Loser

With my eyes still closed, I ran my hand up and down the bedside table, searching for the phone. I couldn't find it, so I was forced to open my eyes. The bedroom was neat as usual.

I sat up in bed and turned off the alarm. My head felt strange, like it sometimes does when I wake up from a particularly vivid dream. But usually those are the types of dreams that I still remember in the morning, and yet this time I hardly remembered a thing.

There was a green glow, and the smell of burning rubber.

And was there a girl? I think there was a girl.

I rubbed my eyes and shrugged. I had to get ready for work.

I stood up, made my bed, and went to wash my face and brush my teeth. I was just getting started on breakfast when I heard a knock at the door.

"Who would come this early in the morning?" I wondered aloud. I thought about ignoring it, but the knocking persisted, and it just kept getting louder.

"Chotto matte kudasai," I called out and walked over to the door. But when I opened it, I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was Morimoto Hitomi, the prettiest girl in high school!

"Um… Morimoto-senpai," I said nervously. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled at me. "Well, what do you think? I'm here to see you, my little Birito-kun." She just strolled in through the door and pushed me aside. I could feel her long auburn hair graze my face as she walked past me, and I could smell the scent of her perfume.

"Wow it's so organized in here," she said.

"Yeah, um, thanks. Shouldn't you be at school, Morimoto-senpai?" She was wearing her school uniform and a backpack was hanging from one of her shoulders.

"I thought we could walk to school together. Is that okay with you, Birito-kun?" As she spoke, she was walking around my apartment and studying everything with great interest.

"But I don't have school. I have to go to work."

Something was strange here, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. My mind was hazy.

"Wait, what's that?!" Morimoto-senpai asked. I didn't know what she meant at first, but then I noticed it too.

My bedroom was empty and the door was closed, but strange sounds were now coming out of there, and even stranger still, the door looked like it was pulsing.

"What's in there?" Morimoto-senpai asked.

"Nothing."

"Come on, tell me the truth. Is it an animal?"

"No," I insisted. "There's nothing there, it's just my bedroom."

Morimoto-senpai walked over to the door and turned the knob.

"Wait, watch out!" I shouted. I don't know why, but I suddenly felt intense fear.

As soon as the bedroom door opened, a heap of junk rushed out from the room like an avalanche. Soon the entire floor was covered with it.

"What is all this?" she asked.

I looked down. The floor was full of old manga volumes, anime figurines, gundam models, and body pillows.

"Eww, Birito-kun! Are you an OTAKU?!"

"NO!" I screamed. "I hate Otakus!"

"Then why is this stuff in your room?"

"I… I don't know. I threw it all out, years ago. I live a normal life. I contribute to society."

Morimoto-senpai began to laugh. "You're still just an Otaku… A LOSER!"

"No, I'm not…."

"LOSER! No wonder I never wanted to talk to you in high school! Worthless Otaku! Good-for-nothing loner!"

I shook my head rapidly. "NO! I left it all behind me. I work as a delivery driver now. I contribute to society!"

"LOSER!" Morimoto-senpai shouted again and again. And soon her voice was joined by a chorus of other voices. It was as if my entire high school was chanting the same word over and over again.

LOSER!

LOSER!

LOSER!

I dropped to my knees. "No…I'm not…no…" Even then, in that terrifying moment, I knew that something was wrong. In the back of my mind I was starting to notice the inconsistencies.

If I was already a delivery truck driver and living on my own, then why was Morimoto-senpai here? I haven't seen her since high school, and that was a decade ago. She's even wearing her uniform, and she said that she wanted me to walk her to school.

But back when we were in the same class, she never even gave me a second look. She never spoke to me once. I only admired her from afar as the prettiest girl in the entire school.

I could never muster the courage to talk to her, because I was a…

LOSER!

LOSER!

LOSER!

The chanting continued.

"I'M NOT!" I screamed. "I'M NOT A LOSER! NOT ANYMORE!"

LOSER!

LOSER!

LOSER!

I was now in the middle of my high-school gymnasium, kneeling on the hardwood floor with my head in my hands as every single student in my class stood over me, pointing and chanting "LOSER!" over and over again. The chanting droned on incessantly, and then I heard a high-pitched cackle rising up from somewhere in the crowd.

I looked up and saw that it was Morimoto-senpai. She looked down at me like I was a piece of dog shit on her shoe. "You're a LOSER, Birito-kun!"

She continued to cackle as the others chanted that single word again and again.

LOSER!

LOSER!

LOSER!

