The World seems Realistic but Why do I have a Leveling System?

Sigh. I went into this novel with high hopes, but returned feeling despondent. One of my favorite things to read about are leveling systems, and I don't mind the occasional girls' love, but the things that really killed this book for me was the grammar and the huge gaps in logic. Honestly, I don't know what to say. The grammar isn't as bad as on some of the other books on this site, but that doesn't detract from how atrocious it is in the slightest. Maybe it gets better later on, but if the grammar was the only thing wrong, then I wouldn't be dropping this so soon. No, what's really wrong is the ****e character design, sloppy story development, lazy world background, and the dumb logic the author uses. Fifteen chapters in, and we basically know nothing about the world, other than the fact that there is a school, some companies, her home, and the fact that it's set in a modern information age. That's it. Not horrible, just a bit lazy. The story development so far is boring. That's the only word I can use to describe it. The leveling system takes a bit of time to get started, I get it, but currently the author is adding some 'young master straight out of a xianxia gets offended' sub-plot, which really just made me want to die. Not because of the premise, nor the cliche, but because of how fucking badly it's done, and how forced it feels. Like really? A young company heir with a net worth of 10 mil can't even hire any subordinates, and has to do the dirty work himself? Then he gets offended when he can't successfully kidnap someone? Talk about forced logic. Then comes the hail mary, the holy fucking grail, the character design. Oh boy. We're made to believe that the protagonist is just your average gamer girl, but is that all she is? Oh no, she's also a warrior, a survivor. After surviving in the forest for 6 hours while hunting slimes, she became strong. Then, upon hearing about people wanting to kidnap her (because of her super opop senses that she got from kicking some slime ass ofc) she walks them into an alley (ok, we can make a stretch and say that she got overconfident after beating up some slimes), and then she proceeds to actually beat down two fully grown men. Yes, her stats are high, but that doesn't mean she can knock out a trained professional(lmao jk it was just some stupid fucking company heir that doesn't even have a developed enough brain to even THINK about hiring trained fucking professionals to do his dirty work). Then, after beating them up, she proceeds to strip them half-naked and take pictures instead of calling the police, such a normal thing for a normal gamer girl to do, right? Also, the author makes the mc metagame(mc's sixth sense) by referencing 'I alone level up' when there was nothing pointing towards the system having such mechanics. The author does update pretty regularly though, I'll give him that. Overall, I can't read one paragraph without thinking "God, that's fucking dumb". But hey, that's just my opinion, I'm sure that non native English speakers who haven't passed third grade English classes and people who don't mind reading braindead novels for fun would enjoy this. It's just not something for me. Writing Quality 1/5 (Yeah, not for grammar nazis, or anyone with a modicum of self respect) Stability of Updates 4/5 (Only part of this novel that is good) Story Development 3/5 (Gets a pass because system novels are normally slow) Character Design 1/5 (Again, fucking atrocious) World Background 3/5 (Lazy) Sorry about the harsh review, but I really can't put it in a nicer way, even after trying a few times. That's just how much I dislike the book. If you want some constructive criticism, then I'll give you some things you can do to make it a bit more bearable to read. First, find a better editor, preferably a native English speaker. Second, go over and revise your old chapters to make sure that what's happening makes sense from a normal persons point of view. You don't become badass just from killing a few slimes for 6 hours. It just doesn't happen. You also can't accurately hit a moving target with no prior training while using a weapon. It just doesn't happen. Your main character is a gamer girl. Remember to always run a scene through the perspective of your main character, not through your own. Also make sure that your writing stays true to the personality of the characters you write about. A gamer doesn't go from having no social life and no training to being a badass pussy slayer that can slaughter entire nations without the blink of an eye. It just doesn't happen. That's about all I can give you with what little I could stomach to read.

The story is okay, the worldbuilding is kind of gradual while we read about the MC exploring it all. The dynamic between Sheila and Ria is pretty good, though it feels kind of overused since Sheila keeps ignoring her best friend's advice and heartfelt intentions to support her in this new magical world. The rate of growth between the characters feels like comparing the running speed between a fat and fit person, there is no comparing. So while the MC keeps growing stronger and stronger the others just kind of fall behind at a snail's pace. I'd like to recommend this if you like your generic leveling system + upcoming apocalypse + girls love novel!

i enjoy the story far. Keep it author <3 There are very few about novel with system for girls and this is one of them and the reason why i love this story.

