Sigh. I went into this novel with high hopes, but returned feeling despondent. One of my favorite things to read about are leveling systems, and I don't mind the occasional girls' love, but the things that really killed this book for me was the grammar and the huge gaps in logic. Honestly, I don't know what to say. The grammar isn't as bad as on some of the other books on this site, but that doesn't detract from how atrocious it is in the slightest. Maybe it gets better later on, but if the grammar was the only thing wrong, then I wouldn't be dropping this so soon. No, what's really wrong is the ****e character design, sloppy story development, lazy world background, and the dumb logic the author uses. Fifteen chapters in, and we basically know nothing about the world, other than the fact that there is a school, some companies, her home, and the fact that it's set in a modern information age. That's it. Not horrible, just a bit lazy. The story development so far is boring. That's the only word I can use to describe it. The leveling system takes a bit of time to get started, I get it, but currently the author is adding some 'young master straight out of a xianxia gets offended' sub-plot, which really just made me want to die. Not because of the premise, nor the cliche, but because of how fucking badly it's done, and how forced it feels. Like really? A young company heir with a net worth of 10 mil can't even hire any subordinates, and has to do the dirty work himself? Then he gets offended when he can't successfully kidnap someone? Talk about forced logic. Then comes the hail mary, the holy fucking grail, the character design. Oh boy. We're made to believe that the protagonist is just your average gamer girl, but is that all she is? Oh no, she's also a warrior, a survivor. After surviving in the forest for 6 hours while hunting slimes, she became strong. Then, upon hearing about people wanting to kidnap her (because of her super opop senses that she got from kicking some slime ass ofc) she walks them into an alley (ok, we can make a stretch and say that she got overconfident after beating up some slimes), and then she proceeds to actually beat down two fully grown men. Yes, her stats are high, but that doesn't mean she can knock out a trained professional(lmao jk it was just some stupid fucking company heir that doesn't even have a developed enough brain to even THINK about hiring trained fucking professionals to do his dirty work). Then, after beating them up, she proceeds to strip them half-naked and take pictures instead of calling the police, such a normal thing for a normal gamer girl to do, right? Also, the author makes the mc metagame(mc's sixth sense) by referencing 'I alone level up' when there was nothing pointing towards the system having such mechanics. The author does update pretty regularly though, I'll give him that. Overall, I can't read one paragraph without thinking "God, that's fucking dumb". But hey, that's just my opinion, I'm sure that non native English speakers who haven't passed third grade English classes and people who don't mind reading braindead novels for fun would enjoy this. It's just not something for me.
Writing Quality 1/5 (Yeah, not for grammar nazis, or anyone with a modicum of self respect)
Stability of Updates 4/5 (Only part of this novel that is good)
Story Development 3/5 (Gets a pass because system novels are normally slow)
Character Design 1/5 (Again, fucking atrocious)
World Background 3/5 (Lazy)
Sorry about the harsh review, but I really can't put it in a nicer way, even after trying a few times. That's just how much I dislike the book. If you want some constructive criticism, then I'll give you some things you can do to make it a bit more bearable to read. First, find a better editor, preferably a native English speaker. Second, go over and revise your old chapters to make sure that what's happening makes sense from a normal persons point of view. You don't become badass just from killing a few slimes for 6 hours. It just doesn't happen. You also can't accurately hit a moving target with no prior training while using a weapon. It just doesn't happen. Your main character is a gamer girl. Remember to always run a scene through the perspective of your main character, not through your own. Also make sure that your writing stays true to the personality of the characters you write about. A gamer doesn't go from having no social life and no training to being a badass pussy slayer that can slaughter entire nations without the blink of an eye. It just doesn't happen. That's about all I can give you with what little I could stomach to read.
