One: A cat went to the vet. The vet said, 'Your cat is just fat.' The cat hissed, 'I'm not fat, I'm just big -boned!' Another: A duck walked into a bar and asked, 'Got any grapes?' The bartender said no. The duck left. Next day, the duck came back and asked again. Bartender said no. Duck left. Third day, duck came and asked, 'Got any grapes?' Bartender, annoyed, said, 'No, and if you ask again, I'll nail your beak shut!' Next day, duck came and asked, 'Got any nails?' Bartender said no. Duck said, 'Good. Got any grapes?'
For you. Story 1: A parrot was sitting on a perch. A magician walked by and said, 'I can make you disappear.' The parrot said, 'Oh yeah? Then make my cage disappear first.' Story 2: A squirrel was gathering nuts. Another squirrel said, 'You're hoarding too much.' The first squirrel said, 'I'm just preparing for the nut -pocalypse.'
A parrot learned to mimic the sound of a ringing phone. Every time the phone actually rang, the parrot would start making the ringing noise too, causing a lot of chaos and laughter in the house.
Well, there is a story about a parrot. A family bought a parrot but it had a bad habit of swearing. Every time someone passed by, it would say bad words. They tried everything to make it stop. Finally, they put it in the freezer for a few minutes. When they took it out, the parrot shivered and said very politely, 'I'm sorry for my bad behavior.' And it never swore again. It was really funny how the cold made it change its attitude.
Well, there's a story about a cat. The cat tried to catch a laser pointer dot all day, and when it finally did, it was very confused. Another one is about a dog. A dog went to the park and saw a squirrel. It chased the squirrel up a tree, and then sat at the bottom of the tree barking for an hour as if the squirrel was going to come down just because of the barking.
A cat once chased its own tail so furiously that it got dizzy and bumped into a wall. It sat there for a few seconds, looking confused as if it couldn't figure out what just happened.
A cat went to the vet. The vet said, 'Your cat is just fat.' The cat replied, 'I'm not fat, I'm just big - boned.' Another one: A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'What'll it be?' The duck says, 'Just give me some water and put it on my bill.'
A cat once followed a dog into a bar. The bartender was shocked and said, 'We don't serve cats here.' The cat replied, 'I'm not here for a drink. I'm just here to follow my friend.' And then it sat next to the dog. Everyone in the bar started laughing. It was so unexpected to see a cat so determined to be with a dog in a bar.
There was a squirrel that tried to jump from one tree branch to another but misjudged the distance. It ended up hanging in mid - air for a second before falling onto a pile of leaves. And I saw a duck that walked into a glass door because it didn't realize there was a barrier there. It was so funny seeing it shake its head in confusion.
A mouse once saw a cat wearing a bell and said, 'That's a nice idea, but now we can't hear you coming either!'
There was a little mouse who was always boasting about how brave he was. One day, he saw a cat and said, 'I'm not afraid of you!' and he started making loud noises. The cat just looked at him and said, 'You're not even on my menu today, little mouse.' And the mouse was left feeling a bit silly. This short story is humorous as it shows the mouse's overconfidence and the cat's nonchalant response.
Of course. Story 1: A parrot learned bad words. Kept saying them. Owner put it in time - out. Story 2: A mouse saw a cat's shadow. Fainted. Woke up and fainted again. Story 3: A giraffe tried to fit in a small tent. Its neck said no. So did the tent.