But why is she still in one piece after provoking him? She would definitely make those who bully her and treat her unfairly, pay the consequences for their actions! "Little Custard's Home Rules" "Rule No. 1: You may hug a pretty woman but you can't get intimate with them!"; "Rule No. 2: If you're displeased with me, you may raise your objections or make suggestions, but you’re not allowed to resort to violence!"