Someone please teach me how to write a story . (Random question i know ) i love written storys cause they sort of help me i out a bit with my format and other things

劇透

This is a review of the first seventeen chapters. The main character is a 17 year old high school girl named Shelia who lives with her mom. She loves computer games and wishes that she could gain a system in real life. One morning she wakes up only to find the “Leveling System” has installed itself onto her cellphone. Shelia’s reactions to her wish being granted are what you would expect from a high school student. Overall, the author has written a flowing narrative. The story is in the fantasy genre, but there is a realistic feeling to the setting. Shelia’s character acts and randomly jumps between thoughts like a normal teenager. Unfortunately, Shelia is the only three dimensional character in the story so far. The pacing of the story is slowed due to the high level of details. While the author has work hard to remove misspellings, there are still strangely worded sentences.

A very promising start. The world is interesting and I would like to see how the author will craft his tale with his story telling. Please don't drop this, more power to you!

First of all, I’d like to mention how pretty the cover is! The design is similar to those contracted novels. I usually read this genre from time to time but to see this type of novel set in a modern era caught my attention. The novel still has 4 chapters so far but it’s clear to see that this book has a lot of potential. There were a few minor grammar mistakes but it doesn’t affect the overall story. Kudos to the author for making a great book so far! Hoping for more updates soon~

It's sk nice that I always wait for the update and it's so promising. Pls. Don't drop this novel. I really like the system thingy. So more stoneeeeee.

Hey! If you have any interest or need for an editor, I'd gladly be willing to talk to you about it. Let me know if you'd like any help. I can just proof read for you or edit your chapters, cant wait to hear from you.

劇透

it's only two chapter but i'm already liking it. i want more! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP! EXP!

I started reading the story not long ago, but it is amaxing and oringinal and i reaaaaaaly like it.

Very good work author-san, the MC has a great and interesting personality, and side characters aren't just forgotten in the abyss of the script. I hope you will continue writing this novel at the pace you're going at now, but if you have trouble advancing the story do not hesitate to make a pause. Thank you very much for your story until now, and please keep up the good work!

Nice and interesting one. Love to read more about it. Hope more chapters will come sooner. I think the male character is quite sorted. Female character is cute.

Whoa! this is an Awesome Novel and a very promising one, Don't ever drop it! I Would recommend anyone to read this novel if they asked for magical realism as Genre!

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Giving 5 stars since i'm inlove with this piece :3 ...............................................................................................................

As of this review, 40 chapters have been posted. Writing is readable. Straightforward, not a lot of show-don’t-tell. Author has loose grasp on tenses, often switching between past and present tense. The story is okay, but I couldn’t be bothered to read it in detail mostly because the author writes their dialogues “ like this, “ instead of “like this,” and that is, to me, very annoying. A lot of text walls. The story seems reminiscent of ‘Only I Level Up’, except the protagonist is a girl and she is, for lack of better words, a total Mary Sue. Wish there was a more gradual levelling process instead of just heaping benefits on her that was disproportionate to the amount of effort she put in, kind of like the protagonist from ‘I am a Gamer’. But again, I don’t care. I wasn’t absorbed in the story in the least, IMO. But good for the author, that you have other readers who are actually reading the story properly, because I’m not and I won’t. All in all—OK story, needs editing. Good luck to the author and don’t stop writing if you can help it.

I liked the premise, and that the MC was female so I tried very hard to like this story. But it's just too painful to read. There is No world background. The main character is an airhead with little development. The author very rarely describes anything. What the MC looks like, her mother, friend, school, city, clothes. There's almost no adjectives. How can readers be drawn into your world if you don't describe it? The entire story runs like a young teenage girls internal monologue yet it also fails to properly express her thoughts or opinions on things. The writing quality is low and the character has no motivation. Additionally there is the cliche, I'm a totally average girl with really above average looks but I am unaware of it. Author, you have promise but I suggest getting an editor that can help you flesh out your world and writing so that you can convey the images in your head onto the screen for your readers.