But then…

"Birito-kun…," I thought. Why would she call me "Birito-kun"? She never even spoke to me before, and now she calls me "Birito-kun"?

It didn't make any sense.

But "Birito-kun" sounded familiar. I had the weird feeling that another girl called me that all the time, to the point that it was annoying. And this other girl – I can't really remember anything about her – but I do remember that she was just as pretty as Morimoto-senpai. No, she was even prettier.

And she had bigger boobs!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" I shouted over the chanting. All of this was wrong. If I was already working at Spamazon, then why was I back in high school? If Morimoto-senpai never spoke to me before, then why was she visiting me at my apartment? And if I was just in my apartment a second ago, then what am I doing at the gymnasium?!

Somewhere far away, in the furthest reaches of my mind, I heard her voice calling me…

"NO! BIRITO-KUN! COME BACK!"

"Truck-chan…" I muttered. "Her name is TRUCK-CHAN!"

Now it was all coming back to me, as if a thick fog was lifting from my mind. I'm not some loser! Truck-chan is a beautiful girl, and she likes me. And then there's Briggo! He's the coolest guy I ever met, and he calls me his friend.

"I'm not a loser," I said aloud, and as I spoke those words, the people who were standing over me and laughing began evaporating one by one. I stood up and looked squarely at Morimoto-senpai.

"I'M NOT A LOSER!" I screamed, and then Morimoto-senpai was gone too. Everything turned black again, but I saw a light somewhere in the distance. I could still hear Truck-chan's voice telling me to come back, and her voice was coming from the same direction as that light, so I ran towards it.

The light grew bigger and brighter as I ran, and then, suddenly, I was back.

Recon's purple smoke was still swirling around me, but my kink was there. She held a long katana in her hands and she was spinning it around quickly, so quickly that it was functioning as a giant fan. She was using it to blow the smoke away from me.

"Samurina…," I said. "Thank you."

She nodded. Samurina was a beautiful woman with piercing green eyes and long black hair that was tied up in the back. She wore a bright red shade of lipstick, large ornate earrings, and a light green Gi that was tied loosely around the chest area, exposing large blooming cleavage. Below the Gi she wore a black Hakama and traditional Geta sandals.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I've always had a thing for women in traditional Japanese clothing.

Samurina managed to create a gap in the purple smoke, and we both ran through it. On the other side of the smoke I saw Lubo lying motionless on the ground as Recon attempted to abduct Truck-chan. He was pulling her by the arm, but she was fighting back.

"LET ME GO!" she screeched, clawing and scratching and kicking. Further off in the distance, the main battle against the Darchangels was still raging.

"Come with me now or you will regret it! Do you hear me, big tits?! If you keep resisting, I'll kill your precious boyfriend, and then I'll use an ancient magic spell to make you come with me anyway."

"NO! Birito won't let you take me! COME BACK, BIRITO-KUN!"

"I'M HERE!" I screamed. "I'm here, Truck-chan!" I ran towards her and Samurina ran with me, matching my pace step for step.

Recon turned to look at us. "WHAT?! How did you escape the projection?"

"BIRITO-KUN!" Truck-chan exclaimed. "I knew you'd come back! And wow, you have a kink! She's AWESOME!"

"Don't worry, Truck-chan. We'll take it from here."

Recon sighed. "I don't get it. A kink virgin and isekai noob like you should have been immobilized by my projection."

"Oh please," I said as the green aura around me billowed. "Your stupid dream couldn't fool me."

"Ugh, what an idiot! Listen, moron… it wasn't a dream. My kink has the ability to identify everyone's biggest insecurity and project terrifying visions of that insecurity into their minds. Kinks are a manifestation of the user's innermost desires, and if they cannot fully embrace those desires because of their insecurities, their kinks will be useless. That is why this ability is normally effective against even the strongest opponents."

I remembered Dakota telling me something similar back when we visited his tavern. To use their powers effectively, kink users must embrace their deepest desires.

"My point is that you should be rolling on the ground and crying helplessly right about now. But you're not. Despite being a complete novice and total moron, you beat my projection. HOW?!"

"What does it matter to you?!" I asked. I was trying to think of a way to get him away from Truck-chan without causing any harm to her. He was still gripping her arm, and because of his demonic strength she was unable to break free on her own.

Recon sighed. "Well, I'm going to kill you anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter all that much. But if you could explain it to me, then I would be able to make useful adjustments in the future."

"And why should I help you?"

"Ah, good point, good point." Recon thought it over. I heard a loud CRACK coming from the main battlefield. Kor's magical girl kink was battling it out with the stone kink, and sparks were flying everywhere.

"All right, I've got it!" Recon exclaimed. "If you tell me how you beat my projection, I will still kill you, but I will spare the girl's life." He looked at Truck-chan and laughed menacingly.

"SCREW YOU! I won't let you hurt Birito-kun, you smelly demon pervert!" Truck-chan continued to struggle, and she tried kicking out at Recon, but his demon body wouldn't budge.

I looked at Samurina, and I had the feeling that she knew exactly what we had to do. I obviously couldn't trust this guy to keep his word, but I had to distract him long enough for Samurina to sneak up on him and free Truck-chan.

"All right, I'll tell you everything. Just promise that you'll let her go."

Recon grinned, his sharp teeth glistening. "Oh yes, I promise."

I started walking towards them, trying to place myself between Recon and Samurina. Floating streaks of purple smoke still hung to the ground, and my plan was to walk through one of these streaks on my way to Recon. Then Samurina could use the smoke as cover and take him by surprise.

"In all the years I spent in high school and university, I didn't have many friends and I was too shy to talk to girls. I made up for it by immersing myself in the fantasy worlds of Anime and Manga. Then one day I woke up in my mid-20s with the haunting realization that I still haven't accomplished anything in life. I was a jobless loner who didn't contribute anything to society."

"Wow… that's great!" Recon said. "But guess what? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! Get to the point where you beat the projection."

I was almost there. The thick streak of smoke was just ahead of me. Samurina was still behind me, but she was slowly drifting further away from me as we walked. She knew what my plan was, and she was playing along.

"I blamed it all on Otaku culture," I said. "I convinced myself that I was a lonely friendless virgin because everyone hated Otakus. I thought that liking Anime made me a loser, so I rejected it completely. I threw out all my Anime stuff, I got a normal job, and I did my best to be a productive member of society."

I stepped through the smoke and emerged on the other side, but Samurina was lagging behind. This was the critical moment: I had to keep his attention focused on me.

"BUT I WAS WRONG!" I shouted. Recon raised an eyebrow. "Don't you get it, Recon?!"

"DEMON LORD HAVOC!"

"Right, sure, but think about it! You can be an Anime fan without becoming disconnected from the real world! You can enjoy Otaku culture without turning into an obsessed lunatic who wants to jump in front of a truck to get isekai'd, or worse yet, turning into a total poser like Greg."

"Huh?! Who's Greg?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Samurina was making her move. She was circling her way towards Recon in a wide arc while staying out of his line of vision. Her speed was incredible.

"DON'T YOU GET IT?! I was ashamed of my Otaku past, so I overcompensated by lashing out against them. I was insecure, and that was holding me back. But then I came here, and I realized that I was wrong. Even in this isekai world full of overused tropes and cringy cliches, I was able to make friends, overcome my fears, and grow as a person!"

"Okay, now we're getting somewhere…."

"I was able to undergo my CHADFORMATION!"

As I spoke that final word, Samurina jumped into action. She leapt out of the smoke and ran straight for Recon at breakneck speed. She now had two long swords, one in each hand.

Recon spotted her. "Ah, a dual-wielder! Impressive!"

Once his attention was drawn to Samurina, Truck-chan decided to act. Instead of trying to pull away from Recon, she stepped closer to him, and then she kicked him right in the balls.

"ARGH!" Recon screeched and dropped to one knee, and Truck-chan jerked away from him and ran towards me.

"I'll get you for this!" Recon exclaimed, but Samurina was closing in on him.

And then that smoke again! It shot out from Recon's aura like steam from a pressure-cooker, and soon his entire body was hidden.

Samurina flew into the smoke, ready to strike.

I lost sight of her for only an instant, but the next thing I knew, I was down on my knees. It felt as though my breath was completely knocked out of me, and I struggled to inhale.

Then I saw Samurina. She flew headfirst out of the smoke and crashed onto the ground.

Something had just hit her – HARD – and I was feeling some of her pain.

Truck-chan ran up to me. "Birito-kun!" she cried and threw her arms around me. "Are you okay?!"

"I… I think so," I said, still fighting to catch my breath.

"HUA-HUA-HUA-HUA-HUA! Now you've done it, you fools! You've made my Mistress mad!"

Someone was emerging from the thick purple smoke. It was a tall and imposing woman with glowing blue eyes. She was holding the end of a dog-leash, and Recon was crawling behind her on all fours as she walked.

He was grinning from ear to ear. "Yes, my Mistress! Yes, my Queen! Yes… MELODY!"